Or at least, that's how I feel. I'm looking to various approaches to these issues. I'm also very interested in the Radical Unschooling approach to these issues, so I'm probably going to cross post over in the Unschooling subforum. I usually adopt a natural consequences approach to things.
My DD can be really sweet. I have for a long time attempted to convince myself that she was a typical 1yo/2yo/3yo. I however am confident that she has some sensory issues. She's currently eating like four teenage boys, and we're getting that looked into as well. I'm just really at a loss about how to deal with some of her isses. Here they are:
-Cleaning up her messes. I think I model pretty good housekeeping for her. Our living space is open and she has a little "nook" behind the couch (well, really a 6x6ish area) and a rug for her toys. Everything is easily organized. She has baskets for her stuff, hooks to hang things, shelves on her kitchen for the play kitchen stuff. Although she usually centers her play around her play area, it somehow spaces out and there are blocks and cars and play tomatoes everywhere. I don't really care about this while she's playing, but once she's done, wants to go to bed, wants to eat, go out, etc, the mess remains. I don't care about the unsighltiness of it, I really am concerned about tripping over it, my DH tripping over it, and more importantly, my 1yo tripping over it. We all have. We have stone floors placed over a concrete slab, so falling is no picnic here. My 3yo trips less frequently (and she's the most clumsy out of all of us) so it's hard to make that "click" in her head. She really doesn't get that toys all over the floor=someone could trip and fall. Any advice? She just refuses to pick up her stuff and actually tells me "you do it". I guess I should, since I'm the one taking issue with it. I do help her if she asks, but it doesn't sit well with me when she demands that I clean up the mess that she made. Idk. Maybe it's really petty. I clean up her food messes, etc. I really don't know.
-Chewing with her mouth closed. She will refuse to do it, and actually chew LOUDER. It's a huge pet peeve of mine, and this morning while she was eating and I was nursing the baby I got the words creepy crawly feeling. It took everything I had not to scream and run down the block. When can I expect her to do this?
-Inside/outside voice. I cannot concentrate on whatever when she's SCREAMING in my ear, just having a normal conversation. Nothing gets done when I can't concentrate- it's my own flaw, but I'd like for her to work with me on it. I think that's fair. Any ideas?
-Running inside of the house. As I mentioned, we have stone floors. She's very clumsy. She does trip on her stuff when she runs. She just runs back and forth, she could do it all day. She always falls and gets hurt and it ends up being a huge deal and then she gets back up and keeps running. I guess I shouldn't mind if she doesn't mind getting hurt, but she trips over her sister, runs over her sister and hurts her, breaks things when she falls on top of them, etc.
-Allowing her sister to play. She just won't and I feel so bad. I often have to separate them and take a toy for my 1yo to play with because my 3yo refuses to let her play with "her toys". My 3yo snatches toys from her sister and pushes her out of the way (often hurting and scaring my 1yo). All of the toys we have are age appropriate for both of them (most of our toys are "waldorf" toys and could really be anything and everything. Nothing chokeable either). She has toys that are "hers" and those I'm fine with her not sharing, after all, I'd like her to have ownership over some stuff, kwim? But if she's playing with blocks and her sister wants to sit in front of the play kitchen and open and close the cabinets, her sister should be free to do that, kwim? The only time she will "play" with her sister is when she wants to involve her in her play (because she NEEDS someone to be involved). This is usually when she makes a big pot of "soup". She gives us each a bowl of soup. Other than that, she plays very independently and just doesn't want to be bothered.
I think there are some more issues but for right now that's all I can think of. I have my 1yo on the couch with me and when I was typing this up, about halfway through, my 3yo came and snatched a toy that my 1yo was playing with over here and the 1yo got upset and headbutted me in the ribs. OUCH.