(My journal entry)
It had been a long week leading up to your due date. Those past few days I’d been feeling anxious, worried about your position. For some reason, you were spending way too much time OP. I did NOT want an OP birth. My back and hips were causing me a lot of pain and making sleeping almost impossible. I spent Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday in the chiropractor’s office, getting massages and crawling around on hands and knees. On Friday you finally turned LOA for good! I was determined to keep you that way. Friday night Dad and I went out to dinner and afterwards Aunt Kim and I went to walk the mall for a while. On our way home I told Dad to stop at the drug store so I could pick up some castor oil. I hadn’t decided if I was going to use it yet, I just wanted to have it on hand in case I was still feeling desperate in the morning. Dad laughed when I told him that, knowing if I had it on hand it surely would be used. I woke up Saturday morning (your due date) and decided to scramble a half dose of castor oil with my eggs. It would either work or it wouldn’t but the possibility of meeting you that day was too exciting! I just had to give it a shot!
I finished the castor oil at 9:30am. After a few trips to the bathroom, I began having mild contractions around 2pm. They felt like menstrual cramps; not really having a beginning or an end and seeming about a minute apart. More than anything, they were annoying. I lay down to rest for a while and mentioned to Dad I thought the castor oil had irritated my uterus. I just needed to wait for it to wear off and I thought the contractions would stop. Maybe you’d show up tomorrow. Aunt Kim and I talked on the phone for a while and I told her I was really hoping they’d space out and get longer. Thirty second contractions surely weren’t going to do anything except make me feel discouraged. I told her to call me in a few hours if she hadn’t heard from me. I called my midwife, A, and told her about the contractions and wondered if I should have a glass of wine to get them to stop. She said we might as well wait a little while and see what happens. More than likely the castor oil would wear off and we could try it again in a few days if you still weren’t here. Call her if I need her.
Around 4pm I decided to get in the bath and see if it helped quiet the contractions. They were becoming uncomfortable and I wanted them to stop. I still didn’t think I was in labor, just that the castor oil had caused some really annoying contractions. Dad came in and sat with me for a while and timed them. On average they were forty-five seconds long and about a minute apart. Grandpa D had called and I mentioned to him that I thought I might be in early labor but nothing serious was going on yet. Grandma Kathy said she was going to stop by on her way home from the grocery store. I was still in the bath when she showed up and we chatted for a while. The contractions were still really easy but I was couldn’t help wonder why they were SO close together. A break for a few minutes sure would have been nice. Grandma Kathy left at 4:15 and told me to call her later that night if anything picked up. As soon as she left the contractions became pretty uncomfortable and started lasting about a minute and half with thirty seconds between. I was sure I was in labor now. I had Dad call Cici to come and pick up Adalyn and Ethan. I was starting to vocalize through the contractions and didn’t want any interruptions. Ethan came in and said, “Mom, you’re a ghost! Ahhhh, oooohhhh!” I remember laughing at him and telling him, “Yep. I sure am!”
When Cici arrived a few minutes later I was beginning to doubt myself. The contractions were unbearable. I was sure you were malpositioned. The pain was so intense. I know a lot of that had to do with only twenty seconds to re-coop and prepare to do it again. I told Dad I didn’t know what to do. Something was surely wrong. I got out of the tub at 4:45 and Dad called A. I told her I didn’t know what was going on, but you felt transverse. When I checked myself I couldn’t even find my cervix and could no longer feel your head. I was really panicking at this point. She listened to me have a contraction and told Dad to have me lie down on the bed on my left side and to watch for your head! Dad was nervous! She was on her way here and would see us in about thirty minutes. I came and stood by the bed. With the next contraction my water broke. I felt a lot of pressure along with a sharp unmistakable sensation and thought for a moment it was the castor oil kicking in again but knew it was your head passing through my cervix. I didn’t want to ruin the carpet so I went and sat down on the toilet. Dad followed me into the bathroom, looking for your head and I yelled at him to stop!
During the next contraction your head was crowning into my hand and I was SO happy to know the pain was almost over. Feeling your head there made me calm and centered. I was no longer worried about you or your position. Dad said, “Do NOT left him fall into the toilet!” I stood up and birthed your head. I told Dad to catch you as I birthed your shoulders. You were born at 5pm! Only 45 minutes of active labor!
Dad held on to you and I sat down. I held you close and marveled at how perfect you were. I couldn’t have been happier in that moment. You were purple and quiet but watching me intently. I asked Dad to get me towels and the bulb syringe out of the birth kit. I suctioned your mouth and you pinked up nicely but never cried. You were so calm and alert! Dad and I sat together in shock that you were actually here! The placenta came out about a minute later. A called to check on me and let me know she was about 15 minutes away. She was also shocked you had already arrived. Dad called Aunt Kim to come over. It was so nice to have her here. She has such a calming presence. She helped us clean up and then A was here. I was so happy to see her. She was wonderful; so positive and reassuring. Aunt Kim cut your umbilical cord and we weighed you. You were 7lb 14oz. Just perfect!
You’ve only been with us for three days and I am already head over heels in love with you. I feel so grateful that Heavenly Father has entrusted me with your care. You are my own little piece of Heaven here on Earth. Your labor was fast and furious and I’d do it a million times over just to have you here with me. I love you Simon. I can’t wait to spend eternity with you.