flying alone with a 1 yr old - buy an extra seat and bring his carseat?

[skfmama]

(cross posted in life with a babe)

I've never flown with my son before and we'll be making our first trip right around his 1 yr birthday. It'll be a 3.5 hr trip on Southwest, and I'll be by myself with him.

I'm trying to decide whether I want to pay the $200+ for an extra seat for him and mess with carrying the carseat around, when I'm not sure he'll sit in it. The flight is in the afternoon, so I'm hopeful that he'll sleep through some of it, but I doubt he'll sleep 3.5 hrs.

We're definitely bringing the carseat bc we'll need it at our destination...I'm just trying to decide if it'll be worth it to get the extra seat and use it on the flight. (We are not getting an extra seat on the way home - I won't be by myself so we'll play pass the baby)

Any thoughts? We have a Britax Roundabout, so it's pretty big. Any rec's on car seat bags that would help carry it in the airport and/or protect it if we check it? It has a backpack option, I think, but I was planning on wearing DS on my front in the Ergo and have a backpack as a diaperbag/carryon.

DS is a pretty active little guy...I expect him to be walking by then. I don't know how excited he'll be to stay on my lap the whole time if he's awake...but then again he's not a fan of hanging out in his carseat for long periods of time while he's awake too.

Thanks for the feedback and tips!

[KJunebug]

If you are going SW, I would risk not buying the ticket.  Since they do open seating, if there are any empty seats on the plane, he could just sit in his own chair.  I figure no one is going to purposefully ask you to put him in your lap to sit beside you and a cramped baby.  I just ask the flight attendant when I fly SW if there are empty seats, and when there is, I have NEVER had trouble getting it to be the one my kid is in.  Does this make sense?  Any other airline, and I would give you different advice.

I would check the car seat either way, especially if you are alone.  You do not want to have to manage that thing in the airport alone with a toddler.  I have flown a lot with my now 2 year old, and the airport was always much harder than the plane.  Minimize the stuff you are carrying.

That said, how bad would it be if you had to hold him? I hate to have you gamble on the empty seat and end up wrong.....  I had to hold my daughter once for a leg of a journey when she was 21 months.... it wasn't that bad, and the other 3 legs it worked out she just got the free seat.

[mkksmom]

Here was the deciding factor for me: If you fly with a lap toddler, which is allowed but not recommended, and there is any trouble extreme turbulence, the plane is going down, etc., you will have to put your child on the floor by your feet. That is the safest place for him. If that is the safest place in an emergency for a lap baby, then it's worth the extra money and hassle to me to know my child is safe in her seat. Now, add that to the fact that even if you gate check the car seat, you still have to carry it around and they are not known for being kind to checked seats.

Having said all that, we did fly without a seat with my dd when she was 2 and had to have her own seat anyhow. I let some moms convince me because we didn't need a seat at all for the trip once we landed. Ugh! It was so annoying that we ended us going back to the car seat when she was 3 and vowed never again with any future kids will we fly without the car seat. She couldn't get comfortable, the seatbelt was way to big on her. She wanted to climb all over.

To make it easier, we bought a very lightweight scenera for under $50 and that is our travel car seat. There is also a strap which you can use to hook the seat on to a rolling carry on but we haven't tried it. I kept my toddler in her seat with snacks. She was 11 months old, and I just kept the snacks coming. That and random objects like cookie cutters that she could check out.

[globe-trotter]

Once mobile and a flight longer than 2 hrs... I say its worth the ticket. We are very frequent travelers (his first flight was 2 weeks old)...and once he was walking...YIKES the game changed. We also have a Britax roundabout and I haven't flown and airline it didn't fit on.

[staryla]

One thing I have heard about checking carseats is that you have no idea what kind of rough handling they are getting.  Anyone who has ever watched those baggage handlers fling bags around and throw heavy bags on top of other bags may cringe when thinking of a checked carseat.  I would never use a carseat that had been in a car accident, and I might heisitate to use one that had been through baggage handling either.

Here is a link to the strap that I think another poster was talking about.  http://www.amazon.com/Traveling-Toddler-Seat-Travel-Accessory/dp/B000JHN3AS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1295458617&sr=8-1 It's only $14 and has good reviews.  Seems like an easy way to carry a carseat through an airport and if the kiddo ends up getting a ride along the way that's just an added bonus.

I know lots of parents think a carseat on an airplane is useless because in the event of a crash it wouldn't do much good. Well I've never been in an airplane crash, but I have been in some pretty rough turbulence and if that were to happen when traveling with my son I would much rather he be securely strapped into a carseat than flung about in someone's arms.  I also had a discussion with an engineer in the aerospace field who firmly told me that all children of any age should be in a carseat and never in a lap.  The example he gave that has really stuck with me is that if you were to get flung around the seat, than any lap child effectively functions as the adult's airbag. 

[mattemma04]

When I took my dd to Turkey at at 14mo I bought a seat for her. It  was 3 planes there and 3 back. I had no issues what so ever with her whining and not staying in her seat. The only time I let her walk was to the bathroom for a diaper change. I might have let her stand a few times in her seat. I used  the same  britax car seat front facing.Carried it and installed it in all the planes .  I was happy that I was let on the plane before most people. I had a HUGE backpack,carseat,stroller,and dd. That was 10 years ago so I am sure rules have changed on what you can take on a plane.

I think your child will do fine in the seat for 3.5 hours. Take some snacks,juice boxes,bubbles,playdough.Whatever you think will keep him happy in his seat. I saw parents letting their children run up and down the isles.I don't feel that is appropriate or safe,but some parents do that.

[gozal]

We are an international family so I have lots of experience traveling alone with my child at different ages, often flights 10 hours +. (I also have a lot of patience for it!) In my opinion, it is not worth it to pay for a seat for under-2 even for long trips. (For us,that extra seat is a significant part of the cost of another trip to see family and that is far more important, though that might not be the case for you.) When we travel with the carseat, we never board it, even now that we're required to buy our child a seat. The less you are carrying, the better. Because we travel often we bought an inexpensive 2nd/travel seat which is much lighter than our regular-use Britax. You can buy a cheap travel bag with a long strap for it at BRU and similar stores. That carry strap is nice to have if you are traveling alone. Or, the airline will often bag it for you. All airlines I've flown claim to top-load carseats (put them on last, on top of the other luggage). I obviously have no way of verifying that this is true but our seat usually comes out early on the baggage carousel.

Our usual procedure when I am traveling alone with our son is to pack 1 suitcase, 1 small carry-on bag, the carseat, and the kiddo in the Ergo carrier. I have someone help me check the suitcase and stroller, then I walk through security with my son in the carrier. I get there without much time to spare and if at all possible walk straight onto the plane and don't take him out of the Ergo till we're in our seat. Then someone comes to meet me in the baggage claim, if possible. (In some airports baggage pick-up is before the customs/greeting area). At most I have my son strapped to me, purse over one shoulder, rolling suitcase in one hand, dragging the carseat in the other.

Just a quick word about what happens in turbulence and other safety situations that can happen in flight. This is a matter of personal comfort level, of course. My experience is that after a lifetime of relatively frequent flying, I have only encountered bad turbulence 2-3 times and an emergency landing procedure once (the flight attendants had no idea what to do, obviously encountering it for the first time themselves). Personally I would not spend many thousands of dollars buying an extra seat and dragging a carseat on board for the reassurance. In the event of something unusual, I am pretty sure both my son and I would want me to be holding him. Again, a very personal decision that you yourself need to feel comfortable with.

Have fun on your trip! I bet the traveling part will be easier than you think!

[tnh2007]

I flew with my ds when he was 18 months and did not purchase another seat.  I kept him awake and active at the airport and then he pretty much slept on the planes.  I even had to ride a tiny prop plane as a connection and he did great.  I did hear someone talking about ear issues with their lo when flying.  DS had tubes so the pressure change did not bother him, but you might look into that.  Have fun and enjoy your trip!

[ananas]

I wouldn't purchase another seat. 

[nukuspot]

We've flown multiple times with DD who is 21 months.  Overseas, to Hawaii, to the East coast, etc.  We've never bought another seat for her, though we do ask at the gate if there are any rows with an empty seat.  She's been happy as possible being a "lap baby/toddler".  When she turns 2 in a few months we are forced to buy a seat for her, and I doubt she will sit in it!  So there is no way I would bring the carseat on the plane.  She doesn't like to be strapped in if there is an alternative, and she will probably be sitting on our laps or climbing on us for awhile to come.  I ALWAYS bring the boppy pillow though, and even if she doesn't nurse the whole time (though she usually does) she always falls asleep on my lap on the boppy.  I guess it's an individual thing for each child's temperment what they are going to feel good about on a plane.  It's never pleasant to travel with a toddler, but I wouldn't say it's as bad as I had originally expected when I got pregnant.

We always gate check the carseat and stroller (which we don't put the toddler in but instead use as a makeshift luggage cart in the airport) and have never had them broken or damaged in any way.

[Ruby2]

Originally Posted by nukuspot 

We've flown multiple times with DD who is 21 months.  Overseas, to Hawaii, to the East coast, etc.  We've never bought another seat for her, though we do ask at the gate if there are any rows with an empty seat.  She's been happy as possible being a "lap baby/toddler".  When she turns 2 in a few months we are forced to buy a seat for her, and I doubt she will sit in it!  So there is no way I would bring the carseat on the plane.  She doesn't like to be strapped in if there is an alternative, and she will probably be sitting on our laps or climbing on us for awhile to come.  I ALWAYS bring the boppy pillow though, and even if she doesn't nurse the whole time (though she usually does) she always falls asleep on my lap on the boppy.  I guess it's an individual thing for each child's temperment what they are going to feel good about on a plane.  It's never pleasant to travel with a toddler, but I wouldn't say it's as bad as I had originally expected when I got pregnant.

We always gate check the carseat and stroller (which we don't put the toddler in but instead use as a makeshift luggage cart in the airport) and have never had them broken or damaged in any way.

May I just say, "duh - BOPPY!!!!" Why haven't I thought of that before?!? I've flown multiple times with dd, now 13 months and she sleeps pretty much the entire time. I'm always uncomfortable, especially now that she's getting bigger. I can't wait to try the bobby - genius! Dd is always happy to sit on my lap and has never been content in her car seat. I won't take one on board until I have to, especially not while she's still nursing. My guess is that the flight attendants would make you put your child in the car seat during take off and landing if you had one with you, just like they make adults fasten their seat belts. The main reason dd is such a good traveler is because she nurses and falls asleep for most of the flight. 

[batsister]

Our 18-month-old old has flown on about a dozen round trips; I've often flown alone with him. We have never bought a seat. It is up to you regarding the risk you are willing to take regarding safety. For us, our son has always disliked the carseat (i.e., will cry/scream a lot after a little while... though he has gotten better with age), and he has done remarkably well as a "lap child." Most of our flights have only been 2 hours, but he has been on 3-4 hour flights (+ connections), too. I think part of the reason he does so well is that he knows what to expect (that he can't get up and run around, but he can eat snacks, play with stickers, play with small toys he hasn't seen for a while, look out the window, take a nap, etc.) (and we are just lucky, I am sure!).

[kcstar]

DS has flown at least 5 round trips and a one-way.  The very first time (3 weeks), we didn't buy a seat.  After that, we did.  It has worked well for us.

Southwest does offer infant fares, but you have to call the agent to ask for one.  Sometimes they are cheaper than the adult tickets, sometimes the adult tickets you find online are better deals.  It's happened both ways for us.

An infant-fare ticket will be tied to an adult ticket, and that adult cannot check in online (has to check in at the gate).  However, if a couple is travelling with an infant, the parent whose ticket is not connected to the infants ticket can check in online, and the whole family can board with the earliest ticket in the party.

Much of our early travel was with an infant, and we had a travel system, so we used his stroller to carry the carseat.

Since he's outgrown that seat, I strap the carseat onto a luggage wheel-frame.  I can even put my purse and laptop in the seat while we go, it's no more trouble than a roller-bag until we're boarding.  Usually, DH takes the carseat ahead and works on strapping it in, while DS and I schlep the rest of the luggage.  (DH does keep his backpack with him, so most of what's left is mine anyway.)

[t2009]

I always now buy a seat for DS, who is 21 mos. The first few times we flew, up until he was about 6 mos. we took him as a lap baby. It was fine, but once he was more active it was a real challenge. Yes, dragging a car seat around the airport is also a challenge, but it has it's advantages once you get it on the plane. One thing that has helped is the gogo babyz wheels. They're a little pricey but so worth it. Your LO might be a little young still, but I've also heard good things about the cares harness. I haven't used this, but I've thought about it now that DS is usually within kicking range of the seat in front of him. 

I find having the extra seat is a real comfort, even if he doesn't stay in it the entire flight (what toddler would?!). But in his car seat he's usually likely to fall asleep, sometimes before we're even airborne.

Also, the safety thing is a big influence on me. Everyone has their own comfort level, but the FAA & AAP suggest placing a child in her own seat on a plane. I know someone above mentioned that they've flown often without incident, but for me that's not enough to convince me it's ok to carry DS as a lap baby... Just because I've never been in a serious car accident doesn't mean I'm not going to but DS in the car seat every time he's in the car (I know the likelihood is much greater in a car, but I think the logic is the same). And there is no way a child is going to survive even a minor accident either on the floor OR in your arms... A parent just can't hold on that tight in a crash landing or serious turbulence. 

We also have the britax roundabout & it's awkward to get the seat belt tight enough, but I usually don't have any problems (although a flight attendant once insisted that we needed to use the seatbelt extension with the car seat, which was totally not true... I tried it & couldn't get the seatbelt tight enough, so try to kindly refuse if a well meaning flight attendant tells you the same. On another practical note, you will need to put the car seat in the window seat.

[Abraisme]

I've flown with both of my children when they were young and have never bought an extra seat.  I suppose if money isn't an issue that it might be nice, but I'd rather save the money.  In March I'm going to fly from Oregon to the Brittish Virgin Islands (13 hour flight) with a 20mo lap child.  The tickets are $$ and I'm willing the hassle to save money.

[veganfox]

I have flown with my DS multiple times (the first time when he was 5 months and the last at 18 months). I never have purchased an extra seat and he's always flown like a lap baby. Last time we flew alone was all the way to Greece and it worked just fine (30 hours of travel time). Sure it is tiring to be holding him all the time but I know he is much happier hanging out on my lap and being able to breastfeed whenever he wants than being strapped in a car seat. It's not the safest thing, but I really can't spend the money for the extra seat.

[globe-trotter]

Originally Posted by staryla 

One thing I have heard about checking carseats is that you have no idea what kind of rough handling they are getting.  Anyone who has ever watched those baggage handlers fling bags around and throw heavy bags on top of other bags may cringe when thinking of a checked carseat.  I would never use a carseat that had been in a car accident, and I might heisitate to use one that had been through baggage handling either.

Here is a link to the strap that I think another poster was talking about.  http://www.amazon.com/Traveling-Toddler-Seat-Travel-Accessory/dp/B000JHN3AS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1295458617&sr=8-1 It's only $14 and has good reviews.  Seems like an easy way to carry a carseat through an airport and if the kiddo ends up getting a ride along the way that's just an added bonus.

I know lots of parents think a carseat on an airplane is useless because in the event of a crash it wouldn't do much good. Well I've never been in an airplane crash, but I have been in some pretty rough turbulence and if that were to happen when traveling with my son I would much rather he be securely strapped into a carseat than flung about in someone's arms.  I also had a discussion with an engineer in the aerospace field who firmly told me that all children of any age should be in a carseat and never in a lap.  The example he gave that has really stuck with me is that if you were to get flung around the seat, than any lap child effectively functions as the adult's airbag. 

This strap is a PITA with a Britax roundabout.... I have tried all the car seat carrier things out there and a good old fashion bungy cord still works the best to strap it onto a roller carryon

(I never put my child in the car seat to go threw airports though, his is just in my ergo).

[elf]

 I didn't have time time read everyone's replies.  But here is my opinion.  You know your child better than anyone.  Do you have a crazy active kid that likes to please themselves or do you have a people pleaser  that really enjoys pleasing mommy therefore is not that active compared to the "crazy ones"?  THere is a HUGE difference b/t flying with a calmer personality and flying with an active personality. 

I have an active kid.  Not naughty, just ACTIVE and into pleasing herself.  It is a constant battle to keep her in check.  The flight experience I had with her at 14 months was a turning point in realizing how really kids personalities are so different from one another and for some, things like "keeping them busy and occcupied", "activity bags", "snack bags"........don't make a difference.

So, if you have an active kid, I would recommend buying an extra seat and bringing your car seat with you on the plane. 

I flew with her alone when she was 8 months old and it was perfect.  She nursed to sleep and then either slept or nursed the whole time.  I wasn't concerned at all about the next flight at 14 months.  I had everything you can imagine activity , new toy and snack-wise.  I had read every post on flying with a toddler ect.  But, in the end, only you really know what your kid is like.  She didn't ever sit on my lap at home for more than 5 minutes so why did I expect her to do it on the plane?   we ended up having an empty seat next to us on each flight but it didn't matter.  she wanted to be running up and down the aisles, jumping, singing....anything but in my lap or in her seat.  her seat belt actually snugged up pretty good on her in the empty seat but it took maybe 20 seconds for her to figure out how to unbuckle hersef.  it was an absolute nightmare---both ways. 

so ask yourself what type of kid you have.  if you have a cuddler that wants to please you the majority of the time, responds to discipline and warnings and is kind of afraid of authority---then by all means hold the child on your lap for 2-3 hrs.  but if you have a kid that is very active, really isn't afraid of anyone in terms of warnings, discipline etc and and has one of those super crazy happy active personalities.  for example:  our daughter never slept in the car.  i'm talking 10 hour car rides.  didn't cry, just always wanted to know what was going on and be a part of it.....so if you have that kid==buy the extra seat!

good luck!

[NaaNaa]

Extra seat!! - Just my opinion. :-) My DH and I flew once without one for our DS and we were miserable! It's safer and will give your child their own space in an already cramped environment. Flying solo with a wiggling toddler on your lap will also mean discomfort for whomever is sitting next to you. However, if your flight is fairly short, I don't think it would hurt to go without.

On another note, do you plan to bring a stroller? If so, check it or bring a cheap one. That thing will get tossed around and broken in a heartbeat and the waiver you sign means they are not responsible for damage.

That's my two-cents. Good luck with your flight and safe traveling!

[MaddieMay]

Buy the extra seat!  I am very conservative money-wise, but it's a priority for me.  I've done both domestic and international legs with DS (alone and with DH) and we always get an extra seat.  We have a GoGo Babyz Travelmate and a Cosco Scenera that we use as our travel car seat.  Two months ago, there was a mix up and a full flight and DS didn't get his own seat (I'm still irked, but there were no other flights to home on that airline for another three days) and we had to hold him.  It was a NIGHTMARE-for three hours we played pass the toddler.  It was awful.  From both a safety and comfort standpoint, buy the extra seat.