I had my second daughter a month ago in water, at home. Any ways, in the past month I've tried twice to meditate and find my center but every time I put on relaxing music and candles and sit down to do so I have this overwhelming fear that my daughter will pass away of SIDs. I often don't worry (or at least convince myself not to worry) the rest of the time. Could the sudden fear come from relaxing my mind? Perhaps letting down my guard is making me realize I am actually scared? I'm always terrified it's intuition as I often confuse the two, and I can't help but want to stay up tonight and watch her sleep.
Any thoughts are welcome and appreciated.