unfortunately i have not come across any books that deal with this issue. not any article.
the only source for me have been my friends whose children have gone through this and those children who remember going thru this and telling me what it feels like.
my dd is going thru something like this as i write this. by now i have been trained to keep a cool head and not take it personally. it is also time with consciousness development. if i were to share how upset dd makes me feel, she would be further hard on herself making herself responsible for my emotions.
when they go thru this stage i find out that i need to do even more self care for myself so i can go through this stage with a cool head.
the thing i DONT like about these phases are - aaaaaaaargh my dd is growing up. my baby is gone. its bitter sweet. i KNOW a 100 percent when dd gets out of this stage there will be subtle changes. she will mature more. something is changing in her and i want it to slow down.
dont know about you guys but its so strange for me to have dd 'agree' with me. when i say no and explain why - no more tantrums but an understanding.
try remembering this is not about you. try thinking of this as gearing up for teenage hood.
this is the time to not try and discipline our kids but to find out ways to keep our calm. i know in about 4 years time i am going to need it.
the key here is not my child is going thru this.....
the key is how do i live through this. and its been my dd's words that have helped me not take this personally. when seh has described how she felt when she was going through this phase - oh poor baby. its like a depression. the world is awful. a part of you knows its not true. yet you cant let go off that feeling. at least with depression you can take a walk and help yourself a wee bit. with this phase there is no getting out except through expressing yourself.