Bringing DS back to the family bed at almost 21 mos?

[t2009]

So DS hasn't slept in bed with DH & I for a long time. He's VERY active, VERY alert & so we gently got him to sleep in his deprivation chamber (i.e. his own room in a crib) at around 10 mos (actually just under a year ago).

Well he's having a minor sleep regression & I'm really tired so we're thinking of trying to bring him back to bed with us upon his first waking in the night (which is sometimes his only waking).

We're going to try it out because we really really wanted to bed-share all along (but DS was just too active in bed with us after a certain point (as in up all night, wanting to play)) & also over the holidays we shared a room (DH & I in a very small bed with DS close by in a pack in play) and he STTN almost the entire time. I also napped with him in bed with me a few times & nursed him down on the bed--he fell asleep really easily with me. He now often requests to start out the night in our bed, so I think he's into it.

This little experiment may or may not work. That's OK. We often try to bring him in with us when he wakes up REALLY early (4:30 or 5) but he doesn't fall asleep at that time of the morning. My thought is that during the true MOTN waking he might fall asleep. Maybe I'm crazy.

So here's my question(s). We were really good about safe bed-sharing when DS was an infant, but I'm just not sure what we have to do now that he's almost two. Can we use our blankets (winter weight comforters right now)? Should we leave DS in his sleepsack & put him on top of the blankets? Do we need to get rid of extra pillows again (DH & I both like two)? Can we put him on the pillows? 

Also, would you try this arrangement? Am I crazy for wanting to do this?

Thanks for any advice or thoughts!

[sosurreal09]

Well I don't think you are crazy b/c I love bed-sharing lol.

He is old enough no that there is no special arrangements. Our DD is 15 m/o and we sleep with 3 pillows and 2 blankets (all together) She is usually curled up with me or up in DHs armpit (eww and LOL) it's true though

[oconnor1124]

Once they are crawling, you're good with regular bedding again! The risk of suffocation goes way down since they have control over their body! Our DS is still coming into the bed between 1 and 5am - if he gets up after that, we're up for the day. 

[t2009]

Thanks for the reassurances!

So evening #1 was a dream (seriously, I've always loved the idea of bed-sharing & have pretty much been hugely disappointed that we haven't found a way to make it work...). DS woke MOTN, I got him & he fell asleep quickly. He slept well (and late!) & we all enjoyed cuddling.

Evening #2 was not so good. He woke up after sleeping most of the night in his crib. DH brought him into bed, but DS just would not lie down or fall asleep in the bed with us (which is pretty much what I feared would happen & what had in the past led us away from bed-sharing.

We'll keep trying & experimenting. Anyone have any ideas or techniques for getting toddlers to actually fall back asleep in the family bed? Is this normal or is it a product of him being accustomed to sleeping on his own?

Thanks again!

[sosurreal09]

He won't nurse to sleep?

Hmmm well everything doesn't always work out and if he does do better on his own you may have to go that route,

What time did DH go get him? If it was like 4am that may have been too late for DS and he may have been like "oh hey daddy is here!!!"

Also my DD gets pumped when daddy comes home. He doesn't get home until like 10pm some nights. Last night he was home at like 8 so he put her to sleep after she had milkies. If DH is home she will not cuddle with me and sleep it has to be him! He loves this of course lol

Anyways DH and I went back downstairs after and at like 10:30 she was crying for me so I went to bed. Then at 3am she was jumping on me and laughing. I was like what the truck? Then I realized that DH was not in bed.

So seeing daddy is exciting, but also not having him there makes her flip out too.

The reason I am saying this is b/c you might have to be the one to get him! I know that stinks but it may solve it, or not.

DD likes to be held and snuggled right into your body and have her back rubbed with me. With DH the same but like his arm around her and her belly rubbed with his thumb. I love her! lol

Hopefully you guys can find something that works!

[t2009]

What?! I have to get off my lazy, sleepy butt when I can send DH in?! 

Yes, that might be it. Especially if he was expecting me & then it was DH, he probably was excited. Also, it was close to his "any-interaction-and-I'm-awake" time, though it WAS a little early for that (3:30).

That said, last night DS STTN so we didn't even try to bring him into bed. DS is so very inconsistent...

Normally, he will nurse & fall back asleep (whether in the rocker or in bed on that first night). So, the experiment lives on... we'll see what tonight brings.

BTW, sosurreal, that is SO cute about your DD snuggling & each rubbing her back or belly! See... this is why I want bed-sharing to work for us! The snuggles are just too precious!