The Point of Nursing clothing - help a formerly 100% non-modest mama fit in in her new city!

[IdentityCrisisMama]

I wish I had a better memory for that infant stage but I think the lack of sleep made the whole first 2 years a blur! Back with DC #1, I didn't have a nursing bra or any nursing clothing - I just wore v-neck shirts and pulled my breast out over the top.  I probably had my breast out in public about 20x/day.  But that was Santa Cruz, CA and Europe 10 years ago.  I now live in Baltimore City and spend my days with a very diverse group of people.  While I don't plan on being a super modest nurser, I would like to be a bit more discrete than I was back in the day.  :-)  

So...that brings me to thinking about nursing clothing.  I'm having trouble figuring out the point of it all.  I don't get the goal of nursing bras.  Are they about the logistics of holding and accessing breasts or are they also for discreteness?  'Cuz they don't seem discrete at all and they also seem like a PIA.  Nursing tops too seem like a good idea IF you're going braless but they also seem kind of pointless if you also have to reach in there to deal with a bra as well.  Are my instincts right about this?  

Has anyone found any nursing clothing that you think may work for me?  

What do you all wear if you want to be moderately discrete but you also nurse frequently in public?  

Should I just abandon nursing gear all together in favor of a pull-down v-neck shirt with a pull-up bra?  Or just skip it all rely on the tail of the sling and just hope that no 5th grade boys go home and tell their parents that they saw my boobs?  

[sosurreal09]

LOL I am a total v-neck with my boob flopping out kind of mama, but I know a lot of woman just wear a nursing cami with no bra. I have tig ol' bittys so I don't find enough support in them. I wear nursing bras and I just unsnap it and pull out the boob, it's just more comfortable than having the bra fabric all bunched up and whatever.

[pammysue]

I don't have any nursing tops and I am a pretty discreet nurser. I wear a tank top under all of my regular shirts. Then the top shirt comes up and the tank comes down. I use the fabric of the top  shirt to cover. I use nursing bras and regular bras, but mostly nursing for two reasons: 1. it can sometimes take extra maneuvering to get the cup out of the way which can lead to exposure and 2. regular bras are not designed for all the tugging and pulling involved. I find the support straps get stretched out much sooner. 

[~Amy~]

For me, the issue with a regular bra is that I like padded underwire ones and I find them really hard to pull my breast out of and put it back in.  Also, I find it really uncomfortable to have the wire all bunched up underneath, so it's a comfort issue for me.  I like to wear shirts that aren't v-neck sometimes (although I do the v-neck/boob out the top thing sometimes too) and I hate being cold so I want my stomach covered at the same time (again, out of my comfort, not modesty) and a nursing tank just seems to be the best option for all that to happen for me.  I've tried a couple nursing tanks and I strongly prefer the Bravado ones over the Glamourmom because I like the cup to drop completely.  I don't like part of it still left up when you open the flap...it just gets in the way like that.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Sosoreal, so you wear the nursing bras more for support and comfort than for discreteness?   I had always assumed for some reason that they were made for modesty more than anything.  Hum...

Pammysue, I thought of that method because it keeps the belly covered and seems pretty easy to do with regular clothing.  I have a feeling, though, that I would really hate all that fabric up over me.  Plus, I will probably be nursing in the sling 99% of the time so that's a lot to pull up with a sling around me.  I worry that I would be really uncomfortable with that method.  

Amy, I feel you on a padded underwire bra not working -- or really most style bras really.  I tried to pull my boob out of the bra I'm wearing tonight and it would NOT be comfortable!   So you wear a nursing tank instead of a bra?  And then your regular shirt?  That seems like a good plan to me.  I'll look into the tanks you mentioned.  

Thanks, mamas!

I'd still love to hear more methods but here is what I was thinking...

I don't remember needing/wanting a whole lot of support while nursing - though 10 years later and do have a greater appreciation for a nice bra.  :-)    

Maybe I can go with this type bra (quite affordable and in cute colors that would look more like a tank than a bra): http://store.americanapparel.net/7319.html?cid=219 with a v-neck over.  So, pull-down v-neck and pull up bra.  

This looks like a great bra IF it didn't come in such a "bra color" lol!  http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=919780361&MasterCategory_Id=MC29

I also think this type nursing tank looks really nice and easy (with any kind of bra) http://www.momzelle.com/details/43/nursing-tank-top.  I may register for one...but they're so expensive!  It seems like it'd have to be a pretty superior system in order to make it worth it, no?  Unless a less expensive company makes a similar shirt??  

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Ok, I looked at those Bravado nursing tanks and I totally don't get how the work.   Are they just like the clip down bras only with a tank?  So, if you want to pull down your top shirt...your breast would be pretty exposed because of the clip down type tank underneath?  Or am I missing something?  

Oh, I looked at the Glamormom site and they have better illustrations.  So is the discretion provided because there is still quite a bit of coverage even with the clips down -- like just a little hole for your nipple?  

I could see that being pretty interesting especially in the summer.  

[Chamomile Girl]

I'm a big fan of Target nursing tanks. They work great and can be discreet if worn with a cardigan or other button-up or zip shirt. I've lived in the darn things now for almost 18 months and having tried all sorts of other nursing clothing (most of which is really silly) I vote these.

Besides, they're cotton, they wash great, and they're only 17 bucks. They work great for nighttime too if you don't want to sleep nakked (ie. ). My nighttime uniform is one of these babies with a fleece button-up top.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Those look really nice, CC.  When you wear them with a cardigan (or alone if it were the summer) what level of discretion would you say they are.  I'm fine with ANYONE knowing I'm nursing but I kind of want to not show my breast to certain people.  

[Tjej]

I really like having a nursing bra (for support) and empire waisted nursing shirts.  Easy to use with a sling/carrier.  I've never been an "out the neck hole" kind of gal and I've always run from V-neck shirts, so we're obviously coming at this differently.  I find that with a nursing bra and empire waisted nursing shirt (well, the empire openings) that I can be doing just about anything and nurse and not really change anything about my clothes (my belly/back don't get cold, my chest stays covered, etc.).  I hate being cold, so I like it.

Tjej

ETA: I think the nursing bra /shirt coverage also prevents twiddling.  Never had a problem with it.  Always just had one available at a time.

[KempsMama]

I wear a Target full sling style nursing tank and a shirt over it, lift the top shirt up and unclip the tank.  I'm very large breasted and can nurse without showing anything this way, as long as LO cooperates and doesn't push my shirt up further, lol.

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by KempsMama 

I wear a Target full sling style nursing tank and a shirt over it, lift the top shirt up and unclip the tank.  I'm very large breasted and can nurse without showing anything this way, as long as LO cooperates and doesn't push my shirt up further, lol.

The tanks are not very discreet alone since you have to unclip an entire side and pop out a boob. But they work great for slings. And for side-lie nursing.

The cardigan does help not show the world your business. If I am somewhere where I will feel really uncomfortable then I layer a shirt (or another tank) over it.

[madcap150]

I have never been an out of the neckline nurser because my boobs just don't work that way. Not without ruining the tops within two wearings, anyway! That said, I think it is a little harder to accomplish the kind of modesty it sounds like you're talking about while nursing out the top-- because then you don't have a built in piece of clothing to cover you at the top, KWIM? I think nursing out of the neckline is probably most modest if you do it in an Ergo, mei tai, etc where it's hard to see what's going on.

To keep the budget low, I've done a couple of things. I am a lift-the-shirt-up kind of nurser and don't mind the fabric there, so they may not work for you, but I just want to throw the ideas your way!
*nursing tanks from Target, as mentioned, with a shirt over-- either a T-shirt top that I lift or a cardigan/wrap style that I just move over for more coverage
*specially made nursing tops with nursing bra under-- reach in at the neckline to unclip the bra, then nurse through the nursing opening
*get two tissue tees from Target (light for summer), cut holes in the "underneath" one. Use whatever bra you like and nurse through the openings you cut.
*wear a tissue tee and a nursing or whatever bra, lift the shirt, and bunch your carrier around your waist if you don't want people to see your belly (this is what I did a lot the summer my DS was tiny)
*you can also consider getting this style of nursing "cover" This looks like it might work for what you are wanting-- a little more modesty that still lets you nurse out of the top of your shirt and doesn't interfere too much with baby.

[~Amy~]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama 

Ok, I looked at those Bravado nursing tanks and I totally don't get how the work.   Are they just like the clip down bras only with a tank?  So, if you want to pull down your top shirt...your breast would be pretty exposed because of the clip down type tank underneath?  Or am I missing something?  

Oh, I looked at the Glamormom site and they have better illustrations.  So is the discretion provided because there is still quite a bit of coverage even with the clips down -- like just a little hole for your nipple?  

I could see that being pretty interesting especially in the summer.  

Yes, I usually wear the tanks instead of a bra.  I am a E when nursing and they provide enough support for me.  Yes, you would be pretty exposed in a Bravado one if you pulled your shirt down.  I usually pull mine up instead, mostly because I don't like stretching the necks of my shirts to get my boob out...LOL.  As far as the Glamourmom ones go, I find the hole isn't really big enough (YMMV, of course) and the bit left up bugs me.  I don't really find them any more "discrete", just because for me, the coverage isn't really in the right place so I end up yanking fabric around anyway.  The Bravado ones just fit my body better and I find them less fiddly to deal with.  And more comfortable, nicer fabric, etc.  Again, YMMV...try to find somewhere to try them both on to compare if you can.  I know lots of moms like the Target tanks too...I've never tried those.  I have a couple from Motherhood as well....I wouldn't recommend those to my worst enemy...LOL.
 

[catfood]

Before I had my babies I thought that I'd want nursing tops and everything like that but it didn't work out that way.  Now I prefer just wearing regular shirts and nursing bras.  I just pull the shirt up and it's super discreet. For me, nursing shirts are too much trouble.

[sosurreal09]

Originally Posted by Tjej 

I really like having a nursing bra (for support) and empire waisted nursing shirts.  Easy to use with a sling/carrier.  I've never been an "out the neck hole" kind of gal and I've always run from V-neck shirts, so we're obviously coming at this differently.  I find that with a nursing bra and empire waisted nursing shirt (well, the empire openings) that I can be doing just about anything and nurse and not really change anything about my clothes (my belly/back don't get cold, my chest stays covered, etc.).  I hate being cold, so I like it.

Tjej

ETA: I think the nursing bra /shirt coverage also prevents twiddling.  Never had a problem with it.  Always just had one available at a time.

I dont take out both boobs at once! ? There is no twiddling here

Yes OP I find nursing bras to be more comfortable. I am the complete opposite of a discrete anything lol I live in a SMALL town and whip out a boob for my 15 m/o anytime any place. People can talk all they want. I am just feeding my kid!

I perfectly understand people wanting to be discrete though.

I am 23 y/o and I figure WTH, I got nothing to hide. It is obvs I am nursing and guess what people THIS IS NORMAL!
 

[Nicole730]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

I'm a big fan of Target nursing tanks. They work great and can be discreet if worn with a cardigan or other button-up or zip shirt. I've lived in the darn things now for almost 18 months and having tried all sorts of other nursing clothing (most of which is really silly) I vote these.

Besides, they're cotton, they wash great, and they're only 17 bucks. They work great for nighttime too if you don't want to sleep nakked (ie. ). My nighttime uniform is one of these babies with a fleece button-up top.

I live in these tanks.  I'm technically a 36G, but I make it work.  :)  I wear one under everything and pull my shirt up without worrying about my stomach showing.  I use the top of my shirt that's scrunched up to cover any exposed breast. 

[PatioGardener]

I haven't read the previous posts, but want to say that I love love love my nursing tops. I love them because there is no extra material to bunch up or down - just these silts in the top that move aside. Unsnap nursing bra, move slit material aside, latch baby on and I'm good to go. I feel well put together in my tops. Professional. I can get baby to breast with minimal fuss. I can leave the wrap or sling on and not worry about pulling a shirt up or undoing buttons around it.

I love that I nurse at conferences and in banks and in professional meetings etc. and I feel good. I used to feel flustered with pulling a shirt up and a nursing tank down (although that is my favourite at home outfit) and now I feel confident. That confidence helps people around me feel confident and comfortable too - it's 'catching' :)  I firmly believe that moms need to do whatever they need to do to feel comfortable nursing anywhere baby needs to nurse. For me it's my awesome nursing tops, for others it's a pull down V neck t-shirt and others it is a nursing cover.

[SubliminalDarkness]

I was in DC when DS2 was a baby. Similar dynamic to Baltimore.... I wore a nursing tank under a t-shirt, lifted up the t-shirt, unhooked the tank, and nursed like that. Very modest, but not "discreet" per say. I didn't have any desire to hide nursing, just my actual breast. LOL.

I also think nursing bras are overrated and overpriced. I never owned an item of "nursing clothing" aside from the tanks. 

[sosurreal09]

i get 2 bras for $20 at walmart.

[L J]

This has been a very informative thread. I never really did get nursing clothes either, with my first. I tried a few nursing shirts, but then dealing with the bra underneath was just a pain, and it seemed like the nursing shirts all got stretched out really quickly early in the day. Maybe I just wasn't wearing high quality ones. I have very small breasts, even while nursing, so I am able to be discreet just by wearing a tank under a t-shirt, or a bella band, since my belly is really the only thing I am squeamish about showing.

This time around, different husband, and he's pretty insistent that I look for some nursing clothes. We met before my oldest weaned (at 3) and it drove him nuts that I was nursing in public and not covering up all the time. But seriously, with boobs as small as mine, I don't see how anyone could see anything. The baby's head is way bigger than my boob. I'm not in a place in my life where I feel that I need to be modest to keep up appearances or put others at ease, but I am going to try and respect DHs feelings.