Feeling discouraged, need support

[April420]

In am located in Binghamton, NY. I am planning a HBAC, but my husband insists on a midwife. I have searched high and low for one willing to take on an HBAC and have had no luck. I am wondering if anyone out there knows of a midwife relatively near Binghamton that would be willing to work with me? I do have my heart set on UC and since we are not TTC until May, I have got time to convince my husband that UC is the way to go. 

However, I would at least like to know that there is a midwife out there that would participate in a HBAC...I am hoping one of you knows of someone. I asked my husband why he is against UC and he said that he isn't experienced enough and may panic in certain situations (such as blood loss..he said he wouldn't know how much is normal and would call 911 at the slightest bit) . He said the midwife is more for him than for me. He just needs someone to be there in case he has a question. I am just feeling so discouraged right now and I am not sure where to go from here. Thank you in advance for your advice and support!!    ~April

[LadyJennifer]

What about a doula who has at least supported homebirthers (or UCers), and who would be able to reasure him on what is normal?

[April420]

I think I could convince him to just go with a doula. I am ready to throw in the towel on this whole midwife thing. On some of their websites, it was almost like they were trying to convince you to buy a product...some of them had that horrible business-like touch. I just feel like I am just going to be there to fatten up someone's bank account and that's what I got with my old OB.  Now, am I going to run into the same thing if I start looking for a doula instead? I don't want to be turned down anymore  :(

[Rainystar66]

When I had my first UC my DH had a lot of concerns, even though we already had 4 children, and he knew what to expect...  We talked a lot, researched a lot., etc...  The nearest midwife to us was 2.5 hours away... I usually labor and birth in less time than that, and there are no doulas in our area, he finally agreed that as long as we had anyone there besides him to make the call he would be okay with it... So we finally sat down and talked to my MIL who is also like my best friend, and she was more than happy to be there in case we needed an extra hand, or second opinion...  Everything was just fine of course, and I really didn't need any of them there... lol, but it made DH feel more comfortable in the end, so it was worth it...

[LadyJennifer]

My hubby is kind of the same way. We've had two homebirths already, but this will be our first UC. I'm invited a doula friend to come so he'll feel more comfortable. Lol