Originally Posted by msmiranda
I always get frustrated at those stories too, and I repeat, "not my baby, not my birth" like a mantra. I guess over time I have come to terms with the fact that most women do not care about birth the way the women on this board do. It's just not something they care to focus on (or don't have time, or whatever). There is nothing that we can do about it except maybe try to plant a small seed of doubt and hope they follow up on it. Most won't, but a few might. What's too bad is that after that first section, the rest of a woman's reproductive life can be complicated by her not having cared the first time around.
I wish I could come to terms with it too. It makes me furious to think that so many of these women are going to be ABUSED** by their care providers. I have a hard time standing idly by while innocent, trusting people are likely to be physically & mentally abused by people they put their trust into - people who SHOULD be caring for them & putting their well-being as first priority, people who SHOULD be focused on "first, do no harm." I have a hard time zipping my lip and just thinking, "not my baby, not my birth." But I know that's what I SHOULD do - it's just a big struggle for me.
"Plant a small seed of doubt" is a good way to phrase it. & I do try to do that with people who don't seem to want to talk about it.
But the other thing that makes me just crazy is that so often, these women sincerely believe and tell others things like:
"Oh, I just never dilated. I NEEDED that CS. I just didn't/couldn't dilate."
"Oh my baby was seriously in distress! The doc saved us with that CS! My baby would have died had I not had that OB to save him."
"I just never would have gone into labor. My body just wasn't working."
"I just don't have a large enough pelvis. Baby never would have fit."
& they tell others these things and it just perpetuates the existing American belief that birth is horribly dangerous, our bodies are dreadfully flawed, and birth requires medical "management" by OBs in hospital (and... therefore... you are insane for making the reckless decision to risk your baby's life by birthing at home.)
Soooo - that kinda irritates me too about this whole situation.
Originally Posted by limette
As someone who researches every decision I make (sometimes for years) it bothers me when people are willfully ignorant. Bringing a child into the world is the most important thing a person can do. To be so blase about it and let someone else make all the decisions about it is insane to me.
I think there's a big difference between someone who is "Willfully ignorant" & someone who just doesn't know what they don't know. For example, I've read other mama's here on MDC mention that with their 1st babies, they read books... but things like "What to expect" & just never realized how detrimental "medicalized" CB is. They DID attempt to educate themselves, maybe with the free hospital-based CB class, etc. but they never realized that they need to dig deeper & question their docs.
Then, on the other hand, you have women who ARE exposed to "the painful truth about American maternity care" (subtitle of the excellent book "Pushed") & still don't want to bother to get educated & make their own decisions. So THAT does bother me.
**For the record - I consider the following types of things "abusive" - for low risk mothers that is (I know cEFM can be good in some cases)
- Denying food & water in labor
- unnecessary induction - particularly OBs presenting it as very low-risk & just for convenience, or insisting even first-timers are induced for being 'overdue' at 41W!! (When actual average for first-timers is 41W1D.)
- Unnecessarily 'pushing' things along with AROM, pit
- unnecessary episiotomy
- Denying a laboring woman freedom of movement (via cEFM without telemetry) & access to hydrotherapy
- Needless separation of mama & baby
- CS for "suspected fetal macrosomia" (NOT recommended by ACOG, but done anyway)
- CS for FTP when baby is fine & not that much time has passed (a mama I just met said with her 1st she was forced into a CS despite refusing to sign the consent form after only 14 hours.)
Those are the types of things I'm calling "abusive" but that happen every day & it makes me nuts.