Hth do you get a toddler on a schedule?

[DevaMajka]

Dp had the idea that perhaps a schedule/routine might help with ds2s sleeping difficulties. To be brief, the problems are:

-totally inconsistent nap and bed times. ie: 2 nights ago, he went to bed at 9:30. Last night it was 12:30. He naps sometimes at one, and sometimes at 5pm, though typically somewhere between 1 and 4. Typically, he doesn't sleep more than 9 hours at at time- so if he's in bed at 9, he's usually up at 4 or 5 am, then goes back to sleep a couple hours later. However, 2 nights ago he slept 11 hours.

-he's definitely not getting enough sleep, which is apparent in his behavior. When his sleep is at it's worst, he has major tantrums and fussiness.

- some nights he wakes a lot- every hour or two. Other nights, he has a good 4-5 hour stretch.

-I think some of the problem is food sensitivities, and I'm trying to figure those out. Also, I've been giving him b12 and it seems to be helping a little bit.

First, I tried making it so he didn't nap past 2:30. But then what happens when he doesn't even start to fall asleep until 5? 2:30 is when we have to leave to pick ds1 up from school. Then I could see that wasn't working, so I started nursing him only in bed after ds1's bedtime routine (he goes to bed at 8pm, usually 8:30 though). That actually has helped a little bit, but not fantastically as you can tell from the 12:30 bedtime last night.

Then I told dp to leave the bedroom door open when he gets ds1 up for school, at 8am, in the hopes that the noise will wake ds2 up at a consistent time, and the rest will fall into place. He's slept until 9:30 or 10 the last 3 days. Well, at least that's consistent!

It's time to go get ds1 from school, and ds2 hasn't had a nap yet. Do I let him have a late nap? Or try to keep him up, and have everyone in the house be miserable, and leave him to deal with less than 10 hours of sleep for the day?

I don't even like routines and schedules, but it's become pretty apparent that ds2 needs one to get any sort of decent sleep, so I'm determined to make something work, somehow. HELP!!

[Pookietooth]

Having some similar issues here. Sleepless in America and the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers both have ideas.

[mom.of.two]

I love love love The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg.  She is very middle of the road as in she is very big on independant sleep but you teach it through a very gentle, loving way with no crying it out.  I've done it with all three of my children since infancy and they are all wonderful sleepers.  My 4 year old still naps 2 hours a day!  There is an online message board with a topic for sleeping for toddlers.  The link is:  http://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=34.0 

I hope that helps!

[Angelorum]

I was having trouble with this with my 17 mo.  His schedule fluctuated wildly, and he was definitely not well rested.  Neither was I.  I read Sleepless in America, and it suggested the first place to start with an irregular kid is with a consistent wake up time.  Figure out what time you want it to be and stick to it.  It was brutal that first night to set the alarm for 8, as ds kept me up for 4 hours in the middle of the night.  The next day we were both tired, but I knew he and I would be cranky and so I made sure I had time to have a good nap with him.  We don't get up right with the alarm, sometimes we lay in bed and nurse and  play a little, just make sure you don't fall asleep again!  It's been a couple of weeks, and there have been a couple of days we sleep in accidentally, but ds is sleeping much much much better!  He still wakes at night, but he's not wanting to get up and play for hours night after night like he had been doing for the past 4 months.  I'll take waking to nurse anytime  over the hell that was.  The other suggestion from Sleepless in America I've been trying to implement is getting him outside in the light to play after breakfast.  This is hard in the winter, but I do think it helps, to burn off some energy and also to set the body clock with exposure to bright light.  Good luck!

[Yuba_River]

I agree about the consistent wake up time. That became very important for us at that age. Also, I had to be really consistent about not napping after a certain time. That led to some cranky afternoons, but overall more sleep. Some kids sleep longer when they have an earlier bedtime--hopefully true for your little guy! Good luck.

[DevaMajka]

We've started getting him up between 8 and 9 (whatever time he wakes to nurse after 8am), and that's helping get his naps slightly more regular. BUT he still goes to bed between 9 and 11:30. So some nights, he's getting only 8-9 hours of sleep. I hope his bedtime regulates soon.

He's sick now, so that puts a kink in it, too. We want him to get plenty of sleep, so we're not inclined to wake him from his nap- he's still napping now at 5:30. He went to sleep at 2:30, which is later than I would have like anyways, but this is one really long nap! Who knows how much this will hurt bedtime :/

[D_McG]

The wake up seems late. I really like a 7-7 schedule for my kids. even my 4.5 year old now is on that. Bed at 7. Up at 7. I try not to let anyone nap past 3. My older child doesn't nap anymore but my DD does. actually she is cool. She will nap late even and still be tired at 7 (my son was not like that. Any nap after the age of 2 and he was up until 10pm. So no more naps after age 2 )

I put them to bed as early as 6 if the behavior that day isn't good.

Nightweaning eliminates nightwaking here.

[Angelorum]

Being sick always throws us out of whack too, I hope he feels better soon. 

I'd make sure to try and keep things calm in the hours before bedtime.  Dim the lights, turn off/put away any noisy flashing distractions (toys, tv).  Do you have a consistent bedtime routine?  I hate having schedules and routines, but I know ds needs it to sleep well.  Our bedtime routine consists mostly of the things he needs to do to get ready for bed anyway, I just don't have the patience by the end of the day to want to sit and read or sing for an hour before he can go to sleep.  You can do a mini version of the bedtime routine for nap time too, it could help.  Good luck!