For those who don't know: this baby's "father" is a UAV (emotional abuse, neglect, alcoholism, terrible stuff). He kicked me out in September, stopped attending all prenatals at that point, gave me money once after he kicked me out (a week or two later) and nothing since, and has not even asked about the baby at all.
Because of his lack of involvement, and because of everything he did (and now the fact that he's dating someone who has tried to physically attack me and has a violent history, a record and from my understanding is also an alcoholic) I have just been hoping that he would have nothing to do with this baby. To the point that I have seriously considered not going to court for child support in order to avoid the risk of pissing him off to the point that he fights visitation (I know he wouldn't get custody but I'm afraid he would get unsupervised visitation, which scares me to death for my child's sake).
Well, I finally got most of my stuff from him...which was nearly all damaged. I have not said a word to him about the damage (to the tune of several hundred dollars) because I wanted to get the last few things and never see him again. For the past month I have been calling repeatedly about him bringing me the last of my things and, usually, it takes several calls over several days before he answers or calls back...he basically says, "Oh, I can probably do it X day so I'll call you then," and then nothing. I chalked it up to him being a and just changing his mind because he doesn't care and surely he knows it annoys me.
I called him earlier today and left a message. He called me back 15 minutes later (exactly - I keep a log). Normally our conversations are only a few seconds but this one was 1:40... among things that didn't really surprise me to hear, he said this lovely little piece...
Ex: "You call about your stuff but you don't talk about anything else." (I can only assume "anything else" is referring to the baby.)
Me: "Well, you don't ask."
Ex: "Well you keep talking about yourself so why should I talk about anything else?"
...seriously? Notice how after I said that he doesn't ask, HE STILL DIDN'T ASK. If he had asked I would have told him everything was fine. I would have gladly given him details as well, HAD. HE. ASKED.
The problem is that, more than baffled and annoyed, it has scared me. I was really starting to get my hopes up that he wouldn't stick around. That I could just get my stuff and be done with it and that he wouldn't bother contacting me since he hasn't even asked about the baby. Now this. I heard someone in the background (although I would have theorized this regardless, I think) and it really makes me think that after he got my call he talked about me to whomever and that they got him worked up. It scares me that he's had intentions of being involved to some degree all along. But, on the other hand, I think that perhaps it got him worked up but only temporarily and that he just won't bother when it comes down to it seeing as he's done nothing for the past 4 months. BUT, then I start to wonder if perhaps the reason why he's been so reluctant and slow to bring me the rest of my stuff is because he's been stalling on purpose. I'm 36w5d...it's getting closer and closer to baby time.
I'm going to talk to my dad and see if we can just go out there and get the last of it. I would rather not simply because, of the items, there are two bikes. The rest is pretty small but those two bikes may not fit in my dad's Saturn. And then I'm worried about how to do it. I would rather "surprise" him and bring the police... but I don't want to have the police trailing down with me only to find that he's not there (it's out in the country and he's at the end of the road...whenever ANYBODY who doesn't live there goes down that road all the neighbours know about it by the end of the day, especially if it's police). So, sure, I could just go first and then call the police to keep the peace if he's there... but if he's not there he would still know I came by unannounced because of the neighbours.
So it looks like I would be best off trying to arrange it with him (like I did when I got my other things) and just bring a tarp and blankets to protect the top of the car if I have to tie one of the bikes down or, if nothing else, be willing to leave one there (the second one is kinda crappy anyway so I'm not too concerned with it)... and then call the police to keep the peace if anything happens.
Once he started saying things that clued me in that it wouldn't be typical of our recent conversations a few seconds in, I seriously wanted to get my camera out to record the audio...but I didn't know where the camera was, I don't know how to bring up the speaker phone and I didn't want to stall the conversation. Ugh. I had planned to record everything when he brought me the last of my things, but now it looks like I'll be recording all phone conversations as well. Now I just have to learn how to work the speaker phone... and make sure I keep one of my cameras by the phone.
So.... any ideas, suggestions, takes on this? (And, yes, I'm sure someone will tell me to just forget my stuff and disappear... but the bike is my sole mode of transportation, aside from the bus, as I do not have a license and cannot afford a car so I really need it and can't afford to replace it.)