how many times in a day should I nurse my 10 month old?

[Snapdragon]

We have shifted into this thing where I find myself feeding my 10 month old lots of food and I am breastfeeding a lot less. He also gets other fluids (water/ apple juice)

I am feeling guilty! He is healthy and happy. Some days I will only nurse him 3 times total- other days a couple more but only short sessions. Occasionally we can only do even 2 nursings all day. He basically eats breakfast lunch and dinner as food- and I think I nurse him less because I have a hard time relaxing while nursing him sometimes lately- some nursing sessions are good but others I am unsettled in . Anyway- should I be feeding him less than 3 meals of food and having just some nursing sessions for food? He usually nurses once or twice and night and once or twice in the day- but sometimes those are short nursings.

I think he is better off on those days where I Really make it a point to nurse him as long and often as I can. But sometimes I just get unsettled by the nursings with his teeth and all that- so- what sohuld I do? HOw many good long nursing session sa day/ night period should I aim towrads- and how much food? He eats big portions of food too. I know I shold nurse him before he eats often, but often times when he is really hungry and I nurse him, I get sort of scared off by his aggressiveness and opt for food instead. I hate that I get scared to nurse him! It is only since he has teeth that I feel this way. any kind advice? I know my dh's mom only nursed him till 9 months and then he had only foos- I want to nurse ds till at least 2- but I just don't know if it is okay at this point to just nurse him twice a day? please be kind this is a sensative issue for me and takes courage to post this on here!

[CheriK]

I'm glad you posted, and sorry no one has had ideas for you yet!  This is definitely a safe place to ask this kind of question.

My first thought when I started reading was what your ultimate goal was for length of nursing.  Many moms do plan to wean at around a year, but if you want to continue until 2, then I would think encouraging more nursing would be a good idea.  Until about a year of age, breastmilk (or formula, but not an issue here) should make up the majority of your DS's diet.  It's got the right balance of fats and protein for his still rapidly growing body and brain, it's more calorie- and nutrient-dense than almost any other single food you can offer.  Usually, the suggestion is to nurse first and offer solids second, so your milk supply remains high & baby fills up on your higher-quality milk before solids.  Often, moms won't even offer much to drink at this point, just nurse before/after meals, and maybe a cup with a small amount of water while he's eating.  Apple juice is empty calories; it will fill up his tummy, but is basically just sugar water, so not a great choice for a growing baby.

Has he bitten you?  It sounds like a real worry when you nurse. It might help to know that an actively nursing baby can't bite.  Most bites occur when first offering to nurse, especially if baby isn't really hungry, or at the end of a feeding when baby has stopped actively nursing.  A 10-month old can be told with words and by demonstrating to "open wide" while latching so those teeth don't scrape your nipple.  It's a good habit to get into, actually, because a lot of us get lazy nursing toddlers and end up with not-so-great latches.  If biting is an issue, bring it up as another question; many moms will have ideas to help.

I also wonder about exploring those unsettled feelings a bit more.  Has your period returned?  Sometimes hormonal changes can make us feel "touched out" or make our nipples more sensitive, so nursing can be irritating.  Milk supply can also fluctuate as your cycle returns.  Pregnancy can do the same, if that's a possibility.  If you don't think it's hormonal or concerns about biting, it might help to think about that feeling & where it's coming from. 

Your son is at a very distractible age.  Sometimes, moms will say their child weaned "by themselves" at around this age because they appear to lose interest in nursing.  Babies aren't really ready to wean this young, but they are so interested in the word around them, their increased mobility and ability to manipulate things, learning to walk/talk, that they can "forget" to nurse.  So those "ravenous" nursing sessons are pretty common.  It might help to offer to nurse more often - every 2-3 hours during the day, even going into a quiet room or turning down the lights and turning off anything distracting like music or TV.  If he's reminded, he'll probably be more interested.  And if he's not so hungry, he'll likely be more gentle.  They don't have to be long nursing sessions; at this age, he's also likely a very efficient nurser and quick nursings are more common for older babies and toddlers.

Do you have any friends IRL who are nursing older babies or toddlers?  Knowing what to expect and seeing older nurslings can really help.  If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to find a local LLL group so you can connect with other nursing moms.

[peacelove&camping]

i actually just had a consult with the nutrition department at children's hospital yesterday, and we discussed this :) my dd is 10.5 months old, and the dietitian said she should be getting 3 to 4 'servings' of bm a day, plus lots of solids. this is even if i planned to continue nursing past a year.

so i would say if he seems happy and healthy on the days you do just three, you're totally fine :) two is probably not enough, but if you're really uncomfortable with nursing more often, maybe you could 'power-pump' for a week or two and build up a bit of a stash for him to have in a cup.

he shouldn't need to nurse at night at this age, nutrition-wise. he should be getting enough calories from daytime bm and solids to make it like 12 hours at night comfortably. if you and he want to continue, though, that's totally fine too :) those sessions should probably be considerably shorter, since they're more of a comfort thing.

i don't nurse her before i feed her anymore--and in fact, a while ago i was worried too about how much bm she was getting. her schedule got a little crazy and she was pretty much finishing her 'big-girl meals' and going right to the boob, and then she wasn't hungry! :) i'm having a hard time fitting in both nursing and solids every day. just one or the other is fine, but it's like, that's 6 meals at least! :) so she gets three good meals of big-girl food, three full nursings, and one half-nursing, although we may drop that one soon. as far as i know, what your dh's mom did isn't really recommended anymore; if you're going to stop nursing before a year, they have to be on formula until then.

i think you're doing fine :) i don't know what to really say about the aggressiveness; like pp said, does he bite you? maybe you should try a straw cup [not a sippy]. babies figure them out a whole lot more quickly than you would think, and it's teaching them a life skill [unlike a sippy or bottle], and then he could still get bm until 2 or whenever you want, but you wouldn't be nursing. you would have to commit to the pumping though. this is what we're planning to do after 1, wean completely to bm in her straw cup until 2, but i just hate pumping so much i don't know if it's going to work :)

good luck man! :)

[Ruthla]

At 10mo, I think he should be nursing several times a day. It's certainly OK for babies that age to mostly nurse and just have "tastes" of foods, and it's certainly OK for other babies to nurse as much as they did at 5mo (ie, not nurse more than they did then) but make up the difference (the extra food a bigger/more active baby needs) through solids. I'm not sure whether or not it's OK for a baby that young to  actually reduce their milk intake. A lot depends on what the baby is eating in place of breastmilk.

Is the baby eating meat, egg yolks, and yogurt, or is he mostly filling up on grains and  veggies? Is the baby self-feeding or are you spoon-feeding him?

I'd suggest letting the baby self-feed, and then nurse after meals if he's still hungry. Are you co-sleeping? I used to do a lot of morning snuggles/nursies, and the baby/toddler/preschooler wasn't very hungry for breakfast (and it wasn't so hard on my body because I was half asleep when we nursed, so he was less demanding plus I was relaxed.) I remember DS having "breast-fast" before preschool, and what a shock it was to have to prepare breakfast for him after he weaned!

Also, make sure that you're eating enough- nursing can feel "too intense" when you're hungry or thirsty.