"Safe" Sleeping Campaign Targeting Military Families- what do you think?

[ThinkGlobalMama]

http://cs.mhf.dod.mil/content/dav/mhf/QOL-Library/MHF/259655.html

Check out the notice I got today...

There is a blog too, which will feature "experts" on the subject.  As a part of my job I am supposed to be promoting programs to help military families (everything from financial assistance to youth programs) but this is one I'm struggling with.  As a co-sleeping, AP mama and who knows LOTS of other military families who do the same, I can't in good conscience promote this type of information.  The way I see it, our frequent moves, our unpredictable life and daddy's constant absence is the very reason I co-sleep.  And frankly, there are times when a crib or baby bed just isn't possible! Like when you don't get your household goods for 3 months or they send you to temporary housing and the pack n' play provided is so gross you wouldn't put a dog in it! I have trouble understanding how as a nation we can give lip service to promoting breastfeeding but then tell parents they have to sleep separate from their babies.  This seems so contradictory to me.  How do others deal with these conversations when they come up? Not just "why do you do it" but addressing the campaigns, the experts and the contradictions?

[elus0814]

My husband is military and I can't stand programs like that that treat military parents as slow and unable to make basic decisions without the DOD ok-ing it. If I had to 'promote' something like this I would focus on safe cosleeping, discourage lots of pillows, fluffy bedding, and so on. I agree with the 'a recliner is not a baby bed' idea, maybe just talk about those points and and not the 'you must buy a crib and keep it set up throughout moves' part of it.

The worst part is 'unintentional unsafe practices .... placing an infant in bed with adults'. Sorry DOD but that is totally intentional. Ug.

Let's just hope tricare will cover help for babies who end up with deformed heads from sleeping on rock hard crib mattresses and spending all their time in carriers.

When my eldest was born the med group had a social worker come to my house. I thought they were being nice but in hindsight they were checking up on me. She was nice, didn't mind that we coslept, and applauded me for making baby food. If they make a policy of things like this it could lead social workers like that having to discourage parents from doing what is best for their children.

[elus0814]

I have a slightly off topic question for you: Is there a way around the ban on unvaccinated kids being in youth programs?

Our kids have never been able to participate in sports, youth center programs and events, respite child care for families of deployed members, etc. I've even asked what the big deal is if everyone else is vaccinated but they have no answer. 

[ThinkGlobalMama]

That is a good question, and one I am going to deal with too, as my 18 month old son is also not vaccinated. We have made serious life re-arrangements to get around vaccinating in the military- i.e. not taking overseas orders (for more money and interesting life!) and moving my mom in with us so I wouldn't have to send my son to a CDC (who won't take him.) I know there are burdens to going against the grain, but I often feel that there are MORE than our fair share as a military family. Let me do some homework on the vaccinating thing- my guess is that each branch is different. While we are Navy, I know people through work who are Army youth program staff so I can check with them.
 

Originally Posted by elus0814 

I have a slightly off topic question for you: Is there a way around the ban on unvaccinated kids being in youth programs?

Our kids have never been able to participate in sports, youth center programs and events, respite child care for families of deployed members, etc. I've even asked what the big deal is if everyone else is vaccinated but they have no answer. 

[mcoreen]

I think it depends on what the campaign is telling parents.  Co-sleeping is definitely ok, but should be avoided by smokers, obese, or anyone under the influence of drugs or alcohol.  Also many parents will sleep on a sofa or in a recliner with the baby because they think it's safer than in a bed.  They'd be much safer in a bed that is set up properly for co-sleeping - not too soft, no big blankets, no gaps for the baby to get caught in.  And an infant shouldn't sleep next to an older child. 

I guess you could tell parents about the program, but to take it with a grain of salt & suggest they do their own research into safe sleeping practices.  If you're following the blog yourself or disagree with any of the information provided you could contact the coordinators & provide good references for more accurate information.

[FiveLittleMonkeys]

It is things like this that make me so glad that my husband has retired.

Looking through it briefly, as someone who led several FRGs throughout my husband's service, I would laugh out loud if someone came to me and asked me to put this in the newsletter.  As an FRG leader, it is none of my business where your baby sleeps.  Now, if you call and ask me, I can direct you to several different agencies, but I would support this agenda.  Besides, our newsletter was always full of, you know, things the families were interested in - like their soldiers, the upcoming ball, and any number of things that were going on in the squadron.

I noticed that you are in Hawaii - enjoy it for me!  We just left there, and miss it TERRIBLY!!  

[Calliope84]

DH just got out of the military. All I have to say is that I am so happy we are out! Why does the DOD treat military members and their families like children? I remember I was late on a library book I had borrowed on base and the library called DH's command!!! WTH? Nowhere else would a library call my husband's employer to have them reprimand him for having an overdue library book. It is like the school calling mommy to tell her her son forgot to return his book.

I think co-sleeping would be very beneficial to military families and I know a few who practice it.

PS. We also just left Hawaii!!! I really miss the laid back culture there and how "green" people are. Buy a bubble tea for me! I can't find them at all on the east coast.

[FiveLittleMonkeys]

Originally Posted by Calliope84 

DH just got out of the military. All I have to say is that I am so happy we are out! Why does the DOD treat military members and their families like children? I remember I was late on a library book I had borrowed on base and the library called DH's command!!! WTH? Nowhere else would a library call my husband's employer to have them reprimand him for having an overdue library book. It is like the school calling mommy to tell her her son forgot to return his book.

I think co-sleeping would be very beneficial to military families and I know a few who practice it.

PS. We also just left Hawaii!!! I really miss the laid back culture there and how "green" people are. Buy a bubble tea for me! I can't find them at all on the east coast.

Oh, bubble teas!!  Stop it, you're killing me!!  I can't find them anywhere where I am either (Savannah)

[ThinkGlobalMama]

Thanks for the support ladies! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels a bit "talked down to" by our lovely DoD. I have visited the blog and made comments, which to date have not been posted as they are being "mediated." Hmmm. Wonder if they are just going to screen every comment that doesn't agree with the original post?

As for the vaccine issue and youth programs, I did some checking and apparently it's a bit piecemeal and some parents have gotten around it by using their state's "refusal for medical treatment" waiver or some form of the religious exemption form.  But this is not guaranteed- one Navy program said they let kids in with the form, another one said no. One Army program I talked with said no vaccines, no entry. Period. But then a lady in the office said unofficially, she has let kids in and just buried the file and no one ever asked. 

Some of the things I have my toddler doing now (Gymboree) does not require vaccine data- but Wee Play preschool does. It all seems so hit or miss, and whether you know someone, etc. 

[JudiAU]

Maybe in your comments make clear that co-sleeping/bed-sharing is not the same as "getting drunk and sleeping with baby on counch" which is I thought what they were impling. Also, SIDS is not the same thing as infant suffocation.

[ThinkGlobalMama]

Agreed- why is there so much misinformation about co-sleeping out there? I even have family members who tsk tsk at co-sleeping because they worry others will think it's weird and "sexual" ?! Like, sssshhhh don't talk about that, people will think you are strange. ??

Anyway- if you want to read the blog the link is here:

http://www.blog-brigade.org/archives/1758#more-1758

another mom also posted a pro-cosleeping comment and wanted to make sure the blog didn't turn into a "baby furniture ad" haha! Love it.

thanks ladies!

[elus0814]

Originally Posted by Calliope84 

DH just got out of the military. All I have to say is that I am so happy we are out! Why does the DOD treat military members and their families like children? I remember I was late on a library book I had borrowed on base and the library called DH's command!!! WTH? Nowhere else would a library call my husband's employer to have them reprimand him for having an overdue library book. It is like the school calling mommy to tell her her son forgot to return his book.

I think co-sleeping would be very beneficial to military families and I know a few who practice it.

PS. We also just left Hawaii!!! I really miss the laid back culture there and how "green" people are. Buy a bubble tea for me! I can't find them at all on the east coast.

They do treat everyone like children! When we moved where we are now I was alone with three kids under five, had a house full of boxes, didn't know anyone, and had no help at all. Less than a week after we moved in the privatized housing manager (what a mess that is!) stuck a note on my door that said I needed to remulch the flower bed in the front yard. I had just moved in and signed a lease that stated they were responsible for anything outside the fence. They hadn't even laid sod over the sand as they said they would, and still haven't nearly two years later, but they wanted those flower beds covered in new mulch. I ignored it. A week or so later they came by personally, two of them, to tell me again. I explained there was no way I could leave three kids (including a three month old) in the house to do it, there were bears out at night so I couldn't go out then, and I had no one else to do it. They told me to drop the kids off at the CDC and I told them no way. Then I said no, showed them my lease, and kept arguing it. They threatened to call my husband's flight commander in KOREA. I told them to go ahead since he was the flight commander. I still have not remulched those flower beds and now am refusing on principle. 
 

I've also had the med group refuse to let me take my kids into appointments when there was nobody to watch them. DH got an O6 friend of his to call. No problems after that!

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by elus0814 

Originally Posted by Calliope84 

DH just got out of the military. All I have to say is that I am so happy we are out! Why does the DOD treat military members and their families like children? I remember I was late on a library book I had borrowed on base and the library called DH's command!!! WTH? Nowhere else would a library call my husband's employer to have them reprimand him for having an overdue library book. It is like the school calling mommy to tell her her son forgot to return his book.

I think co-sleeping would be very beneficial to military families and I know a few who practice it.

PS. We also just left Hawaii!!! I really miss the laid back culture there and how "green" people are. Buy a bubble tea for me! I can't find them at all on the east coast.

They do treat everyone like children! When we moved where we are now I was alone with three kids under five, had a house full of boxes, didn't know anyone, and had no help at all. Less than a week after we moved in the privatized housing manager (what a mess that is!) stuck a note on my door that said I needed to remulch the flower bed in the front yard. I had just moved in and signed a lease that stated they were responsible for anything outside the fence. They hadn't even laid sod over the sand as they said they would, and still haven't nearly two years later, but they wanted those flower beds covered in new mulch. I ignored it. A week or so later they came by personally, two of them, to tell me again. I explained there was no way I could leave three kids (including a three month old) in the house to do it, there were bears out at night so I couldn't go out then, and I had no one else to do it. They told me to drop the kids off at the CDC and I told them no way. Then I said no, showed them my lease, and kept arguing it. They threatened to call my husband's flight commander in KOREA. I told them to go ahead since he was the flight commander. I still have not remulched those flower beds and now am refusing on principle. 
 

I've also had the med group refuse to let me take my kids into appointments when there was nobody to watch them. DH got an O6 friend of his to call. No problems after that!

Hahaha I like that they threatened to call your DH's boss and he was the boss. They truly are ridiculous!