So I've hit my range of due dates yesterday with my last possible due date being a week from today. The due date in my chart is next Wednesday. When people ask when I'm due, I tell them there will be a baby by Valentine's Day. I'm getting really excited!
I had sworn that I would refuse all internal exams for the standard reasons (can go from nothing to baby and can walk around with progress for weeks). However, today I decided that refusing the exams was my own way of trying to master/control my mind. I didn't want to know something that might be disappointing. I figured that ignorance was bliss. However, I realized that this logic really came back to bite me in the butt for the birth of my first child. I told them not to tell me how far dilated I was from the get go. That meant that I did not know I arrived at the hospital only at a 2 and should have just gone back home. Instead I stuck it out at the hospital and pushed for something that I really shouldn't have.
Anyhow, I just wanted to get a thread where I can get my thoughts off my chest.
Currently, I'm feeling pretty upbeat. I don't know the gender and I'm getting really antsy to find out. I'm nervous/anxious about whether I'll be able to manage the intensity of labor. I'm nervous about timing our drive to the hospital since it can take up to an hour, but no less than 40 minutes. My thoughts are all over the place.
Oh, and results from the cervical check: 2-3 cm, 60% effaced, 0 station. I'm further along now than I was when I arrived at the hospital "in labor" to give birth to my daughter. It's hard not to be excited about that.