Behavioal problems

[asch8]

I would like some insight on what you think on my son recent behavioal problems. He is 3.5 he is fine motor and speech delayed. he has anxiety and low muscle tone. He has self help and social skills problems. he doesnt play with any kids his age.

he was assesed for autism but they dignosed anxiety instead because he made eye contact and he was social with adults. He also played with toys correctly for his age. I not 100% certain that he is not on the spectrum but no doctor will agree with me.

My concerns His behavior has gotten bad. He kicks, punchs, hits jumps on people. Someone could say hi to him and he will go up to them and punch them. Granted its not hard hes 3 and has poor muscle tone but still I tell him no, I put him in time outs, I have even given him little swats on the bottom.Its not working. At the same time when he gets yelled at for doing this he gets very sad (he has a very tender heart ) he will cry and sign sorry to me but as soon as time out is done hes back to it.

Now at the same time. HE does it to other kids and for instance the teachers at my older sons school. His cousins his aunts and uncles, grandma and grandpa, He doesnt do it to me when he gets home from school but he is only awake for maybe 45 min. after he gets home form school then its nap time and when he wakes time to go to school to get his brother.

I am at a loss. What do you think

[RiverTam]

Those types of problems can be related to his speech delay. A speech therapist can work with him on teaching the correct behaviors.  You can also do this. He may just not know the correct behavior and isn't learning it through observation.

An ABA program that reforces the correct behavior and works on extinguishing the punching behavior would probably also be helpful. 

[asch8]

Thanks for the reply. I have to talk to his teachers but they have not mentioned that he was or is hitting at school. school does not talk to me daily but i would hope that if he is hitting and punching they would tell me. he is not getting ABA just speech and ot. and then teh classroom setting. Its just so frustrating. I am debating if i should take him to see a develpmental peditrion. we have never been to one. just regular ped, neuro, gentics, orthotics, urology, and hemotology. 

[~cassie]

My 3 1/2 yr old is kind of like that.  He is also speech delayed(about 10 months behind) and has low tone so some things are difficult.  He doesn't really play with kids yet, just parallel play still.  He doesn't strike other kids at school, but when at home, he can be BAD.  Kicking, hitting, pushing, all out attacking when he doesn't get his way.  I think a big part is the language delays--feeling like I am not understanding what he is wanting and him not understanding fully that he just can't do/have that right now.  Add in a strong willed personality, and I am always convinced he has some other behavioral issue.  I do a lot of "scenarios" with him, showing him the proper response to certain emotions, letting him hit/throw a pillow instead of hurting his baby brother, and things like that.