So...We always though we wanted to have 2 kids that were 3-3.5 years apart. DD is 21 months now and that would mean I would have to try to get pregnant this summer. It's always been the plan but now that we are getting closer to it I'm really having second thoughts. Many of my friends with similar aged toddlers are having their 2nd babies or are pregnant right now and it seems to make sense in the way that I would have lots of 2nd time mama friends with similar aged kids...
But every time I think of getting pregnant again I start to get worried. I guess the main thing is that DD is still so much a "baby" to me even though she's almost 2. She needs my constant attention during the day to play with her and entertain her and at night to be able to sleep by nursing, and she still night-wakes ALOT to nurse. We still nurse alot during the day and cosleep every night and I have no idea how being pregnant and especially actually having a second baby would fit in to our dynamic.
I'm 3 years apart from my sibling and so is DH. I've always been told that 3 years is a great spacing because then the kids will be close enough to be friends (that is true for DH and myself with our siblings) and they will be in school together and can look out for each other. DH is really into having a close spacing because mainly he wants me to go back to work sooner rather than later. I'm committed to being a SAHM now but when my kid(s) start school I can look into starting to go back to work. He would like me to be pregnant with #2 now so we don't have to wait years more for me to go back to work but I can't imagine having another one at the moment.
But I was thinking of waiting longer. Maybe another year? Then they would be 4-4.5 years apart. In my mind that means that DD will be at an age where she is less of a "baby" herself and she will understand more about what a newborn baby needs and can even help me(?) sometimes with things. Also by age 4 I am assuming she will have weaned and be sleeping through the night most of the time and will be ready for her own sleeping space and can leave my bed for me and the new baby. Also she will have started preschool which might help me not feel so overwhelmed with being a SAHM of 2 during the day. But is that too much to ask of a 4 year old? Should I wait longer? 5 year spacing? Or is that really too long?
It's a really hard decision to make and I am just curious what others have done and what your experience is.