Anyone have a hard time leaving their hospital midwife?

[CookAMH]

I'm writing an email to let my current midwife, C, know that we are switching to homebirth. I really like her, and my husband and I have become confident and excited about our decision to do an HBAC.  She only does hospital births.

This hospital is the best hospital choice around, quite good, actually, and this midwife is wonderful. I'm sad not to birth with her but wish she did HBACs. Anyone else feel that way or close to it? Did it make you doubt your decision to leave?

I think part of it is that I haven't "bonded" with my new midwife, B, yet. My first appt is next week. I felt connected to C because she came so highly recommended and I initially couldn't get in with her, but did a couple weeks later. I was so sad she was booked and then I was rejoicing that she became available later, because this was the only good option for me at the time since we were considering homebirth. She is so kind and capable and confident in women.

We chose homebirth, by the way, in order to have the complete freedom to labor and push, and we greatly desire that environment. I wonder if it's part nervousness, that in sending this email, this is it. The final step to switching. We know our new midwife will be great.

[RoseRedHoofbeats]

I really loved my hospital midwife I had with my daughter, and I elected to do dual-care with her for this pregnancy even though I'm planning a homebirth. She was just such a wonderful support for me when I went into preterm labor and had to go on bedrest and she was wonderful during labor, exactly what I needed. I'd hire her as a doula in a heartbeat, but no such luck. I also like that if I do have to transfer care for whatever reason that I'll already have a relationship with her and be on record as her patient so she'll be called in if I need medical treatment and I won't just get whatever random OB is on staff.

~Rose

[lisathena]

I really liked my hospital MW for when i had my son, but when i switched half way thru my pregnancy w/ #3 to a HB MW she turned on me! Any time i seen her at the mall or at my SIL's labor/birth she gave me a cold look and was short w/ me! So i will NEVER go back to her. And it kinda hurts cuz she was so amazing w/ my sons pregnancie/delivery....or so i thought...makes me think she was being fake :( bummer!

And i didnt have a hard time leaving because i knew what WE (hubby and I ) wanted she couldnt offer so it was easy....i still felt guilty tho!

[Peony]

I liked my hospital MW with DD1 a lot but it wasn't hard for me not to use her for my other births, she only works in the hospital and that isn't where I birth anymore.  I still go in for time to time, yeast infections, etc... I get my well woman care from her. It is easier to go to her when not pg then to track down one of HB MWs that I've used over the years. I just birth with other people, it is fine. The office staff get weirded out when I come in with another baby that wasn't born with them, but the MW doesn't care. 

[ocelotmom]

Yes.

I saw a midwife group for the first half of my pregnancy. They work at a very natural birth friendly hospital, where I'd had my second baby and served as a volunteer doula. So not only did I have a good experience with them as a patient, but I'd worked with several of them during births and was familiar and comfortable with their style of practice. In addition, this particular hospital is very much responsible, in numerous ways, for me being an RN now. I feel a lot of affection towards it, and very safe there.

We moved out of state halfway through my pregnancy, so I had to change plans, and decided to go with a homebirth midwife as I did not have similar confidence in the local hospitals.

I loved my homebirth midwife and my homebirth, but I definitely mourned not getting to birth at my old hospital. I actually considered trying to find a way to commute back and forth for prenatals and staying with friends after 36 weeks in order to stay at that hospital, but we decided it would be too hard on the rest of the family.

[mommatouch]

I am in a similar situation myself right now.  I am being followed by a hospital midwife.  The hospital is also natural birth friendly.  But, I really feel that I would prefer to birth at home.  I found a HB MW that is willing to take me on and I am considering doing dual care with both but delivering at home.  Much like you, I would already have my hospital midwife on hand if I needed to transfer to the hospital.  I am just not sure how this will work with the insurance.  They can't answer my question as they don't know either.  They have never had this situation arise.

[CookAMH]

Glad I'm not the only one:).  I sent the email and had a good talk with DH that night, with him assuring me that we were doing the right thing in leaving her to have a homebirth. We laughed at the fact that HE was reassuring ME of homebirth because it was me who has been wanting it all along and he has finally come around to fully support it.

I talked to the receptionist yesterday to cancel appt I would have had this morning since hadn't heard back from C, so the receptionist was like, Oh ok! We wish you the best, and she said she'd fax over my records to the new midwife.

DH reminded me that I'd only had one appt with this midwife so far, the rest were with her partner midwives anyway.

I'm doing better now that it's behind me :).