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Mamas w/same sex families -- how do you deal with the comments? - Page 2

post #21 of 27

I only have 1 girl & I'm already getting those comments when I tell them I'm not finding out the sex of this baby.  "Let's hope it's a boy so then you can be done!".  Ummm ok.... did I miss the memo that says 1 boy + 1 girl makes a complete set???

post #22 of 27

I have one girl and not pregnant and I'm already getting worried about this.  And honestly? I want another girl!  My husband only wants two kids so that means if we both get our way and no minds are changed, we will have two girls and my husband will be the only male in the house including our pets!  We'd both love a boy and I'd love for him to want three kids (I want two girls and then a boy, he just wants two kids gender unspecified) but this concept of needing both genders or not too many of the same in a row or even not too many period is weird to me.  as pp set, 1 boy and 1 girl doesn't necessarily complete a set.


I wonder if any big families (I'm thinking more than 6 kids, although more than 3 is big to me too hehe) had all of one gender.  Can you imagine the comments someone with 10 boys or 10 girls would get?  lawsie.

post #23 of 27
This is what I'm dreading most about this (unexpected) pregnancy. We were done at our 2 boys, and already had gone through the "hope it's a girl!" comments with our second. In my extended family, there has been ONE girl born (the oldest) and TEN boys between my brothers/cousin and I. Everyone wants another girl, and each boy that comes along is somehow not as exciting as a girl would be. It drives me crazy.
post #24 of 27
Originally Posted by msmiranda View Post

I'm offended for myself and I'm offended on behalf of my poor third son because apparently he's so uninteresting and disappointing because my other two children also have penises ... as if he's not a unique human being because of the sex of my first two kids.


If you respond with this statement then I'm positive it will not only shut them up but it will also make them use their brains (and maybe their hearts) thumb.gif

post #25 of 27

We only have DS and I've gotten so many comments about 'you want a girl' (Oh and MIL declaration it WILL be a girl) honestly...I couldn't care less before. I like boys and girls are nice to. Whatever God gives. shrug.gif


Now I almost want this to be boy just to tell people to suck it.


We also got a lot of comments when DS was born, "I bet you Dh was happy he got his boy" Um..no he actually really wanted a girl. Not that he doesn't love DS and wasn't thrilled, but he had an honest preference and mine was to have a boy, now that I've pasted on my grandfathers name I don't really care either way...Dh wants a girl eventually.

post #26 of 27

I have to admit that I chose an ethically dubious route when PG with my 3rd son:  my husband and I knew he was a boy but we chose to tell people we were having a delivery surprise.  I couldn't deal with the comments within both of our families so chose a little bit of self-preservation.  So I waited until he was here in all his newborn adorable glory and the FACT of him helped defuse the disappointment.


I haven't gotten many negative comments from total strangers except for the "Are you going to try for a girl?" thing which is a question that I can handle easily by saying, "No." (which means something different to them than it does to me!)  :)  We are more likely to meet older ladies who say, "Oh, I had three boys!  Isn't it WONDERFUL?"  Our families, OTOH ... so irritating.  I have a long, long history of loss, including a baby girl stillborn due to fetal hydrops, so shouldn't these people supposedly closest to us understand that we could care less what gender a new baby is?  We just want to meet our baby!  I had to tell my mom to buy pink clothes and donate them to a foster care organization if she was that itchy for pink.  Grrr.

post #27 of 27

You get stupid combination no matter the combination or order of the sexes. The smug "now you have one of each" like that means you're done or something is quite as annoying as, "all girls? Really?" I'm one of all-girls, at least I was until I was 30 and mom and stepdad got lil foster bro (soon to be just plain lil bro because they're adopting him--and his 1 yr younger biosis, it's not like they want him specifically because he's a boy. Unlike his biodad, but that's a whole other rant).


Some people do have preferences or visualize some sort of ideal. Me, I want at least 4 kids and don't give a flying flip what their sex or gender is..

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