or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Multicultural Families › DD screams bloody murder when I try to comb her hair
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

DD screams bloody murder when I try to comb her hair

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

My dd is 2 years and 2 months - he is half white and half African so she has tightly curly hair.


I always comb it when she is in the bath so I can load it up with conditioner and she can be distracted with her bath toys.  I'm never able to get it fully combed out because she screams/fights so she always wears it in pigtails.

she will start screaming and pushing my hands away as soon as I try to take the hair bands out before I have even done anything.


There are days when she plays happily and lets me comb it, so I know it's not unbearably painful.  But lately it's been an incredible struggle and I'm never even able to get her whole head combed out so that makes the problem even worse because it gets so tangled.


I am seriously considering cutting it super short but I love her hair and especially the way it looks in pigtails.  she never screams when I am actually putting her hair up after bath, just when she's in the bath.


I've thought about trying to change up the routine and comb her hair at another time but I really don't think I could do it without massive amounts of conditioner.


Today I cut some of it that was a little longer but kept it long enough to get it into pigtails, I am hoping that might help but I'm not too hopeful.



post #2 of 9

My hair is a very different texture from my daughter's hair.  My suggestion is to get a good book.  I like   

"It's all good hair: the guide to styling and grooming black children's hair"  by Michelle Collison and "Kinki Kreations: A parent's guide to Natural Black hair care for kids" by Jenna Renee Williams.


I found taking care of her hair a nightmare when she was little and for a long time resorted to keeping it cut short.  I found investing in good hair products and getting advice from people with similar hair invaluable.

post #3 of 9

I am white, so I don't know whether this helps, but my hair tangles very easily. My mother always used a detangler when combing my hair..This can be done anywhere and it always made my hair very easy to comb. In fact, I still use one today.

post #4 of 9

My DSD is biracial (black and white) and has kinky curly hair.  It gets VERY tangled, probably a lot like your DD's.  What I do is wet it and drench it with conditioner while she's in the bath.  Then I get her out and drape a towel over her shoulders and comb it.  Leaving the conditioner in helps define the curls and keep the frizz in check.  Then the next day I just wet my hands and use my fingers to get out any tangles.  This way we can go longer between washings (which helps with the dryness).


ETA: There's a line of products called Mixed Chicks that's supposed to be really good.  I haven't tried it yet, because regular drug-store conditioner been working for us right now.

post #5 of 9

I second Mixed Chicks and also Carol's Daughter.  You have to moisturize or use detangler.  Combing the curls creates 1. pain and 2. frizzy hair.  The curly nature of the kids' hair does not lend itself to traditional methods of combing and brushing.  Also, start from the bottom and work your way up.  Combing from the top down is impossible!

post #6 of 9

Try finger detangling first - it will cause less breakage and LESS PAIN!!


Before you cut it short, I would strongly suggest seeking out some advice at a local salon and/or checking out some online sites like:



or the yahoo group: adoptionhair_skincare (I think that is it)


I found one of my girls just does not like hair time during the evening bath....if I am going to detangle her hair while in the bath (which works for so many reasons), it has to be earlier in the day for her to be okay with it. Go figure - I guess we all have our things!


Good luck! Ask lots of questions and be patient with yourself....


post #7 of 9

Oh, naturallycurly.com is good resource too.

post #8 of 9
post #9 of 9
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Multicultural Families
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Multicultural Families › DD screams bloody murder when I try to comb her hair