DS is starting to get under my skin with this.... - Page 2

[One_Girl]

Handwriting is something that I have always struggled with.  I was also a child who didn't do much beyond what I had to do unless it was required of me and my dd is the same way in both regards.  My mother had years of conferences where she was told that I was really smart and could be an A student if I wanted to be and she never found a way for me to want to be (I did find a way to motivate myself through college though and will start grad school next year still motivated).

I remember feeling so dumb because I would just skip over a lot of stuff that wasn't important to me and I got lower grades that way, I would miss words and letters, and my writing was always awful.  Until my dd started school I didn't realize that anyone had seen potential in me.  My mother told me once I started getting the same conferences she had with me.  Since my dd has the same struggles with writing and the same struggle to care about things she finds boring (and school finds important to master) I make sure to tell her how well she is doing and how well she can do.  When her teacher told me that all my dd needs to do to raise her grade in math is to focus we talked about that and she made a plan.  When her writing is suffering and her grades get low I point out where she should focus her attention to pick up the grade. 

It is frustrating to be the parent going through this, but it was also frustrating to be the child dealing with this too so I really suggest telling him where he can improve and asking him to make a plan but not acting out of your frustration.  Because he is not suffering academically they may see it as something he doesn't need accommodations for.  You may want to talk to the special education teacher at the school to see what constitutes an academic need for an IEP, but I don't think that a B or even a C will be it even if he can do a lot better.  You may have some success asking the teacher to work with him so he can find a quiet place to do his work without having kids asking him for help so he can do his best.

Edited by One_Girl - 1/21/11 at 4:00pm

[MerriMom]

How does your son feel about the grades? If he's ok with the 80s, then he may not be motivated to make a change right now. I think ssh's assessment is probably spot-on, especially in light of the fact that he doesn't write his name. That's not a learning disability, that's forgetting and not being careful.

I teach 3rd and 4th grade gifted kids and I tell you, the difference in organizational skills at this age can be staggering. There are some kids whose papers are always properly headed and complete and others that I have to wonder if they were in my classroom at all.

This is a visual age. A checklist for his desk is probably a great idea. If he needs handwriting support, does your school or district provide any OT services? Something as simple as changing your pencil grip can make drastic changes in handwriting and speed.

Good luck!

[oceanbaby]

I haven't read all the replies, but I have a 4th grade boy who hates writing and forgets everything.  Constantly.  It's maddening. 

However, I wanted to comment on this:  "I KNOW the boy hates writing.  He has Developmental Coordination Disorder and writing is difficult for him, I KNOW this, but that doesn't change the fact that he HAS to do it."

He may not have to do it.  My son hasn't even ever been tested for any sort of learning disability, but I talked to his teacher and his principal about his struggles with writing, and his teacher agreed to reduce his writing load.  Instead of writing sentences for all 20 of the vocabulary words, he only has to do 10.  He can dictate his book reports to me and I type them.  (I made mistakes on purpose and make him edit it.)  He doesn't get marked down for spelling or handwriting if it's a science test, or social studies.  I specifically asked for these accomodations, and I think they were so happy not to have to spend a bunch of money having him tested when he gets all As and Bs, that they were more than happy to do this for him.

[Kristin0105]

Since he has a 504 could you not get them to add an alpha smart or lap top to it? He should be allowed to type his responses or give them verbally. There is no reason a child with a writing disorder should be made to hand write his assignments. Particularly in this digital age. 

[Petie1104]

Originally Posted by MerriMom 

How does your son feel about the grades? If he's ok with the 80s, then he may not be motivated to make a change right now. I think ssh's assessment is probably spot-on, especially in light of the fact that he doesn't write his name. That's not a learning disability, that's forgetting and not being careful.

I teach 3rd and 4th grade gifted kids and I tell you, the difference in organizational skills at this age can be staggering. There are some kids whose papers are always properly headed and complete and others that I have to wonder if they were in my classroom at all.

This is a visual age. A checklist for his desk is probably a great idea. If he needs handwriting support, does your school or district provide any OT services? Something as simple as changing your pencil grip can make drastic changes in handwriting and speed.

Good luck!

 He doesn't seem to be happy with his grades.  He just seeems less happy about doing what needs to be done to bring them up.  It is almost like he has decided it's easier to deal with 80's than it is to work on getting his handwriting down.

We tried different grips and he does best with a jelly type grip, it's really a soft gooey grip.  He uses it all the time.  I have a conference with his teacher in a couple weeks, so I'm going to discuss options with her about what we can do to get him some help with his writing.  His neurologist said that with his issues, he is probably just going to have to learn ways to cope and adapt to his situation.  For instance, he can't tie his shoes the normal way (you know, one bunny ear, around, through the hole, etc.) so he still does the two bunny ear method.  He's fine with that and so am I.  What bothers me is when he gets frustrated because, "I tell my fingers what I want them to do, I can see what I want them to do, I just can't get them to do it", which has to be frustrating for him.  Hopefully, the teacher and I can brainstorm and find something we can do to help him out. 

[Linda on the move]

Unless you formalize any accommodations into a 504, they will end at the end of the school year.

[melissa17s]

Originally Posted by Petie1104 

Originally Posted by MerriMom 

How does your son feel about the grades? If he's ok with the 80s, then he may not be motivated to make a change right now. I think ssh's assessment is probably spot-on, especially in light of the fact that he doesn't write his name. That's not a learning disability, that's forgetting and not being careful.

I teach 3rd and 4th grade gifted kids and I tell you, the difference in organizational skills at this age can be staggering. There are some kids whose papers are always properly headed and complete and others that I have to wonder if they were in my classroom at all.

This is a visual age. A checklist for his desk is probably a great idea. If he needs handwriting support, does your school or district provide any OT services? Something as simple as changing your pencil grip can make drastic changes in handwriting and speed.

Good luck!

 He doesn't seem to be happy with his grades.  He just seeems less happy about doing what needs to be done to bring them up.  It is almost like he has decided it's easier to deal with 80's than it is to work on getting his handwriting down.

We tried different grips and he does best with a jelly type grip, it's really a soft gooey grip.  He uses it all the time.  I have a conference with his teacher in a couple weeks, so I'm going to discuss options with her about what we can do to get him some help with his writing.  His neurologist said that with his issues, he is probably just going to have to learn ways to cope and adapt to his situation.  For instance, he can't tie his shoes the normal way (you know, one bunny ear, around, through the hole, etc.) so he still does the two bunny ear method.  He's fine with that and so am I.  What bothers me is when he gets frustrated because, "I tell my fingers what I want them to do, I can see what I want them to do, I just can't get them to do it", which has to be frustrating for him.  Hopefully, the teacher and I can brainstorm and find something we can do to help him out. 

Petie1104, it sounds like your ds is doing amazing stuff considering he has a disadvantage compared to his peers.  My ds (9 yr. old) has issues with writing and he was referred for OT.  I think you might consider because they have several strategies to help develop different pathways in the brain to doing tasks like writing to make it easier.  Ds does the writing without tears program, and the OT has worked on strengthening his core as well as his hand for writing.  The OT is very patient with ds because she knows that he struggles with this activity.  Ds says writing with a pen is easier than pencil, and one of the drs that test ds said that he may never be comfortable with a pencil; he does use a pencil at school and has improved with OT.  DS does have accommodations for writing, such as I can write long answers on home work if he dictates and he can get assistance writing on longer exams.  He can get notes from a classmate.  We also requested that they do not use time limits.  I teach at the college level, and I get students with similar accommodations.  Really bright students can have accommodations; a skill deficit should not be the measure of ones ability and knowledge.  

[MattBronsil]

If I had to do meaningless work to just prove I knew it, I would be sloppy too.

[Petie1104]

Originally Posted by MattBronsil 

If I had to do meaningless work to just prove I knew it, I would be sloppy too.

 LOL!  Point taken.