I am so angry, so hurt, so frustrated, so worried... - Page 3

[swd12422]

CONGRATULATIONS!! So happy to see this.
 

[SpottedFoxx]

Anon - we need more parents in the world like you.   If I ever met you in person, I'd just have to give you a big hug.  Kudos to you for sticking it out and fighting for your son.  I wish your family peace and happiness - you deserve it!

[lauren]

Wa-hoo!!!
 

[FLFosterMom]

What fantastic news!!  Congratulations to your family.

[Smithie]

Yeehah!

I needed to revisit this thread. Thanks for updating. We are at the beginning of a long legal slog to adopt our 8 y.o. foster son, and I suspect I will get just as angry and frustrated as you were in January - and be just as happy in the end.

[heatherdeg]

So happy for you!!! Congratulations!

[saralm]

Congratulations!  I am so happy to see hope in a case like this!
 

[hercinetom]

Guest,

I'm so sorry for you and for your FS.  It's so unfair to you and horribly unfair to him.  The only thing I can suggest is to ask if he can have an advocate through the court; someone to legally represent him in the court system.  I think you might be able to hire an attorney.

[anon-a-mom]

Hercinetom, we did hire a lawyer and went to court multiple times and won. This was my update:

Originally Posted by anon-a-mom 

He's adopted! We finalized!

The other 5 children have not finalized. Not sure if they will ever get permanency. There are rumors of more legal drama with bio family and fictive kin.

For the record, this case has been on-going since 2004! That means the oldest of these kids has been involved with fostercare for EIGHT years! It's very clear to me now that these kids don't get a real chance at permanency unless someone outside the system goes to battle for them - and doesn't quit.

In the meantime, biomom had more kids and they were removed from her as well. Now she has 8 kids in the system. Again, these new kids are testing our state's idiotic law that never bothered to clearly define "sibling" because these kids are part of one "sibling group" defined as having the same biomom and another "sibling group" defined as having the same bio dad. And as usual, the people they actually live with and trust aren't legally considered family.

Anyway, we adopted our son and we're so happy for that. He's truly thriving and now for him the sky's the limit! We are so lucky to get to parent him. He's truly a blessing.

So to recap, we won in court and got to adopt our son (instead of having him moved to another foster home). He's doing great and we're over the moon in love with him.

But nothing about the system has changed. In fact, there are more kids in this family now and our son is the only one with permanency. He's the only kid - out of 8 ranging from infant to teen - who has lived in one home since birth. The only one. All the rest have been in at least two different foster homes, most of those kids have been in 4 or more. And he's the only one who has been adopted, despite multiple prospective adoptive parents wanting to adopt these children.