Is this too pissy?

[oceanbaby]

As you can see from my long thread below on bullying, we've had some issues the past few months with some kids at school.  The teacher and principal, while taking steps to solve it, have had the attitude that I'm a pain in the butt parent.  Whatever, that's been the least of my concerns.

However, this morning, I get an email from ds's teacher with a forward about a parenting class.  Here's the description:  "As a reminder, this group doesn't really focus on specific discipline models, developmental needs of kids, etc., it really is an ongoing conversation about how we keep calm when our high-needs, high-risk kids are pushing our buttons and how we understand their challenging behaviors."

I'm pissed.  Ds is not a high needs, high risk kid, and I don't think this situation had anything to do with challenging behaviors or him pushing my buttons.  I know the zen buddha response would be to ignore it, but I'd rather send this email:

"Ds isn’t a high needs kid, and we don’t need any parenting help.  The only challenges we’ve had are directly related to negative experiences at school.  Maybe some of the other parents you sent it to will find it helpful."

Too much?  I've always been irked that none of the other parents were ever even notified of what was happening at school, even though their kids have admitted that they have purposely excluded ds and been name calling.  And then she sends this email to me?  Grrr.

[sapphire_chan]

To: Ds's Teacher

CC: Principal

"Dear DS's Teacher,

Why did you send me this information? Sincerely Oceanbaby"

[oceanbaby]

I get that that would be an interesting and non aggressive reply, but I really don't want to initiate a discussion with her about this.  I want to make it clear to her that we do NOT consider ds to be a high needs child, and that we are not in need of parenting support.  I'm too pissed to even do a whole "thank you for your concern but" kind of reply.  I don't thank her for her concern - I'm offended.
 

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan 

To: Ds's Teacher

CC: Principal

"Dear DS's Teacher,

Why did you send me this information? Sincerely Oceanbaby"

[Belia]

I think it sounds fine.

[HollyBearsMom]

ignore, ignore, ignore!

I *know* it is really hard to do but honestly it is your best course of action.  If they have already labeled you a "pain in the butt" parent than your email back will just reinforce it and now they have a paper trail which will become part of your child's file.

If you really want to address it schedule another meeting to talk about it face to face. I know you don't want to open that dialogue but you will get your point across more clearly.  

sucks, doesn't it??  

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

ignore, ignore, ignore!

I *know* it is really hard to do but honestly it is your best course of action.  If they have already labeled you a "pain in the butt" parent than your email back will just reinforce it and now they have a paper trail which will become part of your child's file.

If you really want to address it schedule another meeting to talk about it face to face. I know you don't want to open that dialogue but you will get your point across more clearly.  

sucks, doesn't it??  

I have to agree with that.
 

[tatermom]

Is there any chance that this was sent to all the parents (maybe as a blind CC)?  We get forwards about parenting classes like that all the time.  Or maybe she was just awkwardly trying to help?  I read your other thread and I can see you are having a very frustrating time with the school, and I'd be pissed at too if I were you!  I'm just not sure how sending an aggressive reply would help in this case, and maybe it would be better to step back and see what the teacher's motives really are.  It would be far better to get your teacher on your side in dealing with these issues instead of continuing to butt heads with her, if at all possible. JMO.  Good luck with dealing with the school, I really hope it gets better for your son!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by tatermom 

Is there any chance that this was sent to all the parents (maybe as a blind CC)? 

See that's what I was hoping. "why did you send me this?" lets the teacher explain that it is something being sent to all parents at which point you can delete it and move on. If she replies that it was something she thought you needed, then you can react based on that.

[oceanbaby]

Well, she used my name addressing me in the email.  And it wasn't sent to her normal "all parents" group email.

I simply emailed her back and said "Ds is not a high needs child."  That's all I really care that she understands right now.  Both dh and I would like to say a lot more, but we refrained. 

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby 

Well, she used my name addressing me in the email.  And it wasn't sent to her normal "all parents" group email.

Well, that's clear enough.
 

"I simply emailed her back and said "Ds is not a high needs child."  That's all I really care that she understands right now.  Both dh and I would like to say a lot more, but we refrained. "

 

Excellent.

[Lisa1970]

I think you were fine in your response.

[big-mama]

That teacher sounds like a total UAV.

[MattBronsil]

Send back information on workshops of how to be a good teacher.