Unique Scenario .. Please HELP!!!

[srwem]

My 6 week old son gets fed three ounces of formula every two hours for 12 hours during the day (6 feedings) and every 3 hours through the night for 12 hours (4 feedings) for a total of 30 ounces a day.  He drinks it up with no problem and shows very little sign of any reflux or digestion problems.  He was breast-feed initially and then weened to formula and is now 100% on formula.  Since about 2 weeks old he has shown a similar pattern during the day.  The first hour after he eats he is a very happy and content baby.  Once that hour is up he becomes very high maintenance and nothing works to soothe him other than bouncing him to sleep or wearing him around to sleep.  He showed the same pattern on 100% breast milk and 100% formula.  While I admit we probably overfeed him he has no digestion problems and rarely spits up and never vomits.  

I just can not figure out what triggers him to go from a happy baby to an inconsolable baby like clockwork.  Sometimes he can make it 75 minutes but usually, 60 minutes after he eats he is VERY fussy until he eats again an hour later.  We do not just give him the bottle to quite him down so he does go the full two hours every time.  In the evenings he sleeps in 3 hours blocks, 9-12, 12-3, 3-6 and 6-9 every night and when he is sleeping, he never wakes up after the first hour or even the second hour.  Since he sleeps so well throughout the night he rarely naps during the day which may contribute to his fussiness.  

I can not find any information on this but it is exhausting his parents.  We just don't know what to do with him during the second hour after feeding.  We are concerned about the future when we can no longer feed him every two hours.  He is not interested in being held, comforted or cuddled during this time including laying down in bed next to us and he doesn't want to be in the swing or crib. He will suck on a pacifier in small doses (5-15 minutes).  One very recent success we have had is swaddling him in the second hour after feeding and putting him on our lap with a pacifier. He seems to be able to soothe himself to sleep.  

I am concerned that this situation is not all that normal since I can not find any information on it.  Perhaps someone can help me out with some suggestions or let me know that I am not alone.

Thanks

[pranava]

I don't know if it is any different with formula, but at 6 weeks my breastfed DS wanted to eat every hour to hour and a half.  At daycare he would go 2 1/2 to 3 hours between feedings, but was drinking 4 ounces each feed.  6 to 8 weeks was a huge growth spurt time for him.  There were other growth spurts as well that required more frequent feedings.  Maybe he just wants to suck?  If the pacifier doesn't quiet him, I would feed him more frequently.  Why is it that you won't always be able to feed him that frequently?  Even now that my DS is on table food only, he wants a snack 2 hours after a meal. 

[violet_]

Most babies that age don't like being awake more than 2 hours, so he might not be getting enough rest. Or, could be hungry. Have you tried giving more formula during feeding to see if he lasts longer?

I may get flamed for even mentioning her, but I find Gina Ford's schedules in the Contented Little Baby Book to be very effective. Helps me have a starting point to know what might work for a given age. And yes, I ignore her "controlled crying" advice. But her routines are really very good and in tune with natural rhythms. She may be able to help you a lot.

[srwem]

Good thought.  Are you suggesting that I feed less and more frequently?  Because I already feed him more than I should I feel.  I was under the impression that as my child gets older he will need to go longer in between feedings.  At least thats what Western Culture wants you to believe.  

[srwem]

Thank you Violet.  I assumed babies slept all day as well but my baby will not go to sleep.  He needs to be bounced to sleep and I can rarely get him to sleep during the day.  I have tried everything.  If I do get him to sleep it usually takes 90 minutes and he is ready to eat again.  I always try to get him one or two naps during the day.  If I could get him to sleep during the day Im not so sure he would sleep all night but I am sure it would help his mood.  However, after his initial feeding after he wakes up at 9 AM and fed he will start getting cranky by 10 AM.

[Parker'smommy]

He's tired...and you are just missing his cues. It takes some time to understand their different cues for hunger and for sleep.  My 4 1/2 month old doesn't stay asleep more than an hour after her first wake up. She starts to rub her eyes and then starts to suck her fingers. I put her in her swing and she falls asleep. Some kids cry, some kids whine, and get agitated.

And some babies are...cranky. My little one JUST came out of being colicky....4 1/2 months of screaming. Seriously. And then a light went off ( and she FINALLY found her fingers!) and she's a new baby.

Don't worry about what you are going to do in the future when you think that he needs to go longer between feedings. Just deal with now. Continue to feed him on demand, like you would if you were breastfeeding. Breastfed AND formula fed babies should be demand fed. So, if he sleeps an hour ( or 2!) after being up an hour, he'll actually go 3 hours between feedings, and then maybe he'll want to eat an hour afterwards...maybe 2. It's okay to not be on a schedule.

But, I'm betting he's tired...and actually needs to be rocked/held/patted/fed to sleep before the 60 minute mark.

[Knitting Mama]

A few things:

• At his age, he really shouldn't be expected to stay awake for several hours at a time. Try getting him down to sleep 60-90 minutes after he woke up from his last nap.
• Why wouldn't you be able to feed him often as he gets older? Babies should be fed on demand regardless of if they are formula fed or breastfed
• So continuing from that, have you experimented with feeding him sooner?
• Sleep generally begets sleep. For the most part, when babies sleep well during the day, they sleep better at night as well.
• The swaddle is a great idea to help him sleep better. A routine also might help. At that age, our routine before naps was diaper change, swaddle, snuggle, and nurse to sleep.

[cristeen]

Regimented schedules are about the parents, not the baby. Stop feeding him by the clock. I suggest 2 oz bottles at this age, not 3, and feed him when he gets fussy. And id also suggest you try wearing him. At that age, a Moby is usually a good choice, but some moms prefer to go straight to a mai tei or even an Ergo if thats your preference.

My little guy didnt graduate to 3 oz bottles until about 4 mos, IIRC. 4 oz somewhere around 6 or 8 mos. And only recently has he started taking 6 oz bottles on occassion (he's 16 mos).

[violet_]

Yes, sleep begets sleep, so definitely try to help him out in that regard. Some babies aren't very good at finding sleep at that age, so you need to help.

And I do support demand feeding. I only suggested the routines as a starting point, since you and babe aren't communicating so well yet. My baby is fed anytime she demands, but since I got her in a routine, she rarely has to demand, as I am ready with the boob before she cries. The routines give you some idea whether baby is crying for food or nap, for instance, and helps with the guesswork. Good luck.

[srwem]

Thank you everyone for your posts.  They were very informative and helpful.  We will work on the situation.

[staceychev]

Lots of good info here, so I won't repeat. I'd just encourage you to not stress too much about "Western Civilization." If you're a reader, I think Our Babies, Ourselves is a really interesting read to remind you that not every culture treats baby-rearing in the same way!

Oh, and welcome to MDC!  

[crystal_buffaloe]

Originally Posted by srwem 

He is not interested in being held, comforted or cuddled during this time including laying down in bed next to us and he doesn't want to be in the swing or crib. He will suck on a pacifier in small doses (5-15 minutes).  One very recent success we have had is swaddling him in the second hour after feeding and putting him on our lap with a pacifier. He seems to be able to soothe himself to sleep.  

This sounds a little bit like my DD when she was super-small (maybe up to 6 or 7 weeks). She just.did.not.sleep during the day, and it fooled me because she was happy a lot of the time, and say, after eating, she'd be happy again even if she hadn't slept, and though she might act cranky and rub her eyes one minute, she'd RESIST being cuddled, let alone put down for a nap and seem to get a second wind, and with a lot of effort and distraction she was fine, but the truth is she was overtired and inconsolable for periods every day. I had this belief that a tired baby would sleep -- or if she was tired and I rocked, nursed, bounced, laid down with her, etc., that she'd fall asleep, but she didn't.

When (finally) I was better able to read her cues and figure out what worked for her, naptimes became regular (and frequent) and I had a happy baby all the time. As soon as she starts to rub her eyes (which happens about 2 hours after she's been awake), she's swaddled, nursed, pacified, patted for just a minute, and put in the swing. She's out in minutes (if not instantly). We'd tried all of those things before, but when we hit upon the right combination and started catching her at the right time, it was like magic.
 

It sounds like you are on the track to finding what might work for your DS, and it seems as though you even have a window of time when it's likely he's tired (about an hour after eating).

Originally Posted by Parker'smommy
 

Don't worry about what you are going to do in the future when you think that he needs to go longer between feedings. Just deal with now.  

This is excellent advice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by srwem 

I always try to get him one or two naps during the day.   

I think the vast majority of six-week olds need more than one or two naps a day to function.

[newmamalizzy]

Just one more vote in agreement with what's already been stated, but just to add that my LO (9.5 months) was taking a 4 oz bottle every two hours during the day until about two weeks ago (although, now that I think of it, I think she took 4 oz every 3 hours at about 2 months).  And yes, try the Moby.  DD conked right out in it at that age.  And one more thing - try to get ahold of the nap situation now while your baby is still wee and prone to sleeping a lot because you're going to have even more trouble later on :)

[poppiesinjuly]

http://www.health.alberta.ca/health-info/baby-formula.html

I found this site really helpful to me.

You are not over feeding your baby.  Even the amounts on this page are an average.  Babies can eat more or less.  I would toss out the schedule and try something different if it feels right to you.

If your baby is draining his bottles, I would put in another 1/2 an ounce at his next feeding.  If he drains that, do it again.  Keep a close eye on him while he is eating for signs that he is full.  He should be relaxed when he is finished.  If he is awake, looking around for more, he might need more.  After a baby has regained his or her birth weight, there is no need to wake them to eat. (From the Mayo clinic page)  Allow your baby to wake naturally for his next feeding if you are comfortable with that.

The idea is to let them eat/ sleep on their own schedule, just as you would if they were breastfeeding.  Do you have a big baby?  Maybe he just needs more.  All babies are different.  My baby is 2 weeks old and a couple of his feedings are around 4 oz.  He still drinks about 21-25 oz per day, some of his feedings are just bigger and some are smaller.  No matter how much I put in the bottle, he eats until he's finished and we toss the rest.  Sometimes it's an ounce or 2, sometimes it's 4.  He was born a big boy though, there's no way his needs are the same as every other 2 week old's. 

Once your baby is on formula, it is so easy to start worrying about over feeding.  You know exactly how much he just put in his tummy, so it is easy to say, "you just ate, you can't possibly be hungry."  For me, listening to my baby has been the key.  Even though 4 oz is a lot for a little guy, he is happy, sleeps well, doesn't spit up, and has calmed down so much since I just started listening to him and really feeding him on demand.

[srwem]

Thanks everyone.  We tried to change things up and do things a little differently.  Yesterday was the first day but we had him sleeping a majority of the day and when he was up he was much more manageable.  He was definetely overtired!!!  After reading all of your posts I feel more in tuned with him and am worrying more about his needs than schedules and managing my Type-A personality.  I think thinks will be a lot better from here on out as the focus is him rather than what I feel he should be doing.

I will check back in soon to let you all know if we are able to have continued successs.  Yesterday was one of the best days I have had with my baby thus far.  Thank you!  I feel we are coming out of the first 6 week haze and starting to get our feet on the ground. 

[caseykn]

That's great to hear!! 

[Knitting Mama]

That is wonderful news!

As a Type A-er myself, let me just tell you-- babies are the cure for Type A personality! If anything in the world can help you learn how to go with the flow, it's your sweet, cuddly little love!

[peacelove&camping]

i agree that he's probably overtired. i had a hard time picking up on dd's cues for the longest time, and it made life very hard. now, she *still* has trouble going more than an hour and a half or two after she last woke up, and she's 10 months old! so i'd say try assuming he's tired.

also, the thing that made a drastic improvement in dd's daytime sleep [and our lives!] was switching feeding to right *before* naps. a lot of programs say to do it when they wake up, but really, eating makes you sleepy, as a baby or even as an adult. so what we do is she gets a half-feeding when she wakes up for the day, then a full before both naps. she used to get a half before her third nap [because it was a short nap, and she'd be eating again soon before bed], but now she doesn't take one, so she just gets half with no nap. than a full before bed. so see if that helps you.

i can't comment on whether you're overfeeding him, because i ebf and have zero clue what she gets for ounces, but that does seem like a lot. maybe look for 'baby 411' or 'what to expect the first year' at your library, they'll have charts and averages on amounts. good luck! :)

eta: i did not see your last post before i replied. awesome! :)

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by peacelove&camping 

also, the thing that made a drastic improvement in dd's daytime sleep [and our lives!] was switching feeding to right *before* naps. a lot of programs say to do it when they wake up, but really, eating makes you sleepy, as a baby or even as an adult. so what we do is she gets a half-feeding when she wakes up for the day, then a full before both naps. she used to get a half before her third nap [because it was a short nap, and she'd be eating again soon before bed], but now she doesn't take one, so she just gets half with no nap. than a full before bed. so see if that helps you.

Wow, I didn't know that it was recommended to not feed babes right before a nap-- Cecilia only nurses for nourishment then! She'll nurse little bits after naps/morning, but she really only nurses a lot when she's sleepy.