Almost 4 year old wakes at night.

[flower01]

I dont exactly know what I'm asking.  Everyone I know IRL, has strict bedtime routines and their kids are never allowed in bed with them.  My almost 4 year old has had her own room with her own bed for about a year now. We never forced her into it...just introduced her to it and kind of let her start sleeping in it on her own.  She desires to sleep in her own bed, however she is a terrible sleeper. It takes FOREVER  for her to fall asleep.  Then when she is finally asleep, she  wakes in the middle of the night. and comes to our family bed.  The problem is that we're pretty squished...my son (15 months is starting to really take up more room) and I dont think he sleeps well when he doesn't have enough room.  I would like to be able to welcome my DD to lay on a mattress next to our bed. The problem is that she really isn't coherent. She practically sleep walks to our bed. We can't just put her back to her bed...we've tried and she just keeps coming back. If I do put a mattress next to ours,  I just don't know how to get her to understand to lay on the mattress.  I don't want her to feel punished, there just isn't enough room for all four of us anymore.

I hear other parents talk about discipline methods for night training.  Supernanny says to just keep putting them back to bed and ignoring them. But, my DD isn't being defiant, she's asleep.

[Imagining]

DS is 4 1/2 and only recently has been sleeping through the night most nights...  The great thing at this age is that you can really talk to them about what the plan is, and hopefully eventually it will be ingrained enough to become a new habit even when they're half asleep at night.  What if you explain to her that the mattress will be her space in your room, and when she comes into your bed just keep redirecting her to the mattress.  Maybe she'll eventually get to the point where she just comes and crawls right onto the mattress.  Best of luck!

[sugarlumpkin]

My 4 year old wakes in the night and comes to get in bed with us too. I love having him in bed and snuggling while we sleep, but there really isn't room for him. I don't mind when he comes early in the morning (say, 4:30 or 5:00 or so) but when he comes at 12:30 or 1:00, well, I have to go sleep in another bed. This goes in phases and right now we are in the middle of a phase with lots of need to be close. In fact, he woke up after being sung and held to sleep (like every night) at his bedtime (about 8:00 or so) and got into our bed before I came upstairs (at 11:00 or so). I have been sleeping in the guest room for the past couple nights and I expect I will chose to do so again tonight. I have talked with my son about this lots of times but what he says is that he wakes up because he feels lonely, because there is no one else in bed with him. I can understand how this would make him feel lonely, and I want to continue to allow him to come to our bed but at the same time, well, I'm tired! What can I do? Just wait for this phase to fade again?

[Alyantavid]

I'd try setting up a little spot/mattress for her on the floor.  Do this during the day when she's actually awake and maybe you can lay by her for a minute when she comes in to get her settled.

My kids both still come into our bed, not every night though, at they're almost 9 and 4.5.