Long time leaving!

[AttunedMama]

Hi fellow single Mamas.

I'm putting the wheels in motion to finally leave this relationship. I'm excited!

Although he's made a fair amount of progress in being my man and baby daddy, it all comes too long, too slow, at too high of a cost to my sanity. The abuse of the past still lingers on for me, and he wants to have fully moved on/pretend that stuff didn't happen, that I was as much at fault. Well, I can't do it! It's not worth fighting over anymore. Whew.

Haven't had my very own place in years, and I can just imagine what it will look like. Cozy, clean, not a lot of stuff, no animal-tested body care in the bathroom. The 'little' things can mean so very much.

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Congrats!  I'm sorry that it has come to this, but you will find support here and hopefully you have real life support, too.

[doubledutch]

mm, i love that hopeful feeling!  it sounds like you have some good momentum going.  good luck!

[AttunedMama]

Thank you both.

I am unhappy for my kids. I wanted them to have a Mama who could spend a huge amount of time home during their adolescence. As it looks now, I'll be scrambling to advance my career and pay off student loans. This is not what I wanted, but I can't go on dying slowly, with my reasonable expectations so often going unmet. 

[LorenaAZ]

Congratulations Mama!!!  Keep the momentum and the vision of how much better it can and will be!  Hugs!!

[AttunedMama]

Yes, I can't wait(emotionally). Unfortunately, it's a particularly sticky spot, and I feel stuck for another month or two. I'm trying not to get hasty and jump before I have a plan, but the plan hinges on a few details that I just have to WAIT OUT and keep doing me until they click into place. I have my own sleeping room with the kids, but it's hard. I'm eager to create my own space and yes, start really dating(I've been 'without' for a very long, long time).

[AttunedMama]

Mamas, will you please wish me some lucky rental vibes?

I found a place that is so exactly what I need. Small, cottage-y, right in the inner city but on a private driveway with lots of trees. Like, with proper landlords, I'd have chickens AND be able to walk to the liquor store and laundromat. That perfect. Ohmigoodness....I can hardly study for my midterm, I'm so geeked out.

It's a one-bedroom, and it's listed by a rental company. They may balk at me and my two kids in a "small" cottage. But it's just what we need. Cozy, adorable, safe, convenient, beautiful. It needs love that I can provide. And, for us, anything bigger would be wasteful in regard to money, space, and time I would spend cleaning it.

I have an appointment on Weds.

Babydaddy/partner has been pretty wonderful lately, but I need, need, NEED at least an extended break if not a permanent break-up. We've worked a lot on his/my/our issues over the years, and I can confidently say that he can take the kids whenever. But life has been a drag, I have all of the drawbacks of marriage (boredom, boredom, boredom, boredom, live in a sexual pumpkin and he's never around, putting up with his personal habits and addictions that piss me off), and none of the perks (no social security benefits, none of the property is legally mine, still have to go to college and put my kids in school and hustle all the time).  I need to jump off the fence and this place would be the next step! I haven't found any arrangement even close to this ideal. Please send me super-connectivity powers and some mental clarity!

[AttunedMama]

Ugh, the cottage turned out to be Nas-TEEEE!!!  Carpet was so wet and stinky we could hardly go in. I don't understand why they even had the place listed on their website, WTH?

They had another unit in the same location that was adorable, clean, HUUUUGGEE, as in, get a roommate now and in a couple of years when my kids might need more space, just bounce the roommate and stay put. 3 bedrooms 1.5 bathrooms! I've never had anything like it, drool.......So, I viewed the inside of this place but the lady didn't even have the rent amount. So I got all excited about some place that is likely way beyond my budget. I can hope, right?