I do not consider him a "mean kid." I just used that as a concise title for the post so people would get the drift. I think he's a normal 9 yo, based on other 9 yos I've known. I've known him to be a very nice kid when my DS wasn't bothering him (before DS was mobile). But I think he finds a 2 yo annoying, which I totally understand.
Unfortunately, there IS a secret, at least that's how it seems to me. I have had a LOT of trouble with talking about sensitive subjects like this. I have been told I lack tact. I have worked on this a lot over the years, but it is a constant struggle with me, and I hurt people's feelings frequently, and I literally have no idea why they're upset until someone else explains it to me, and sometimes not even then. Luckily, I have a few friends who know about this problem I have, and are willing to talk situations out with me to help me understand what I've done to hurt other people. Even when I say the EXACT same words as someone else, when it comes from me, it comes out hurtful, though I don't intend it that way. I've had hours-long conferences with coworkers & managers to discuss disagreements we've had, and in the end, no one had any brilliant pointer for what exactly I did "wrong", and the hurt party hugged me at the end of one meeting, and it totally blew my mind. I still don't know why she was upset or what exactly prompted the meeting that kept us after work for a few hours. That said, I know what types of conversations lead to this kind of situation, and I try and head them off by talking about it before-hand, and finding out how to broach the subject, or by avoiding them altogether. Since this is the leader's son, I feel like I'll be having a lot of interaction with her, so I want to be sure there are no bruised feelings, particularly since there's no one in this situation that can moderate my way through it.
Originally Posted by journeymom
LDSmomma, I guess I take exception with you for calling the other woman's child a mean kid. Maybe he is being mean. But your perception is one-sided, and I think you should be open to another perspective of him. He's also just a kid.
Of course the children at this meeting need better supervision, that really shouldn't need to be stated. Of course the boy's mother needs to keep a better eye on him, regardless of his basic nature (mean or not mean). You asked, what's a diplomatic way to broach the subject with the mom?? There is no secret, you just talk to her. Politely and firmly inform her exactly what you have observed. Use your experience from the daycare, because surely there were occasional instances where parents needed to be told that their child had misbehaved. Her reaction will tell you what your next step should be.