Confused About a Doctor's Advice

[HopefullyMama]

I need some information from you wise ladies 

I just went on an interview for a nanny position with a young family who have a 9 month old.  She was 5.5 weeks early, so adjusted age would be just over 7.5 months old.  She is still nursing, but only at night and in the morning, on the advice of their pediatrician.  He wants her to ONLY eat food (or food thinned out with breastmilk) from a spoon, on the premise that he "doesn't want her to get too attached to a bottle, because she won't ever want to stop taking it."  He would rather her get almost all of her calories / nutrition from the 2 nursing sessions and oatmeal / pureed food.  

This sooooo doesn't sound right to me, but I didn't want to sit there in their living room during an interview (without a medical degree, having just met them) and argue with their doctor.  But still.....

She is not sitting up unassisted or showing interest in food.  She has had some early reactions to rice cereal (rashes and tummy trouble).  However, these parents have been forcing her to eat, as opposed to nurse.  I kinda brought it up casually, like "Huh, I've never heard of denying a baby this young a bottle for that reason.  Is there a particular reason he thinks she might get too attached to it?  Especially while still nursing?"  They just gave me a blank start.  They have obviously never questioned their doctor about this, and took his word at face value.

Any way I can bring this up, or maybe suggest some resources, without sounding like a know-it-all who thinks she's better that their trusted doctor?  Why on earth is he giving out this advice?!?!

[PatioGardener]

I am so angry for that baby and those parents!  I will try to have some constructive advice after I have had a Mama Bear moment. 

[craft_media_hero]

What? That's not even "mainstream" medical advice. The AAP says breastfeed for a year and the WHO says two years minimum!

I don't know how you could bring it up without risking your job or coming off as a know it all. That sucks. I guess I would just say, "huh, the AAP says breastfeed for a year and the WHO says two years" or casually about how "it's great that you're mixing bm with the foods, since breastmilk is so much nutritionally superior to solids" plant that seed and then let it sit. 

Holy cow, I can't believe this! I think that it would be really hard to be in that nanny position as you would have to do what the parents say and give the baby cereals that are obviously not age appropriate.....GRRRR!!!

I have to go now before I UAV

[annettemarie]

Moving to Life with a Babe

[sapphire_chan]

When a friend had a bad supply problem, she was told to SUPPLEMENT (not replace) the breastfeeding her LO would do with very high fat foods like avocado.

But then, she was working with a good doctor.

Maybe the family misunderstood? Maybe they're passing off their own ideas as being "from the doctor"? Maybe their "doctor" is actually grandma or an auntie who was a nurse 20 years ago?

[MacKinnon]

Wow! I seriously suspect they misunderstood and/or came up with this plan and presented some version of it to the doc who wasn't listening or didn't understand. Mainstream medical advice is very clear that breastmilk or formula should be provided as the main source of calories to a year. Honestly, that sounds like a difficult nanny position. I can't imagine that baby is content all day? Unless she is missing enough calories she is listless an weak, and she might be if she's not hitting milestones, that would be awful to watch. I use to nanny and turned down a position when the parents views clearly very much clashed with my own. I wasn't going to be able to be the kind of child care provider they wanted. I'm sorry for that poor baby!

[sosurreal09]

That is really dangerous! Someone needs to do something here.

[Hannah32]

I can't help thinking that they might have misunderstood the doctor. That doesn't make any sense. Or they are following some sort of odd plan and are trying to cover it by claiming its medical advice.

I'm more pro-solids than most people on this board, but I certainly would never restrict my son's nursing. He eats a ton of food for a seven month old, but he nurses at least 5 times a day WITH bottles of breastmilk when I'm at work.

[Mosaic]

I agree... that sounds wrong. Maybe he's anti-bottle, but they could still do sippy cup, straw cup, regular cup feeding!

[sapphire_chan]

I wouldn't take the job. When the baby got hospitalized or worse, they'd blame you.

[MamitaM]

It's hard to be a nanny and not know how to tell parents they are doing something really dangerous with out running the risk of being told you don't know what you're talking about b/c you're "just the nanny" or something. I'd send them an e-mail saying something like:

It was great meeting you and your family. I've never heard of the feeding advice your doctor gave you before so I did a little research and this is what I found. (include a link or two) I'd love to talk more about it if you have any questions.

Hopefully they really look into it and realize their doctor is very wrong.

[HopefullyMama]

Thank you all for your advice, and thanks for moving me to the proper place to be!  *duh* Life with a Babe makes alot more sense. 

Anyway, I am going to turn down this position, and send them an email with some resources.  And you all are totally right, it absolutely made no sense to me when I heard it.  I had to have them explain it to me like, 3 times: "Oh so you're nursing? Oh, only twice....so bottle-feeding mostly, then?  No?  Food this early?  Wait, food and breatsmilk?  He said WHAT about bottles?".  I'm sure I seemed reallllllly competent.  And that sucks, because I'm actually really good at my job.  

And perhaps they are just invoking "doctor" when they really mean "my own ideas" or "aunt sally's advice".  I can't be sure.  They were pretty quick to pull out his name and everything though.  I suppose it would be inappropriate to contact him directly, what with HIPPA and all.  Mostly I was a little shell-shocked by it, and left the interview thinking if that really just happened.  

Anyway, thank you ladies so much.  If you have any more advice, keep it coming!  

[jennybear]

I'm not defending the advice, but is the baby eating quite a bit of solids? I know by 9 months, DD (who still nurses many times/day at 13 months) was eating TONS of table foods and theoretically could have started dropping some nursing sessions.

Obviously, it's not ideal, but if she's not eating a TON of food I'm really scared she's significantly malnourished. :( Poor bug (and poor you--sounds like a very uncomfortable situation).

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by jennybear 

I'm not defending the advice, but is the baby eating quite a bit of solids? I know by 9 months, DD (who still nurses many times/day at 13 months) was eating TONS of table foods and theoretically could have started dropping some nursing sessions.

Obviously, it's not ideal, but if she's not eating a TON of food I'm really scared she's significantly malnourished. :( Poor bug (and poor you--sounds like a very uncomfortable situation).

From the OP "She is not sitting up unassisted or showing interest in food.  She has had some early reactions to rice cereal (rashes and tummy trouble)." This isn't a solids-loving baby.