I could have wrote this thread. As far back as I can remember, I always envisioned myself as a mother to a girl. We found at the u/s of my first pregnancy we were having a boy. I quickly got over my girl-wanting mindset and got excited about my boy. With my second, we didn't find out gender. I KNEW it was another boy, and low and behold I was right. 2 brothers, how fun, blah blah blah.
This is my third and last pregnancy. My "last chance" for that dreamed about daughter. I caved at the u/s and there, plain as day, a penis. I remained calm the rest of the u/s, but as soon as we got to the car-I was balling. And then I didn't stop for the entire day. I felt so selfish and over-dramatic, but part of my dream about motherhood had been crushed.
I had such perfect girl names. I was already setting aside sewing/knitting patterns in my mind. I couldn't wait for a little one to actually care about the waldorf dolls I was making it! I still can't even think about the mother-daughter relationship I won't be having as my children grow older.
I'm still having a pity party(obviously) about it, but I can see the positive side of things now. I'm actually glad we did find out this time, because I surprised myself at how upset I was and I now I have time to get excited about boy number three, rather than holding out hope for the girl and being let down at birth.