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New Thoughts on Sharing Time Off?

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Okay, I know I had mentioned before (I think in the parenting agreement thread) about NCP taking turns with CP about calling out of work when kids are sick... and someone mentioned it should really all fall to the CP because it's part of the deal...



Here's the situation.  Both of my kids have medical things going on.  DD was diagnosed with asthma last month and is suffering a lot of secondary sinus infections due to that with allergies.  Anytime she is running a fever, I have to call out of work.


DS is a preemie and at high risk for respiratory issues.  He was just hospitalized this past weekend with pneumonia. (he is doing okay now, came home Sunday night, still sick, but is able to be home)... but docs told me straight out he is at high risk to end up in the hospital pretty much everytime he gets sick, which will be often the first few years of life. 


I have already exhausted nearly a week's PTO time and we are only on the third week of the year.  I only have 3 weeks PTO a year.  I have zero FMLA time left because of being out with pre-e, and then the "maternity" part of that time, and some extra time since DS was in the NICU. 


I had a meeting today with HR to see if there were any other accomodations for someone in my position... because basically once my PTO time is gone (which I forsee happening by the end of the stupid cold season)... I will lose my job with only a couple more call-offs.  There is no way two weeks is going to be enough PTO time to get me to next year at the rate I'm having to use it for my kids.


HR flat out said it's still an attendance issue, regardless of circumstance and they have already terminated people in my situation.  Lovely....


If I lose my job, I have no way to pay my bills.  I'm searching for various telecommute jobs now, but nothing is really popping up. 


I just am not sure what to do here... If STBX and I were still married... we'd take turns calling off work... so why should it be different now? 


I know I've waffled back and forth about keeping my job or not, but I'm solidly in the camp of wanting to keep it at the moment because of how crappy the job climate is.  I'm really afraid of not being able to find a job again if I lose this one.


Thoughts?  Ideas?

post #2 of 4

Talk to stbx and see if he's willing to help.  Make it clear that you are willing to alternate days, but you need help.  It's a hard balance to strike.


Also - doesn't FMLA start over at the beginning of the year - meaning 12 unpaid weeks off every year???  It should start over - and last years should not hurt you now.


Also, post over in working/student parents to seek advice of other working moms as far as telecommute jobs.  Telecommuting certainly isn't easy with sick littles, and there will be times you need days off from that too.


ETA - can you also look for mildy sick childcare for your dd?  You should be able to find somwhere that will take her if all she's doing is running a slight fever - maybe someone you know that doesn't have a job but needs some extra income (not someone with kids, don't want to pass the germs too much)??  IDK...good luck!!

post #3 of 4

FMLA usually goes by a rolling calender. So she would have more by this time next year.. or whenever it was you went back from maternity leave.

Is he still working nights? He wouldn't even have to call out necessarily right? He could have them in the morning and you could maybe get off early instead of calling in?

Maybe you could find a Grandma with no grand kids who wouldn't mind watching them when sick? That is the problem of center care as opposed to in home, you get away with a lot less in this way. My son often goes to the babysitters with runny noses and coughs, even low grade temps that would never be aloud at the preschool.

post #4 of 4

A divorced coworker of mine splits that time with his ex-wife; they have 50/50 but she's still considered the CP. He will take the first day and she does the second, or whatever works best for the schedules of all parties concerned. They hate each other, BTW, but they're doing what's best for their kid.

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