Mixed feelings about being a SAHM

[McGucks]

I have been a public school teacher for almost two decades and am taking a year or two off to be a SAHM to our almost 10 month old.  I have an older son (age 15) whose dad stayed home with him for the first year (ex-husband), but I spent every summer with him, so I thought I sort of knew what I was getting into with the SAHM business; however, I was totally unprepared for how difficult this all would be for me.  Some days I feel like I am just not good at this.  I know I am so lucky and so many WOHM would sell their soul to take my place, so I feel even guiltier.  Basically, I just had no idea how hard this would be.  I have what some might call a "spirited" little guy and I love him so much, but I just feel the need to vent a little.  My back hurts 24/7, my wrists hurt from picking him up and changing him.  Guess that's part of being an older mom.  I really don't miss teaching...that's not the issue.  I just hate it that I get frustrated with him (mainly when he does the ear-piercing screech thing...I don't deal well with that and actually raised my voice at him yesterday when he did it for the tenth time in a row even though he was getting plenty of love & attention).  People say "Oh, you're a stay at home mom!  That must be so much fun!"  and then I feel awful because I usually don't feel that way about it all.  Though I absolutely adore our baby, "fun" is not the word I would use.  DH asked me if the people that said that to me were SAHMs ever themselves (none of them were).  I keep us busy with walks with friends, mom's groups, going to the library, etc., so it's not that I am isolated...I just am kind of bummed, I guess.  My DS1 and I have been having some conflicts (mostly about grades), too, so I know that's part of it.  Am I the only one who feels like this?

[Natalie12]

I can relate. I'm having a very, very bad day with my spirited four year old today, and my poor six year old is along for the ride. . What I can say is that these days are farther and farther between each other.

You might try reading Parenting Your Spirited Child-it's been a big help to me.