Formula feeding support sub-forum

[diana_of_the_dunes]

I know this has been discussed before, and I am aware of Mothering's rules as far as not hosting discussions on the merits of formula feeding.  I am also aware that there are threads to be found here and there about mamas who must use or supplement with formula, which wouldn't have been allowed a few years ago.

But I really believe that it would be beneficial to our community to have a formula feeding support sub-forum under Breastfeeding or Health and Nutrition.  When I went back to work, my son was 12 weeks old.  I pumped every 3 hours, which I think is pretty impressive, since I work in law enforcement on road patrol.  But by the time my son was 9 months old, my supply had dwindled to nothing.  I had tried every suggestion I could find to increase my supply (except getting more sleep, which was impossible, especially with a hungry baby...).  I used donor milk for a while, but eventually had to supplement with formula.  It was so hard to give up breastfeeding, and even now I don't think I've addressed all the feelings of inadequacy that have come from it.

And formula feeding came with its own problems.  My son was large, by both height and weight standards, and trying to figure out exactly how much to feed him was difficult.  I truly felt that I had no support here and was afraid to even bring up my problems.  Other mamas from my DDC that I am still in touch with have had similar feelings.  This is the only true AP style parenting website that I know of, and I find it sad that formula-feeding parents, or even those that are able to obtain donor milk, cannot find help and support here to bottle-feed their child with love.  Even Dr. Sears includes a small bit in his Baby Book...

There are so many situations where a parent may to bottle feed, and only one of these would undermine Mothering's commitment to breastfeeding.  Mothering should not host discussions by people who are formula feeding by choice.  But what about mothers who have had medical complications from birth, breast irregularities, or catastrophic illness post-partum?  Or need to take medications that aren't compatible with breastfeeding?  Or mother like me, who tried (and tried, and tried) to keep our supplies up, but ultimately failed.  There are also gay parents, adoptive parents, mothers who have had mastectomies, single fathers, and a multitude of people who need support with attachment parenting practices while formula or bottle feeding.  None of these situations, all of which I have encountered here on these message boards, would undermine Mothering's position on breastfeeding or decision to not host discussion on the merits of formula.

Especially if presented as a sub-forum of the Breastfeeding section, I believe it would enhance our community and help its members to find the support, education, and acceptance that they need.

[georgia]

Hi, I completely understand and respect the needs of those who are formula feeding and their individual circumstances. It sounds like you had an amazing and long-lasting breastfeeding relationship, and you sound like a wonderful and caring mother who understands both "sides" of the experience. I personally know how humbling that is. 

We are not currently considering opening any new moderated public forums right now. Administratively, we're putting energy into helping create a new group feature for the community where like-minded members with similar interests can come together in new ways to discuss topics (in addition to maintaining our already huge forum list). So, unfortunately, we're not opening the boards up to new subforums right now, and the best we have to offer are support threads in the various forums. There are a lot of formula support threads, and I'd be happy to help direct folks to these. Or, anyone is welcome to start their own if this feels better.

I definitely understand the need and desire for a separate forum so please know this decision in no way reflects a lack of support or respect for anyone's personal experience. Since we talk about the real world of parenting, we all know that life happens and things don't always work the way we'd planned. We have a large number of parents who formula feed in as many different circumstances, and all are welcome to discuss the topics surrounding formula. It's just that we don't wish to host the advocacy of formula feeding by choice. 

Please feel free to PM me with any questions. I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to write and share your personal experience and requests. Thanks so much for your support of MDC.