or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Understanding Circumcision › When did you become anti-circ?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

When did you become anti-circ? - Page 3

post #41 of 53
Quote:
How great to see a group against circ!! There is no need for it and doctors make it worse pressuring to say don't retract foreskin of little boys, WRONG!! believe me you should start retracting your baby son's foreskin right from the first time you clean his foreskin, it will be clean, germ free and as he gets older he will keep the sensitivity for full sexual pleasure.
Quote:
I'm sorry but you are wrong gentle retraction from a very early age of the child's foreskin will make things so that the foreskin is not tight later. The family and circle of friends I am from has a total of 11 males all of them had their foreskin carefully manually retracted right from nappy changing stage and every one has a very good, relaxed & retractable foreskin and none have needed circumcision. Its time medical people came to reality that's the way to help cut down on the amount of medically needed circs

We are happy to welcome you to the CAC and hope you stick around and learn why we tell everyone to not retract.

It can really hurt your child. While the foreskin is not made of glass and easily broken it can develop scar tissue causing major problems for the boy down the road. One of the reasons circ became such an issue here in the USA was the advice to retract at ever diaper change from birth. This lead to many boys who even after puberty where unable to retract due to the scar tissue. My older brother was one of those boys he "had" to be circed at 3yo because he got an infection and because he still wasnt retractable. Of course neither of those things is a reason to circ but my mom didnt know better just like she didnt know to leave it alone so my brother paid the price for it.

To understand why retraction can be so bad for a infant/young child you need to understand how the foreskin works. It is attached to the glans of the penis like the finger nail is to the nail bed and the tip is a sphincter like the anus. When not in use it clamps down to keep germs, poo and other things out. It only releases to let the urine pass. By forcing this sphincter open you can damage it causing scar tissue to form it can also cause micro tears that allow bacteria in. Like the anus no stretching is required and like the anus doing so can cause pain and issues down the road.

Another thing I want to point out by telling people they need to mess with their ds's penis so much it will really put people off keeping their ds intact because like me the idea of messing with their ds's penis that much really makes me uncomfortable. Just like it would if I would had to mess with my dd's genitals that much. It also lends credence to the myth that the intact penis is more work than the circed one when that isnt the case at all. Like the vagina the intact penis is self cleaning, if you where to constantly clean inside your vagina you would have issues just like you will have issues by over cleaning of the intact one. Especially one that isnt retractable yet.

Think about it this way. We dont have to "train" other parts of the body either male or female to do their job so why would we need to do so with the foreskin? It dosnt add up.

It isnt necessary and it is potentially damaging. If it isnt ready to retract and you make it go back to far it could get stuck behind the glans and that is a major problem. I understand you said gentle manipulation but even that can cause problems simply because you cannot feel if it is hurting the child and by the time you know it did it is to late the damage is done.

The rule is no one but the owner of the penis should ever retract it. Starting when your ds is old enough to understand have him pull back as much as he is comfy with rinse with clear water and replace. Until he reaches puberty it isnt even necessary to do that but it is a good habit for him to get into. Before that you wipe like a finger only from base to tip and otherwise leave it alone and dont let anyone else mess with it. Here in the USA we have major problems with Dr.'s retracting the penis and causing harm on infants and young boys. You are lucky that you live somewhere that the Dr. know better.

I understand that you have had many members of your family who did this with no problem but odds are they would have became retractable when puberty hit like the body was designed to do and they wouldnt have had to deal with someone messing with their penis so much.
post #42 of 53
Having trouble with getting pages to load so I cant edit my pp so I am going to add links on proper intact care in this post. If some of the links are dead I will come back and fix them later because right now it wont let me preview them so I can check.

http://www.kindredmedia.com.au/library_page1/only_clean_what_is_seen_reversing_the_epidemic_of_forcible_foreskin_retractions/401/1

Care: http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/aap/

AAP Intact care guide: http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/aap/

Natural progression of retractability: http://doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/retraction.html

PDF leaflet retraction age: http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/pdf/retractileforeskinleaflet10-2005-dan.pdf

NOCIRC leaflet: "Answers to Your Questions About Your Young Son's Intact Penis"
http://nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf

NOCIRC leaflet: “Answers To Your Questions About Premature (Forcible) Retraction of Your Young Son's Intact Penis"
http://www.nocirc.org/publish/6pam.pdf

American Academy of Pediatrics: “Care of the Uncircumcised Penis” http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/aap/

"Correct and Incorrect Hygiene of the Baby's and Child's Intact(Non-circumcised)Penis"
http://www.infocirc.org/top.htm

MORE TECHNICAL/SCIENTIFIC READING:

"Caring for the uncircumcised penis: What parents (and you) need to know"
http://www.cirp.org/library/hygiene/camille1/
Thorough pediatric journal article, with editorial notes by CIRP, includes discussion of non-surgical care of foreskin problems.

"Penile Hygiene for Intact (Non-circumcised) Males"
http://www.cirp.org/library/hygiene/

Care intact penis: http://www.circumstitions.com/Care.html
post #43 of 53

Thank you for posting those links!  I've printed off a few articles that I will take to future doctor's visits, so I have information in case she tries to disregard my comments about non-retracting as she has in the past.

post #44 of 53

The first time I had sex with an intact guy, about 10 years ago.  It was a totally different experience, and a much better one.  I don't want to tread in forbidden waters, but before that I thought something was wrong with me, since I didn't have orgasms during sex and needed lube.  With him, everything was different - and it wasn't about the emotional connection; it was purely physical.  Something was fundamentally different.  I know that's not the case for all women, but for me, sex without a foreskin is like a margarita without tequila!

 

I was intrigued, and started to do research about the foreskin, its purpose, and circumcision in general.  I learned pretty up-close and personal that it wasn't "dirty".  The reason I didn't enjoy sex as much was because of a missing body part, missing for no good reason at all.  The more research I did, the more I became convinced that the practice needs to end.

post #45 of 53

I was 18, and honestly I can't remember exactly what triggered me into being anti-circ. I was getting into the natural birth scene (doula training) and it seemed like everywhere I turned online, I saw people talking about it. The intactivist side just made sense to me on a basic level; even if you personally prefer cut penises (in a partner, lookswise, whatever) and you feel certain your son will too, you will never know for sure what his future preference for his own penis will be. Plus, you can always take it off, you can't exactly put it back on. Even as an ignorant teenager, the pro-circ side never made sense to me because they were the ones forcing their ideas on another person, while claiming that intactivists were the pushy ones. I tend to side with the lesser of two crazies :lol

 

It was solidified for me when I saw videos. After doing some research about the long-term physical affects (without being too graphic), I realized that my ex-DP had very noticeable (but totally common) side effects from being cut. I sincerely hope my forever DH is intact, but regardless, someone would have to kill me before I'd ever allow a knife near my son's penis.

post #46 of 53

When I got pregnant with DS(4), I was adamant about not circ'ing just because of "looks".  Unfortunately for us DS was born with pretty bad hypospadias with chordee and dorsal hood, a true medical reason for needing to get circumsized. The Ped. Urologist could have restored his foreskin but she wasn't confident about the procedure, and it could mean more surgery if things went wrong, so DS had the surgery at 6mo(at the doc's insistence since we were getting out of the military. I still feel guilty about this....

post #47 of 53

I grew up in a family where as far as I knew, all the men were circ'd, and my dh is circ'd. I've never had an intact partner, and really didn't think about it until I was pg with my son. I remembered reading an interview with Ewan McGregor, and he was very forthcoming with info about his penis, and his being intact. I had had a crush on him for a *long* time, ;) so I had to wonder why anyone was circ'd if Ewan wasn't! I started doing research, came across MDC, and that was that for me. My dh was a little dubious at first, but when our son was born with inguinal hernias (and therefore very enlarged testicles), the last thing dh wanted was any further trauma to ds's genitals. He has since, seeing how smoothly things have gone for our ds, crossed over and become one of us! :) Ds is *still* the only intact member of the family, though I suspect my grandfather and fil are both intact, they're not the kind of men to come out with that type of commentary in mixed company. ;) I've tried to talk sense to my sil, but both of my nephews are circ'd. After years of never having seen a normal, healthy, intact penis, it's amazing to me how quickly my son became the norm, and my nephews look damaged to me. Of course, that's because they ARE damaged. :(

post #48 of 53

n

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lizzie View Post

I grew up in a family where as far as I knew, all the men were circ'd, and my dh is circ'd. I've never had an intact partner, and really didn't think about it until I was pg with my son. I remembered reading an interview with Ewan McGregor, and he was very forthcoming with info about his penis, and his being intact. I had had a crush on him for a *long* time, ;) so I had to wonder why anyone was circ'd if Ewan wasn't! I started doing research, came across MDC, and that was that for me. My dh was a little dubious at first, but when our son was born with inguinal hernias (and therefore very enlarged testicles), the last thing dh wanted was any further trauma to ds's genitals. He has since, seeing how smoothly things have gone for our ds, crossed over and become one of us! :) Ds is *still* the only intact member of the family, though I suspect my grandfather and fil are both intact, they're not the kind of men to come out with that type of commentary in mixed company. ;) I've tried to talk sense to my sil, but both of my nephews are circ'd. After years of never having seen a normal, healthy, intact penis, it's amazing to me how quickly my son became the norm, and my nephews look damaged to me. Of course, that's because they ARE damaged. :(

 

Bolding mine, but I know EXACTLY what you mean.  I was fortunate enough that not only is my dh intact, but he's been my only sexual partner so I don't really know another way.  I worked in a child care center for the last few years, though, and every boy's diaper I changed there, aside from my own kiddos, contained a circed penis.  It made me so sad.

 

Anyway, having an intact dh is probably what saved my first ds, but the more I knew the less I was inclined to see it as a "choice" or "normal."  It actually makes me feel kind of sick to think about the whole process.
 

post #49 of 53

I was 20, after meeting my now husband. We met online, were friends for months and ended up meeting. He told me that he was intact. I remember him telling me too. We talked about being intimate with eachother and he said, "As you know I am 1/2 spanish and circumcision isn't the norm in Mexico." I had never seen an intact penis, not even a picture that I can remember. But I remember not being uncomfortable at all with that, even though I had only ever been with circed men. I told him that was fine, no problem at all! Upon being intimate I found it more arousing and attractive...I was really interested. Everything was better. Foreplay from me to him was fun even. When talking about future kids I was just concerned about cleanliness (my hubby certainly wasn't dirty), but remembering what I'd heard for baby's cleaning routine I was interested. My husband said, "You're not supposed to retract it! The child will when he is ready. There is nothing to 'clean'." That sealed the deal for me. I remember asking, "Well then WHY are people even considering this?"

Now even IF you had to retract and clean (but you DON'T AND SHOULD NEVER-only clean what is seen) ;) I still would have kept our son intact, but that's just what I remember thinking at the time, when I was younger and more naive.

post #50 of 53

I'm pregnant with a baby boy, and we intend to keep him intact. A few months ago my fiance and I went with his parents to Sam's Club, and my fiance turned to me and said, "There's something else we need to discuss: circumcision. I think we should do it. I mean, it's cleaner." I hadn't thought about it before that point, but I told him I'd do some research when we got back home, but I just had a funny feeling about circumcision. Hours later, when I started reading off information to him(he's been circed), he was stunned. He had been led to believe, just like many, that circumcision was a natural procedure done to ensure the cleanliness of the penis. So that's when I became against it. I was intrigued by how so far off my fiance had been led to believe that it was cleaner, and how normal it was for so many to feel that way. It just seems so....logical that it's perfectly normal thing to keep. I was appaled at the procedure done on infants, and I've never been able to bring myself to watch any videos, or see any pictures. 

 

post #51 of 53
I know from real life experience too. My DH is intact and wasn't ever retracted by his parents and had no problems whatsoever. My 9 year old son is retractable, since he was 5, we never ever retracted his foreskin and he never had an issue with is foreskin. He just told us one day hey look what I can do. Our younger son is 4 and is not retractable as far as we know since we have never tried to retract it either. He did have a bit of swelling one time that went away on it's own, over 2 years ago. No problems since. I will never be convinced that messing with their foreskins and trying to retract them would have resulted in any better of an outcome.
post #52 of 53

I don't know exactly when I became anti-circ.  It kinda started when I had an intact partner for the first time - who is very honest about being very happy he was not circ'd (I asked him about it b/c I was curious), then when I got pregnant I was doing some research and thinking "umm....maybe not!".  THEN my mom said, "Don't circ if its a boy.  It's not necessary."  I found out that my brothers are intact (I don't even remember the last time I saw either of them naked - probably when we were3?? I don't know but it clearly wasn't an issue).  Then my ex's mom said that she didn't remember what a circ'd penis looks like after my ds was born.  I was like...."wait, WHAT??"  LOL.

post #53 of 53

My brother who is 5 years younger than I is intact, so I always knew that it was not necessary. I gave it no thought growing up and even into adulthood. I didn't really know anything about circ, my understanding was that it removed "extra" skin. I had never been with anyone who had "extra" skin so I naively thought my sexual partners had been circed. Yes, I was shocked to learn that when erect an intact man looks the same as a circed man and has no "extra" skin although, I had a very small list of sexual partners they had all been intact.thumb.gif

I did my research when my best friend got pregnant. I typed circumcision into google and was bombarded with views and opinion that I couldn't evaluate because I had no idea. I then typed in foreskin function, this is what got me. It's not extra skin it has a purpose. The biological function of the mucosa, ridged band and frenular delta were amazing. This lead me to the question, why did we in the U.S start doing this? The history left me shocked and disgusted. 

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Understanding Circumcision
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Understanding Circumcision › When did you become anti-circ?