Hopefully I don't ramble too much and make this post too long!
I have a problem where during situations I feel may end up in conflict, actually end up in conflict or I worry about disappointing/hurting someone, particularly people I perceive as in a position of authority I physically react. These reactions usually include upset stomach, trembling and having the same feeling I had as a child when I was afraid I was going to be "in trouble" or actually was "in trouble." To be honest I think this happens 99.9% with my ILs. Maybe because I somehow see them as parental figures?
One example happened a few days ago with MIL and I posted about it here: http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1292673/handling-different-religious-viewpoints-in-a-family-when-it-is-causing-emotional-distress#post_16198797
Now that a few days have passed I can't believe I sat through that situation for almost two hours and let it get to where it went. Actually I can, I don't want to cause any problems with MIL nor do I want to hurt her feelings. Perhaps I have boundary issues?
Other instances of feeling this way has been during heated political discussions at ILs house that I am not a part of but I am present during and any time it seems as if someone there is going to get into an argument (kind of silly since no one fights/argues over there though sometimes discussions may get heated or FIL may get irritated with MIL over something).
One time, around Christmas 2009, MIL complimented my sweater and I told her I bought it at the GAP. She then proceeded to tell me that she isn't shopping there anymore because she claimed they are anti-Christian because of this commercial. Which led to DH trying to diffuse the situation with a joke then MIL and FIL got riled up about a topic thy are sensitive about. Well it was a prime example of feeling like I did something wrong, feeling shaky with an upset stomach - BUT I rationally knew I did nothing wrong. I chose to write of this story, though it happened quite some time ago, because it seems so irrational but these physical feelings I feel I have no control over.
Is there a way to calm or control these types of physical feelings? Half the time I rationally know there isn't a basis for them, even while I have them. The problem is also when I feel this way I feel like I can't properly respond to anything.