Can you (how?!) force a toddler to eat? - Page 2

[Carolyn_mtl]

I've posted my own threads about my dd's lack of eating. She is almost 17 months now, and still refuses all solids. I nurse her on demand, and somedays she nurses like a newborn, almost hourly. Other days she will go a few hours in between (depends on her mood, teething, colds..) At night she uses me as a pacifier, and therefore eats a lot all night. We have had her evaluated by an OT, and we go to the feeding clinic every 2 weeks. She doesn't have any texture issues or oral motor issues, she just chooses not to eat. The drs (especially our ped) insist that I night wean. I attempted to spread out her night nursing, which just resulted in a tired, fussy, insecure child, who still would not eat. In fact, she tends to have more success when I do not try to limit her nursing and try not to make such a big deal about eating solids. She has started to bring food to her mouth and chew on it or suck on it, but always spits it out. She also recently (within the last month) started to drink water from a sippy, she never used a bottle (read that REFUSED all bottles). She won't drink any pumped milk from the bottle though, only water. She's 29.5 inches and about 18 lbs, (born 8lbs, 20.5 inches). The drs are concerned about her lack of growth, but she is happy, active and starting to speak. 

I have worried about her lack of solids since she was 8 months old. I am starting to see she is gaining interest, and I honestly feel she will eat when she is ready. It's hard when you see other toddlers eating everything they are given. The drs are actually trying to push appetite increasing drugs, which I am not for at all, like I said, we have the most success after she's nursed, I really don't think she isn't eating due to lack of appetite. They will eat when they are hungry, but only if they are ready for solids. Mine is getting there, very very slowly!

[kismetbaby]

I don't have any wisdom for you, b/c I am in the midst of having a toddler that won't eat myself!  

My DS isn't skinny (yet), but only b/c he still BFs constantly at 16mo.  I really thought that by this age he'd be eating a lot of real food.  Although in comparison he does have a few things that he'll always eat (hummus, bread, refried beans, and berries), but I worry that its not very healthy to eat the same 4 foods all the time.  Can't get him to eat anything green.  He won't drink smoothies.  He just stares suspiciously at anything that isn't one of the 4 things he'll eat.  Urgh.  So far we've been dairy free (b/c he was intolerant as an infant) and we're vegetarian, so I feel like I don't have a lot of options left.  

 I'm just hoping that eventually he will decide he wants to eat and not need to BF every two hours. 

[mckittre]

My skinny 23 month old seems to need to be reminded to keep eating.  He's gotten less picky, but super distracted.  Literally between every bite we need to redirect him to eating, with various cheerful questions or comments like "are you eating?"  "what's in your bowl?"  "is that a sweet potato?"  "do you want to eat more salmon?"  "can you put some peas on your spoon?" etc...  If we don't, he'll just be playing and talking and turning around in his chair and doing anything but eating.  Of course the past few days he's been in a phase of throwing food on purpose, so we tell him he has to get down, then he forgets about food altogether and misses dinner.  Leaving food out for him doesn't help much, since toys are more interesting.  Ice cream works, though. 

[misidawnrn]

I didn't read all of the replies but DD 23 months is just now getting to where she will usually eat what we are eating. She only weighs 23 pounds but I think she looks healthy.  She loves pasta and chicken and steak-as long as it's medium rare and tender...not overcooked.  Hates hamburger, hot dogs etc.  SHe will eat junk till the cows come home if I let her and she loves veggies but HATES fruit.  The only fruit she will eat is grapes.  I did get her to eat one slice of an apple once but it was used for dipping and eating Nutella.  Now she won't eat an apple again but will eat Nutella with a spoon.
I have found that if I put BBQ sauce or ketchup on her plate, she will eat better if she is in an eating funk. SHe will even eat the BBQ sauce with her spoon.  Good luck

[flightgoddess]

Does she like drinks better than food? Make smoothies out of anything.

[RiverandJulie]

A couple of things that helped my ds eat.  Granted, he was younger (about 12 months when he really started to eat).

I would sit on the floor and eat with him.  He seemed to like this better, I never really forced him in a high chair.

The thing that really helped him though, was spending a weekend with my sister and her 18 month old and 3 year old that he loves.  The first weekend we spent with them, he was at a point where he would eat a few bites a day of yogurt and that was it.  That weekend, he ate every meal with us.  whatever I was eating.  I really think watching his cousins eat made him want to eat.

At about 12 months, we spent a few days with them, and his eating really took off from there, he started eating every meal and really enjoying it. 
All uphill from there, now we cant eat without sharing with him.

[Baby_Cakes]

Em, DH and I used to make this pudding for Nora, she gobbled it up.

http://www.vegfamily.com/babies-and-toddlers/weight-gain-veg-toddlers.htm

Dad's Sneaky Pudding 

This recipe was created by Earthsave International's Chair of the Board of Directors, Louisville Lawyer and amazing chef, John Borders.

• 1.5 cups frozen strawberries
• 1 banana
• 1-2 tsp. carob or cocoa powder
• 2 tsp. flaxseed oil
• 3-5 Tbsp. nut butter (cashew or almond)
• 2-3 Tbsp. orange juice or other healthy juice such as carrot juice
• 2 Tbsp. fortified soymilk
• 1/8-1/4 avocado

Set your little companion up on a stool beside you, ready to toss in the ingredients and push the button. Place all the ingredients in a food processor or blender. This works best in a food processor; you might add a bit more juice or soymilk if you use a blender. Blend until smooth. 

Makes 2 servings. 

Per serving: 336 calories, 7 g protein, 40 g carbohydrate, 19 g fat. 

Messy but healthy and full of good fat and calories!!

[nextcommercial]

Sometimes, you might need to make a carnation instant breakfast or ovaltine once or twice during the day.  (if she'll drink that)   It's not good to drink your calories, but if it gets a few more in her, it's worth it.

[Amber Lion]

Thanks again, everyone!

A) Keeping food out for her results in said food being thrown all over the house.  Okay, check, moving on to another idea.

B) No matter what we've tried, she remains in an eating/no eating cycle.  At least we've succeeded in upping the amount she eats, when she eats, but it does not matter what it is or how sneaky you try to be - if she's in her not eating cycle she won't eat a thing.

C) Having her help make whatever it is increases her interest.  She will usually at least try it if she's participated.

D) She will eat ice cream, chocolate, candy, & butter at anytime.  We tried going with the theory of just letting her eat it, but it resulted in sugar spike + meltdown cycle repeated over and over again.  We're back to limiting the sugar & trying to get her to eat healthier things.

E) Have tried a smoothie twice, once was successful the other completely unsuccessful.  Again, if she's eating she'll eat it, but if not... nothing passes those lips. 

She's obviously had another growth spurt b/c she's got 1 1/2 inches of wrist sticking out from her sleeves & at least an inch of ankle - but now she looks even more skinny with her flat little tummy & looooong skinny legs.  She also hiked about a mile uphill yesterday before nap, jumped on the couch non-stop for about a half hour after nap, then ran about 1.5 miles on our evening outing.  She's got better muscle definition than I do!  I think I'm just going to have to trust that she's healthy & following in her Papa's footsteps - very tall, very skinny, & will only eat when he's hungry despite it being "meal time" or his high energy lifestyle.   

[DomerJen]

DS is 23 mo and 21lbs.  He's been off the charts for most of his life.  I fluctuate about the whole thing, but right now I'm sticking with the adage: "You can control what you serve, and how often you serve it.  You cannot control how much your toddler eats".  I do worry that he's not going to live up to his potential - mentally and physically - by not getting the fat/calories he needs, but I am really trying hard not to make it a battle.  I serve him food I know he likes, about 5-6 times per day.  He eats relatively well in the morning and things taper off through the day.  We can see his ribs, but he looks relatively healthy - growing taller, getting smarter, good complextion, shiny hair.  I've been really hesitant to do shakes (I want him to eat his food, not drink it), but I do spike his whole milk with 1/2 and 1/2.  I used to use heavy cream, but he didn't like that nearly as much.

[aldensmom09]

I am so glad to have found this thread!

My son was born at 35 weeks, 5lbs14oz (not bad for being so early!). He was a champion nurser and gained weight so quickly in the beginning- trippled his birth weight by 4months, deliciously chubby baby. He was up to 29lbs at 11 months (i don't know percentiles, we don't see a mainstream doctor). He (and I) have been dairy-free (except butter) since figuring out that he was casien-intollerant/allergic when he was about a month old, and he's gluten free after trying out wheat crackers at about 13 months and having a reaction. I minimize gluten in my own diet because it tends to make his eczema flare up. We've done baby-led weaning. He eats a huge variety of foods, but hardly any in terms of volume. Some days we're lucky to get a few blueberries and a bit of egg and a cracker into him. I make lots of bone broths and make fermented veggies and so on, but can't really get that good stuff into him. Though he absolutely LOVES rice, so I try to make rice in broth for him. Aaaannnyyyways, He is 20.5 months now, and 26 or 27 lbs. He doesn't look skinny to me, still has a little belly, but so much thinner than he used to be. He is a real boobie-boy, and nurses a lot, and through the night, be he is starting daycare full-time in 6 weeks and I am a bit concerned about that, where he won't have access to my milk. Hopefully he'll just start eating then? In the meantime I am going to try some of these ideas that you have posted! I think the smoothie will be a hit! And making rice in coconut milk would be an awesome way to get some extra fat in!

[gracemamma]

Just thought I'd add something here as well as give my thanks too for all the great suggestions.

We did baby-led weaning too which worked great until 13-14 months when the world just got too interesting to stop for food. She loves juice, raisins and sweet tastes but alot of times wouldn't touch my lovingly prepared, organic buffet of goodies. So we started doing those things I never thought I'd do following the BLW track. I'd spoon the food for her, play airplane, pretend to feed Daddy etc. And it worked.  Spooning the food for her seems a bit like its going into unconscious eating(and a bit silly for an 18 month old who can feed hersself!) but I always say whats on the spoon and make sure she wants it.  I think she eats about 75% more due to these tricks. Not at all what I had in mind. One thinks kids will stop whirling about, get hungry and want to eat but it doesn't always work that way.  Good luck everyone else who's dealing with this!

[Carhootel]

OP, your post is SO familiar to me! You almost exactly described my son. I checked this book out of our LLL meeting and it has helped me SO much!

http://www.amazon.com/My-Child-Wont-Eat-International/dp/0912500999

[hakeber]

When DS went through this phase the trick for us was to give up on the idea of 3 meal times and let him graze.  We left him a little snack tray (it was actually like one of those craft oragnizing trays and filled each box with things we felt were okay for him to have: granola, biscuits, dried fruit and veg, pretzels,annie's bunnies, popcorn etc and in the fridge we had sliced up fresh fruit, mini yogurt cups, and small (1/8 of a normal sandwich) butter and cheese sandwiches, and a sippy cup with pumped BM.

9 times out of ten he would eat the whole tray in a day.  But try to get him to sit down with the family and eat three square meals and 2 snacks...forget it.  Not a bit would go in him.