bad homeschooling?????

[tomjon]

does anyone have any bad homeschooling experiences and/or difficulties that they encountered but did not expect???? I have not found out any information that is negative or scary since we have considered it (homeschooling) and we find it hard to believe that it is sooooo perfect or everyone would do it?????

thanks,

tomjon

[Openskyheart]

I think homeschooling would be bad - awful really, for a family that didn't really want to do it.

IMHO, successful homeschooling requires at least one parent who really enjoys being with his/her kids - a lot. A parent who enjoys exploring their children's interests with them, and who is relatively patient and creative will do fine.

The people I know of who have not felt that homeschooling was successful for their families are those who "schooled-at-home." That is, they followed a complete school curriculum to the letter at home. I've known of several of these families who burned out, and now their kids are back in school.

[tricia80]

Its not always 100% great all the time.... i jus started homeschooling dd in jan... and its been great... obviously a few off days here and there but thats to be expected... i was told by her kindergarten teacher and stuff she was slow and etc etc..but now she is reading and loves learning... and im not that creative but theres lots of resources out there online and in stores to help with the creative stuff... :LOL

[Jen123]

My personal experience is that the positive side of homeschooling is that the children are with me 24/7. I can influence their every step if that's my desire. Or I can sit back and guide as they freely discover the world around them.

The downside is that my children are with me 24/7. We get on each other's nerves at least once every couple of weeks. There are DAYS when due to weather or lack of transportation we are stranded at home. Alone. Just the four of us. Together. Driving. Each. Other. Slowly. Insane.

The up times , the fun, the playtime , the swings , the laughter , the joy in their faces at discovering new things is definitely worth the down times of getting irritated with one another. The up times of your children being best friends with each other pays for those times when they snap at each other.

In my opinion homeschooling works best when all parties involved agree on the hs'ing philosophy.

[clothcrazymom]

I think we all have our times!

Mostly whenever things have gotten stressed for us...if I take a good look...it's usually because I'm allowing outside pressures to get to me.

I can distinctly remember driving down the road one day when my oldest was about 6-7 and thinking...this is just SOOOO hard, WHY am I doing this? I could be doing so many other things! Then it dawned on me that if things were hard and I didn't like the way things were going, the only one I had to blame was MYSELF. If we weren't having fun....it truly was my problem. At that moment I realized that I was making things so much harder than they needed to be and that I had turned it all into work.

Let's just say that in the 8 or so years since....we've had soooo much more fun and things are way better. We still have our struggles. But really...if it's awful or stressful or no fun or whatever negative thing you can think of...it's our own doing!

I think it's really important to stay as flexible as possible and realize that what works today (or this year or this age or whatever) may not tomorrow. And it's always best to go with what works best at any given time

And I would agree that I think it does work best when all immediate family members are aligned on the same philosophy.

[clothcrazymom]

One more thing...about the part about if it were so perfect then everyone would be doing it.

It definitely takes a very strong commitment to our children. And it takes being willing to really be responsible for our children's learning (ok I think the children are actually the ones responsible for their own learning...but that's another conversation) Not everyone is willing to take on such a commitment or the responsibility.

I think it takes a strong, independent person who is willing to stand up for what they believe in, to be willing to take it on.

There are those that will deal with negative feedback from family and/or friends and stupid comments. That's never been a real issue for us. For one thing...we don't really care what they would have to say and for another we don't really give them the opportunity to give their input. But I think that you will find that this does come up often. There are many homeschoolers that will talk about having a hard time dealing with what others have to say about what they are doing.

[ekblad9]

I have definately had those moments when I daydream about the kids running off to school and me sipping tea at the kitchen table before doing my yoga. Then I snap out of it and think of pushing them to get up in the morning, screaming at them to get out the door, packing lunches, permission slips, homework, etc. I'm far to lazy for that :LOL I have never gone so far as to think that I really wanted to send them to school. I love having them here most of the time. I feel so close to them. Even when I had severe PPD after my last baby was born I never wanted them to go to school.

[lizzie]

I think a lot of people don't actually know or believe that there are people who do this successfully all over the country, and THAT is why they don't do it. It's sort of like everthing else in 'Mothering', if you're not looking for it, you're not going to find it! (homebirth, ebf, cd, natural living info and options...etc etc) It requires an effort to educate yourself and then allow the paradigm shift required from the life you thought you and your children were going to lead. Then after you do that, you have the other paradigm shift, where you realize it's not only possible, it's the best choice for your family, and you can find ways to do what works for your child within the laws.

That having been said, I do have a sort of *bad* hsing experience to report. My mother and little brother had a heck of a time, to say it mildly. Mom is WAY 'type A', but only when it comes to schooling. She has to have 'A''s. My little brother is extremely emotional, reactive, and not confident. He started PS as late as my mom could legally allow, and actually dropped out of his first round of kindergarten. *Kindergarten* stressed him out.

So after 3-4 years of private parochial (but not too crazy) school, which had him 'falling farther and farther behind' Mom pulled him out and tried to HS him. I guess, technically, she was HSing him. But, going back to Type A Mom, she had to have a 'school at home' environment, had to have a specific curriculum (Lord only knows how many of those she bought, or how much money she wasted), she didn't deschool him, she insisted on complete mastery of subjects before he moved on, (the standard she holds herself to) and in my little brother's brain, the panic he must have been feeling at failing my mother had to be overwhelming.

Another big part of the problem was Mom's fearfulness regarding gov't and CPS type involvement. She felt like she had to have every little t crossed and i dotted. She either refused to believe or simply couldn't see the learning issues my brother had. He is a slow and painful reader and writer. When he writes something, it's like he's carving in wood with a dull knife. It hurts for me to watch, as I clearly could go on for hours, with either pen, pencil or keyboard. I love writing and reading. If I could only have lent my brother a little of that!!

I think the two HUGE mistakes Mom made were: (with our 20/20 hindsight, we've gone over this together) 1) Not making the effort to research all the different 'schools' of homeschool that would have allowed her to make that shift in her thinking that allowed things like deschooling, unschooling, curricula free approaches that would have served my little brother better.. and 2) Doing so much of it ALONE. She didn't know any other HSers. She failed to really commit to the local group, for various reasons, and then didn't seek out a replacement. She didn't have a computer, much less a brilliant forum like this to learn from. Her focus was so narrow and her hopes were so high.

In the end, after going through several nightmares I won't delve into here, (including a foray into Public high school) my little brother found out at 20 that he is ADD (I think legitimately) and is on a medication that has had a profoundly wonderful impact on his life and ability to hold on to a job he enjoys. He doesn't have any type of diploma, and is still so hateful of tests that tell him who he is academically he may never get his GED, although I know he could do it.

For all of that, I don't think he would have been any better off in any schools he would have gone to, with the possible exception that they may have been able to identify his ADD sooner. But would Mom have listened? Would she have allowed him to take that medication? I'm guessing no! And my mother is still our biggest fan in regards to our decision to HS our two little ones. She still believes it's the best thing for children.

*sorry this is SO long*

lizzie

[SagMom]

Re: bad homeschooling?????

Originally posted by tomjon
does anyone have any bad homeschooling experiences and/or difficulties that they encountered but did not expect????
tomjon

the thing is, if you're having a bad or difficult time of it, you can just change what you're doing. Because you don't need to fit in to the school's methods or schedules or ways of doing things, and you don't need to consult with teachers and principals, you can just do what works for you and throw out what doesn't.

makes it hard to fail, yk?

[Openskyheart]

the thing is, if you're having a bad or difficult time of it, you can just change what you're doing. Because you don't need to fit in to the school's methods or schedules or ways of doing things, and you don't need to consult with teachers and principals, you can just do what works for you and throw out what doesn't.

This is such an important point, Joan. We have tweaked and changed what we're doing a lot during our homeschooling odyssey.

[Valerie.Qc]

Bad experience? Things I didn't expect?

Well, when I look back at our first year of homeschooling (it's our 5th year now) I seriously wonder how I could have choose to go for a second year DD went to school until the end of second grade and she was completely crushed when I decided, after trying to get the school to help, to try homeschooling.

I cried almost every night My DD, once triving for learning, didn't want to do any work, read any book, go for any field trip Even being polite was to much to ask : I let her deschooled but it was hard because everyone around us were looking and wishing that I send her back to school - HS was way to strange for OUR family

I guess I'm really stubborn

[CerridwenLorelei]

today was bad

On top of my other lovely stuff ( and If I hear you shouldn't homeschool because of your illnesses you know -insert whatever reason)
I have costochondrotis spend a lovely er/dr filled last several days
Today has gone from bad to hell
one teen who went ballistic ( re yelling ) over a miscommunication about trips
one little one who thinks his hand will fall off if he writes one line of letters and proceeded to act like the way marilyn manson looks
and thus making the rest of the day topsy nutty
plus we missed his music class
preteen daughter convinced that i hate all 11 years of her ( WHERE IS HER MIDOL?`) and has proceeded to argue with me AFTER her brother and I told her to just stop it
so now the chest that was feeling a bit better hurts like hades again
I can't find information I should have already had
so back to the ick allopathic stuff earlier than planned
The dog woke up the neighbor who daysleeps when he is home-though it is ok that their parties last all night when they have them lol
I have gotten nothing done but what little I could do this morning
and sitting here on the laptop when I should have been writing or journaling

So there you go bad homeschool day -though some very very good did happen today

[Claudette]

does anyone have any bad homeschooling experiences and/or difficulties that they encountered but did not expect????

I think we all have things we didn't expect... I, for one, have two very energetic boys who seem to have outgrown our house. I we spend more than one half day are home, we all become a bit ferral...

However, and I think this has a lot to do with you only hearing about "the good stuff", most everyone who homeschools CHOSE to do so. In choosing to homeschool, most of us have chosen to take on not only the responsibility of our kids in our care 24/7 (except for the out of house activities with others), but also the disapproval of soooo many people, including family, strangers and political bodies (I dont' include friends because a friend would at least try to understand our perspective and not judge us personally on what we do)...

THEREFORE, we have a vested interest in having people see our good bits, we have bad bits, but if we dare reveal these to anyone other than understanding and compassionate friends and others, we offer ammunition to the nay-sayers... Who wants to hear, "See, see! I told you it wouldn't work, that you couldn't handle it, that the kids can't handle it!!!"

For THOSE people, it is totally acceptable that their kids have problems with school, but totally unacceptable that we or our kids should have any off day, dyswim?

Anyway, because many of us CHOSE to homeschool, we prefer to look at things in a positive light, and even the bad days (as few as they are, or we wouldn't continue to homeschool) have positives, they show us what isn't working, what we can do differently, they're another opportunity to learn, and to show our kids how to problem solve