Introducing the idea of being a big brother

[lonegirl]

For those of you who have more than 1 child with say a 4-5year gap how did you introduce the idea of being a big brother/sister?

I am expecting number 2 in September.  DS will be 2 months shy of 5 by then.  

Right now his main interaction with babies is at the gym play area.  His opinion, which he voices often is: mommy I hate babies, when babies are there I want to go home! I want to go to the gym that doesn''t have babies! babies cry and I hate that!

Needless to say we have been trying to explain that babies cry because they can't ask for what they want.  I remind him that if he wants something to eat he just tells me, and that babies can't use words so that is their way of communicating.  We subtly comment that if mommy and daddy had another baby that he would be the big brother and it would be his responsibilty to help teach the baby (he loves to teach), and help keep baby safe.

DS is a very bright child for his age and I want to get some good books for him to read and be read to.  Any suggestions?  He is reading at a g1+ level.  Fun pictures and fun stories are what I want to find.  Plus a simple "where babies come from" book as I am sure he will ask.

We don't plan on telling him for a few more weeks (I am only 6+1wks right now).

Thanks!!!

[lonegirl]

Has no one BTDT?

[mommariffic]

Hey! I have a 3 1/2 year old who was 2 months shy of 3 when DS was born which is a little younger than your DS but it seems they are both good at comprehending stuff so here are some of the books we used and LOVE! 

Babette Cole is one of my favorite authors and she's really brutally honest about child birth/life stuff (she's been banned from libraries..) 

The Sears library has two books on becoming a brother/sister. One is called Baby on the Way and the other is What Baby Needs

Books on being a big brother: Babies don't eat pizza, and What a Good Big Brother! (both I haven't read) 

[dahlialia]

My DD1 was 6 1/2 when DD2 was born.  When we first told her, she cried and cried LOL.  What ultimately helped was when she could visualize what her role would be (she loved to plan that when DD2 was crawling she'd build mazes for her in the living room), and also we made her a "big sister in training" t-shirt that got her a lot of positive attention about it.  And, we let her be the one to tell a lot of people.

The Dr Sears "What Baby Needs" book was the only one we really read.  We had also looked at, gee I don't remember what it was called, the great book at the library with tons of photos of what developing babies are like.  DD1 was also old enough that she loved hearing the weekly descriptions of how baby is developing.  

She also chose DD2's middle name :)

[lyterae]

DD will be 5 before baby #2 arrives. She was ecstatic over becoming a big sister, her whole focus has been on things she gets to do with the baby....

[rubidoux]

We have a 5 1/2 year age difference.  We tried to get pg for 4.5 years for the second one and Milo witnessed a lot of that and understood more than I realized.  So when I pee'd on the stick he was actually in the room (I knew it was going to be positive).  I think he was mostly happy for me.  And at the time his 3 closest friends had all just become big brothers/sisters to second babies, so I think he felt like he knew the drill.  

He was mildly excited until we found out that Augie was a boy and then he didn't want to hear anything about it.  He had his heart set on a girl.  He wouldn't even look at u/s pics after that.  But from the moment Augie was born he's felt pretty good about it and has been such a sweet big brother.  I think there are always some growing pains, but it has gone really well.  I think the large age difference has helped.

eta:  I don't know of any good books on this subject, but I loved watching Charlie and Lola with Milo.  It's one of my favorite kids shows and I love the relationship between them (bro and sister).  It sure makes being a big brother look like an important job.  :)