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post #1 of 8
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post #2 of 8

You can't bring it up.  It would be completely inappropriate.  Made even more so by the fact that you are her boss. 


What you can do is buy the book "The Joy of Uncircumcising" (I don't remember the author's name, sorry) and leave it on your desk in her sight when you are discussing something else.  If she asks you about it, offer to loan her the book. 

post #3 of 8

Sounds like you care about circumcision and are passionate about letting people know the truth of all it involves.  But, being her boss at work doesn't give you any sort of authority in her personal life.  If you brought it up or tried to push any personal agenda with her, it could interfere with your working relationship.  Offering a book, if she wants it, would be a kind thing to do... it seems like that may be as far as it could comfortably and respectfully go.


* (and I'm also REALLY passionate about circ... but this is how I would handle your professional situation, if it were mine to handle.)

post #4 of 8
So gender is still unknown, right? Maybe we should all hope for a happy, healthy girl. Ha ha ha

How close are you two? Would you ever socialize outside work, or even eat lunch together? I think that you might have an opening to tell a story in a more social setting ... Something like, "i recall when i was pregnant with DS, and DH was deployed ... Stressful time! One of the things that stressed me out was whether or not to circ our baby. It seemed like such a big decison! But in the end, we didnt, and are sooooo glad we left him just as Nature/God made him! I cant imagine him any other way than just perfect."

(obviously edit to be more your words!)

Then stop. Youve opened the door, shared your experience, and odds are she will say something in response ... Which gets you in the door so to speak. She will prob come back with "huh? Isnt it cleaner?" type logic, and it will be your job to gently steer her in the direction of at least researching it independently. Like, "you know, once upon a time, doctors did believe that it was cleaner, but a lot has been learned in the past 20 years about circ. Have you thought about it at all?" and eventually, "would you like me to email you some resources so you can research this on your own?"

Then you have to leave it, and hope that she will research it, and that she will accept your email references and offer for further discussion on that or any topic ...

But, again, i think you have to do it in a clearly social setting, and when it is basically only the two of you and you are not talking about work...cant blur the lines.

I know this is diff than what prior posters said, so go ahead and flame me everybody! wink1.gif

Good luck! Hth.


post #5 of 8


I had the same situation. My male subordinate's wife is pregnant. However, we are pretty friendly and he actually asks me a lot about baby stuff. He didn't ask me specifically about circ so I didn't think I should bring it up. Instead, I have decided to buy him Penelope Leach's "Your Baby and Child". It is not anti-circ enough for me but she does a better job than most American baby books. Also, I sent him this link after we were talking about something else (antibiotics). http://www.cracked.com/article_18840_5-common-medical-procedures-that-secretly-arent-worth-it.html#ixzz1AJumT2hH


I am trying to slip in the circ stuff under the guise of other subjects.

post #6 of 8

Completely illegal to even bring it up never mind "ordering" her not to do it. I think even leaving a book on your desk is a gray area depending our your company. If you are friendly enough and she asks your opinion you could recommend some books, websites etc but even so you should tread very carefully.



You are passionately anti-circ.  I get it. But it has no part in a workplace relationship between a boss and their subordinate.


Our HR office got a serious complaint when a senior exec dropped off Ferber's sleep training book after an associate casually complained at the holiday party that their new born not sleeping. He left a note encouraging her basically CIO and how it worked for his kids. I am sure he meant well but she was horrified. The exec had to make a formal apology.


Another thing is she is not a single mom "unless he puts a ring on her finger".  Lots of very committed adults go on to have very successful relationships w/o getting married/engaged.  Many of them go onto be outstanding parents committed to raising their child together. Judgment much?? irked.gif

post #7 of 8

I would feel too uncomfortable bringing it up at a work setting with a subordinate (or a superior, for that matter). However, you could have one of those "penis packs" (I think that's what they call them) sent to her from Saving Penises. They are kind of expensive but maybe even NoCirc would send her some anonymous information. Maybe even giving her a copy of Mothering Magazine with a few other baby gifts and saying "Mothering also has a great online forum with tons of baby info, I'm on there and I hope you'll join" might be an easy, non-threatening way to expose her to positive intact info. I also like Vachi73's idea about a quick mention in a social setting that doesn't seem preachy but I would not bring it up in the workplace with a subordinate.

post #8 of 8

I also wanted to add to my previous post that I think anything you might have sent to her should be anonymous. Even if received off the clock, if it's from her "boss" it might get you in a HR nightmare and make the workplace quite hostile.

But I wouldn't shy away from a circ conversation with an equal co-worker if the opportunity presented itself during a the lunch hour or coffee break.

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