I'm posting anonymously because this is all very private information. Please respect that and keep it private even if you can guess who I am.
I've had my FS for his whole life. He was drug-exposed and after birth and his mother left the hospital without him. She has some mental illness, drug addiction, and criminal history. Her other children are also in the system and they have been TPRed. Both his bio mom and dad are AWOL. Grandma would take him but she can't fulfill CPS's requirements (can't pass a drug test or something). Auntie doesn't want to get involved.
No one has come forward for over a year. No visitation at all. Nothing. No one wanted my FS.
I've always thought I would adopt my FS. There's someone lined up to adopt two of the other children and someone else interested in adopting the oldest two. Only one child did not have an adoptive placement. I considered him, but you'll see why I decided against that if you keep reading. I've offered to adopt my FS and two of his siblings after feeling pressured by case workers. I don't want to disrupt the other placements, but those people aren't as bonded to the children as I am to my FS; they've only had the kids for a couple months.
But now there is a fictive kin who wants to adopt all these children. CPS has cleared her and now she's getting preference for adoption over me (and the other adoptive parents) even though she's never met my FS and isn't biologically or legally related to him. The system prefers her because she would "keep the children together". (Even though my FS barely even knows his siblings and has only met them a couple times.)
This woman already has 2 children. So if she adopts my FS and his siblings she will have 8. And she's a single mom. And the siblings are not old enough to drive. Only one is old enough to legally babysit. 5 of these kids are age 6 and under. I'm worried that my FS will be neglected in a house so full of children with only one parent.
What's worse is that 2 of my FS's siblings have been sexually abusive to other children! One molested/raped his younger brother. That younger brother (the one who doesn't have an adoptive home lined up) molested another younger child. I'm worried my FS will be abused.
My FS is still with me but it's looking like he will not stay with me. If he is taken away from me I feel like I won't be able to do this again. I am so angry, so hurt, so frustrated, so worried... The only way I can handle it is by going into denial and just acting like everything is fine. But it's not!
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you deal with it? What was the outcome?