A couple of questions about names & nicknames

[Snowflake777]

I hope it's ok that I post this here - it doesn't seem to fit any of the other forums.

I'm 20 weeks pregnant with a baby girl and we're thinking of using the name "Isadora". I love the name, but I'm a little worried people will end up calling her "Dora", which I'm not fond of. We're in European country, and Dora is a common name here, while Isadora is almost unheard of. I doubt people will use "Izzy" - it doesn't make sense in the context of the language.

So I'm wondering, if your child has a name with an obvious nickname option that you don't like, do people still call them that anyway? I know I can ask people to use her full name, but I wonder whether it might be a losing battle, especially with people I don't know well.

Another question: DD1 doesn't have a middle name, and her first name is really short. I don't want to say her real name, but let's say it's "Lea". Would it be weird to use a middle name for her sister? Say DD1 is called Lea, and DD2 is called Isadora Charlotte. Would that be odd? I regret not giving DD1 a middle name, but I feel a bit silly having one kid with a super short name and the other with a long one.

Thoughts? TIA! :)

[gealach]

I have a name that is VERY easily shortened to a common nickname.   And, I just don't identify with that shorter name. As a child, I very quickly learned to politely request that people call me by my full name.   Yes, some people will shorten her name, especially ones that don't know you well.   But, either they will remain people you don't know well (which, then, what does it matter?) or they will grow to be acquaintances and friends and will honor your and her request to use her full name.   

One drawback I can see for you is that your daughter might decide she prefers the nickname as she gets older.  If you would be upset if *she* chose to use the nickname Dora,  then I would suggest rethinking it.    

[swd12422]

WSS... Kids learn very quickly to just say, "My name is XYZ." I found it was a lot harder to get people to use my nickname than my 3-syllable full name, although my nickname isn't an obvious shortening of the full version.

As far as your girls having a huge difference in the lengths of their names, I'd say it makes no difference.You should name your kids what you want to name them, and if DD1 WANTS middle name when she's older, she can add one. (Or she can just decide she wants to be called LeaBelle or whatever w/o it having to be made legal.) Kids frequently dislike the names they were given at some point in their lives and they try on new ones. Sometimes it's a phase they outgrow, and sometimes the nicknames stick (like mine did) and make it really annoying when you have to fill out forms with your full legal name on them and then try to get the folks using the forms to call you by the name you're used to hearing. But really, it's an insignificant "problem" in the grand scheme of things.

Name your kids whatever feels right to you, and let them sort out how their names work with their identities later on.

[mamazee]

I agree that the biggest issue is that your dd might actually like Dora, and if you use that name you should be prepared for that possibility.  My daughter's name is Sophia, and some people call her Sophie.  I like the name Sophie, but it feels like a different name to me rather than a nickname, and I would rather people call her Sophia, however she is old enough that she takes care of that by herself now, and she is fine with being called Sophie.  So your daugther might at some point feel that way too, or might actually prefer Dora to Isadora.  If you can't handle that possibility, I'd choose another name.

I wouldn't worry about the short vs. long name thing.  Your dd can add a middle name someday if she wants.

[rightkindofme]

My 4.5 month old is Callidora and we considered Isadora as well. :)  And I'm completely in the "Don't call her Dora!" camp. :)  So we call her Calli, often, loudly.  I make it pretty obvious that you can call her Calli or Callidora.  NOT DORA. :)

[ollyoxenfree]

If you will be really irked about having to correct people all.the.time about not using an obvious nickname, then just don't use the name. You will become frustrated. 

Sometimes nicknames take on a life of their own and there is nothing you can do about it. As a pp pointed out, your dd may prefer "Dora" and use it herself despite your wishes. If you can't live with that possibility, then just don't use the name. There are lots of nice names out there. 

I wouldn't be concerned about the differences between the lengthy of your dds' names. If you really want your first dd to have a middle name, it's not too late. Go ahead and pick one for her. Many cultures add names as children grow (first communion names etc.). 

[HollyBearsMom]

It will be easy for you to correct when your child is small.  You possibly will come off very annoying depending on how you do it but who cares if it is important to you.

I can still hear my friends haughty tone as she insisted her daughter be called Alex-AHN-dra not Alex-AN-dra. Most of us supported her but some people thought she was being overly pretentious and would go out of there way to pronounce it wrong. Her daughter is now 5 and goes by Lexie to everyone (at her own request) except her mother who still calls her Alex-AHN-dra and will not respond to anyone who calls her daughter Lexie.

However keep in mind that your daughter may decide she *wants* to be called Dora or Izzie. She may even decide at a very young age.  It is even possible that she might call her self Dora is the beginning if she has trouble pronouncing Isadora.

But does any of that really matter?  You can't run your life being worried about "what ifs" especially for something as trivial as a nickname. 

[prettymatty]

I agree that you'll have to decide if you will be ok with her possibly choosing Dora as she gets older. I LOVE the name Isadora though - it's beautiful!

My dd1 has a 5 letter name that isn't possible to shorten to anything. My dh calls her Litltle One and Ring Ting.

My dd2 name is Azaria and it's been shortened into Zar Zar and we are all ok with. Literally everyone that is involved with her life (my daycare parents, friends, family) calls her by her nickname. My mil is the only person that continually mispronounces her name. It drives me up the wall. Everyone corrects her and she still persists.

If you really want, give your dd1 a middle name!

[Snowflake777]

Thanks for all the input guys! :)

Good point about her maybe wanting to use Dora herself. For some reason that hadn't occurred to me. I guess I need to figure out how much it would bug me if she did use it. I don't loathe it or anything, it's just not the name I want for her.

As for middle names, I've thought the same thing about DD1 choosing one if she wants when she gets older. I kinda regret not giving her one (it was DH's choice), even more so now that I feel like I need to be consistent with it for future kids. I like middle names, darnit! Maybe I can convince DH to change things up 2nd time around.

[sewchris2642]

I agree with everyone else.  When we named Angela, I hated the name Angie.  Still do.  Fortunately, so does Angela.  By the time, Angela was old enough, she started correcting people and insisting on being called Angela.  As for the middle name, my sisters (twins, born when I was 10.5 months old) didn't have middle names until they were 14.  I did.  So when they were 14, they decided that they wanted middle names, picked out their own middle names and our parents filled out the legal paperwork, sent in the forms and money and gave them middle names.

Chris

[gbailey]

Why would anyone not support how a parent wants their childs name pronounced? If that's how it's meant to be pronounced they should just say it. Not difficult to say Alex-AHN-Dra instead of Alex-An--Dra. Reminds me of a 90210 episode when everyone thought pronouncing An-DREE-Ah instead of An-DREY-Ah was prententious. Even if it is, so what? Her child, her name pronunciation choice.

OP, my friends name is Christine and she hates when people call her Chrissy. Her mother does it and it drives her nuts. Your DD may very well not like being called Dora.

I personally don't care for the shortening of a childs name unless it's something they've chosen but if you like Isadora (it's a beautiful name) choose it.We wanted to name DD Victoria. I worried people would call her Vicki which is a nickname I don't care for but we ended up not choosing the name because that name didn't come to mind when we held her for the first name.

 

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

It will be easy for you to correct when your child is small.  You possibly will come off very annoying depending on how you do it but who cares if it is important to you.

I can still hear my friends haughty tone as she insisted her daughter be called Alex-AHN-dra not Alex-AN-dra. Most of us supported her but some people thought she was being overly pretentious and would go out of there way to pronounce it wrong. Her daughter is now 5 and goes by Lexie to everyone (at her own request) except her mother who still calls her Alex-AHN-dra and will not respond to anyone who calls her daughter Lexie.

However keep in mind that your daughter may decide she *wants* to be called Dora or Izzie. She may even decide at a very young age.  It is even possible that she might call her self Dora is the beginning if she has trouble pronouncing Isadora.

But does any of that really matter?  You can't run your life being worried about "what ifs" especially for something as trivial as a nickname. 

[lonegirl]

All I can say is....My name is Patricia.  My family (mom, dad, brother cousins grandparents etc) all call me Tricia/Trish.  This is what my parents wanted.  They hated Pat hate hate hate.  Well....in the second grade my best friend started calling me Pat.....guess what name I go by the most?  Pat.  I introduce myself as Pat.  All my family still call me Tricia or Trish and I always sign cards to family members as Tricia....everyone else I sign as Pat.  hubby calls me Pat and around family he sometimes calls me Tricia....it sounds awkward.

So  basically all I am saying is....well...if there is an obvious nickname/shortened form of the name....there is a good chance it will be used, whether you like it or not.

[HollyBearsMom]

OMG, I loved 90210!  Totally forgot that episode.

I agree, some of these "friends" got pretty nasty and I kept thinking "just wait until you have kids"... Everyone is a perfect parent before their own kids are born.  However I do think the mom has carried it way too far.  The girl 12, if she wants to be called Lexie then let her!

Originally Posted by gbailey 

Why would anyone not support how a parent wants their childs name pronounced? If that's how it's meant to be pronounced they should just say it. Not difficult to say Alex-AHN-Dra instead of Alex-An--Dra. Reminds me of a 90210 episode when everyone thought pronouncing An-DREE-Ah instead of An-DREY-Ah was prententious. Even if it is, so what? Her child, her name pronunciation choice.

OP, my friends name is Christine and she hates when people call her Chrissy. Her mother does it and it drives her nuts. Your DD may very well not like being called Dora.

I personally don't care for the shortening of a childs name unless it's something they've chosen but if you like Isadora (it's a beautiful name) choose it.We wanted to name DD Victoria. I worried people would call her Vicki which is a nickname I don't care for but we ended up not choosing the name because that name didn't come to mind when we held her for the first name.

 

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

It will be easy for you to correct when your child is small.  You possibly will come off very annoying depending on how you do it but who cares if it is important to you.

I can still hear my friends haughty tone as she insisted her daughter be called Alex-AHN-dra not Alex-AN-dra. Most of us supported her but some people thought she was being overly pretentious and would go out of there way to pronounce it wrong. Her daughter is now 5 and goes by Lexie to everyone (at her own request) except her mother who still calls her Alex-AHN-dra and will not respond to anyone who calls her daughter Lexie.

However keep in mind that your daughter may decide she *wants* to be called Dora or Izzie. She may even decide at a very young age.  It is even possible that she might call her self Dora is the beginning if she has trouble pronouncing Isadora.

But does any of that really matter?  You can't run your life being worried about "what ifs" especially for something as trivial as a nickname. 

 

[Spring Lily]

I have known people named Thomas, Jennifer, Andrew and Jonathan who did not go by nicknames, even though Tom, Jen, Andy/Drew and John are sort of expected nicknames.

Really it comes down to what the child likes. If the hear a nickname and like it, then that's that, regardless of what the parents want! Especially as they get older and go out on their own. I love the name Isadora, but if you don't think you could grow to like "Dora" if she decides to go by that, then you're taking a big risk.

[lab]

My son is Jonathan and he has always corrected people who try to shorten his name.   I instilled in him a love of his name from an early age and he readily told people 'Jonathan'.

He is 17 now and very occassionally goes by JB (B for last name) because his running coach likes to yell that out to encourage him rather than Jonathan.  I get that.   I do have a neighbor who insists on calling him Jon even though I have told her repeatedly that I detest that name for him.  To me - it is tantamount to calling him George.  It's not his name.   But he and I get a kick out of it - so it isn't a real biggie.

[Snowflake777]

Come to think of it, DD1's name has a silly, cute, old-fashioned nickname (something like "Fe Fe", but not that) and I'm the worst culprit calling her that. I've been calling her that since she was little and it's hard to break the habit. She's forever correcting me!

I don't know why I'm worried about Dora when I'm guilty of perpetuating "Fe Fe". Maybe they can be Fe Fe and Dora together.

[gbailey]

I confess to watching the reruns rather frequently but only the Brenda/Dylan years. After he hooked up with Kelly, I just can't handle it.

I agree with you though if the 12 year old prefers to be called Lexi. I think at 12 she should get over the nickname her DD prefers. THe more I think about it,  it's really not that serious. If we named DD Victoria and she prefered to be called Vicki,  I wouldn't gripe about it as long as I can call her Tori instead. LOL It bugs me when adults automatically shorten the name of a young child who hasn't expressed a preference. I wouldn't think to call Isadora Dora unless I heard her parents call her that.
 

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

OMG, I loved 90210!  Totally forgot that episode.

I agree, some of these "friends" got pretty nasty and I kept thinking "just wait until you have kids"... Everyone is a perfect parent before their own kids are born.  However I do think the mom has carried it way too far.  The girl 12, if she wants to be called Lexie then let her!

Originally Posted by gbailey 

Why would anyone not support how a parent wants their childs name pronounced? If that's how it's meant to be pronounced they should just say it. Not difficult to say Alex-AHN-Dra instead of Alex-An--Dra. Reminds me of a 90210 episode when everyone thought pronouncing An-DREE-Ah instead of An-DREY-Ah was prententious. Even if it is, so what? Her child, her name pronunciation choice.

OP, my friends name is Christine and she hates when people call her Chrissy. Her mother does it and it drives her nuts. Your DD may very well not like being called Dora.

I personally don't care for the shortening of a childs name unless it's something they've chosen but if you like Isadora (it's a beautiful name) choose it.We wanted to name DD Victoria. I worried people would call her Vicki which is a nickname I don't care for but we ended up not choosing the name because that name didn't come to mind when we held her for the first name.

 

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

It will be easy for you to correct when your child is small.  You possibly will come off very annoying depending on how you do it but who cares if it is important to you.

I can still hear my friends haughty tone as she insisted her daughter be called Alex-AHN-dra not Alex-AN-dra. Most of us supported her but some people thought she was being overly pretentious and would go out of there way to pronounce it wrong. Her daughter is now 5 and goes by Lexie to everyone (at her own request) except her mother who still calls her Alex-AHN-dra and will not respond to anyone who calls her daughter Lexie.

However keep in mind that your daughter may decide she *wants* to be called Dora or Izzie. She may even decide at a very young age.  It is even possible that she might call her self Dora is the beginning if she has trouble pronouncing Isadora.

But does any of that really matter?  You can't run your life being worried about "what ifs" especially for something as trivial as a nickname. 

 

 

[alexsam]

If it is a "natural" or common nickname for that name, it will come up. If it makes you nuts to just *hear* it, don't use that name. BUT I also think that it is your (and your child's) consistency that will determine if it sticks. My son has a name that is easily and commonly shortened to a nickname- Michael -> Mike. But we introduce him as Michael, talk about him saying MIchael, etc. and basically, every body uses Michael. No biggie.

[sewchris2642]

Originally Posted by lonegirl 

All I can say is....My name is Patricia.  My family (mom, dad, brother cousins grandparents etc) all call me Tricia/Trish.  This is what my parents wanted.  They hated Pat hate hate hate.  Well....in the second grade my best friend started calling me Pat.....guess what name I go by the most?  Pat.  I introduce myself as Pat.  All my family still call me Tricia or Trish and I always sign cards to family members as Tricia....everyone else I sign as Pat.  hubby calls me Pat and around family he sometimes calls me Tricia....it sounds awkward.

So  basically all I am saying is....well...if there is an obvious nickname/shortened form of the name....there is a good chance it will be used, whether you like it or not.

My family called me Christy growing up.  I decided in high school that my full name, Christine, was more grown up and started using that.  As an adult, I go by Chris.  My parents still call me Christy most of the time and my sisters use Chris/Christy about half and half.  My friends, co-workers, boss, dh, son-in-laws, and grandkids call me Chris. 

[elmh23]

My youngest is named Christopher and I hate Chris.  And Topher.  We call him Christos (ds1 cannot say Christopher and thats what he started calling him cause he can say it, we all just followed) or Christopher.  He's only 11 months old now, but when we named him we decided that we would let him go by whatever he wanted.  Christopher has so many nicknames, he'll have a ton of options.  Dh and I might always call him Christopher in addition to his chosen nickname, though.

As for other people, I introduce him as Christopher and correct them if they call him something else.  Most of the time at least.  I've found I don't care really when other people call him Chris even though I have hated that name since I was a kid.