need advice for weaning 19-month-old from pacifier

[adamom]

I'm several days into a cold turkey effort to wean my 19-month-old from the pacifier. She'd been asking for it more and more (always to fall asleep, always in the car, 50% of the time at home, even if she wasn't tired or cranky), so I decided to end it. The first few days I still let her have it for naps and at bedtime, and I was amazed by how easily she accepted it. So I decided to take it away altogether. The first night was great—she even slept through by herself for the first time! Since then, however, things have gotten rough. She'll often cry and thrash for an hour or more before falling asleep (my husband or I still lay with her to fall asleep and generally stay through the night). I'm still determined, but my husband is having serious doubts. I feel we ought to give it two weeks before we make a final decision, but he might not last that long. 

Is 19-months a good time to be doing this? Is it a bad time? Are there any tricks we can try (without pulling the pacifiers out of hiding)? Whenever she asks for it, I simply tell here "there are no more." A major factor is that I'm due with my second in April, and I fear that if we don't wean her now, it'll be much harder after the next baby arrives. I feel very determined right now, and I don't know if I'll have the same willpower later. But I also worry that those considerations ought to be secondary to what is truly best for my daughter. I'd appreciate any advice.

[Katie T]

I don't think you will like my advise but am going to share my story with you anyways.

My first child had her binkie until she was a day shy of 4yo. Gave it up on her own no tears. Her idea.

My second child gave his binkie up on his own no tears at 3ys 6 months.

My youngest child have up her thumb very abruptly at 14 months.

I truly believe they will give it up when the urge to suck goes away. They will not go off to college with it. Is it a pain to have to make sure you have a binkie with you? Yes. Is it annoying to run around the house at bedtime to find them? Yes. But I think it is easier on the child to give it up when they are ready and IMO/IME right before the life changing even of a new sibling may not be the best time. Also if she is still struggling with it when the new little one arrives you may find her snatching the babies binkie.

I wish you luck.

[pbjmama]

Perhaps the alternative is to just let her have it at night? I also let my kids have it until they were much older then we came up with a plan to get rid of it together. I don't follow your logic, it sounds like you wanted to get rid of it because she asks for it but I don't think asking for it is a bad thing, more of a self soothing skill? At the same time, you are several days into it so maybe it is time to make the push. Good luck with your decision.

[Stephanie-MI]

I am going through the same thing, same age but a boy. We wanted to take his away because he would keep it in his mouth ALL day and it was stopping his speech development. We broke him cold turkey, he only noticed at nap/bed time. Cried for 1 hour the first night, 10 minutes the 2nd night and went right to bed the 3rd night. He started talking much better immediately!!! We went about a month with NO binkie at all, then lately he's been throwing fits at bed time or in the car and we caved and gave it to him a few times because I am 8 months pregnant and am so miserable and exhausted right now I just cant deal with it at times, but its not a regular part of his day now. We were out baby shopping yesterday and bought some binkies and he flipped and was trying to tear them out of the package. I am worried he will just steal his new  baby sisters binky out of her mouth all day and is another reason we wanted to break him of it.

My other 2 never had binkies, they never wanted them even as newborns. So he was my first to break off of it.

Stephanie

[beebalmmama]

My ds had his binky for naps and night time at 18 months. But not during the day "binky stayed in bed". He ended up weaning from it completely right before his 3rd birthday (no problems, no tears at all). We also nightweaned at 18 months because I was TIRED and so it was necessary for him to still have his binky to sleep. He had always been a high needs sucker so I think in our case it would have been too soon to take it away completely. Sounds like maybe for her too?