immunities, other kids, play group

[mommariffic]

So I have a question for mommas out there! 

Once a week or so we do a play date or play group with some other natural parents, and it seems like almost every single time there IS a group my DD ends up sick. We take vitamins, eat healthy, and she's got a really good immune system but lately I see that people are bringing their sick kids (or contagious) kids out, and it results in at least one day of icky feelings. 

Do I stop having play dates? 

Are there are ways I can boost her immune system?

Is it okay to email the members of my group and ask that they keep contagious/sick kids home (I also have a babe)?

Is this just life? I know that we should not raise bubble-kids, but this is just sort of annoying. 

Edited by mommariffic - 1/23/11 at 4:00pm

[deditus]

It's life, it's very normal IME. My dd was sick a lot during the winter she was 18 months and I couldn't handle it so we stayed home. She was not healthy, as I hadn't figured out all of her food intolerances at that time. I think it is unreasonable to expect a child with a normal, mild cold to stay home except at the peak of their illness. Now if my child had diarrhea, high fever, anything rashy, strep, etc, I wouldn't dream of taking her to playgroup but the tail end of a cold, we go out.

Boosting her immune system - elderberry syrup is good, probiotics and probiotic foods, zinc, CLO, vitamin D. Good luck, I know it can be frustrating.

[Llyra]

Unfortunately, I think it's a fact of life with little ones. Kids this young will get like eight or nine colds a year, plus the other illnesses they get. It sucks, doesn't it? With DD1, we avoided group situations, until she was three. Then she started some preschool, and got SLAMMED by all these bugs she hadn't gotten exposed to while home with me for three years. She wound up missing almost a quarter of the school days I'd paid for. So the next time around, I was less cautious when they were toddlers-- they got sick, a lot, but now they're three and sick a lot less frequently than DD1 was at this age. So I think the only benefit to avoiding other kids, is that you get to put off the sick for awhile. As soon as they start spending time with other kids, it's bound to happen.

I take normal precautions-- washing my own hands a lot, washing theirs frequently, keeping noses wiped and discouraging them from sharing food and drinks. I don't know that it helps all that much, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something.

I would expect people to keep their kids home if there was fever, vomiting, diarrhea, contagious rash illnesses, cruddy stuff like ringworm or pinkeye, etc. But with colds, most kids that age have colds nearly constantly, in the cold months, and it's a lot to ask to expect them to keep those kids home for runny noses and coughs and stuff like that.

The best line of defense, I find, is plenty of sleep, and active time outside in the fresh air even when the weather isn't the greatest. I did find that in the cold months, I had to be really vigilant about naptimes and bedtimes, or they'd start to get run down, and even if they SEEMED fine, they'd start being more vulnerable to every germ that blew their way.

[HollyBearsMom]

Its a fact of life.  Unless none of you ever leave the house and never see another person someone is going to get sick eventually.

Bottom line is kids get sick and since they are more often going to put their hands in their mouth, wipes their noses with their hands/sleeve, sneeze/cough w/o covering their mouths, etc germs are going to get shared.  And most kids don't stop and wash their hands when they do. Oh, then there the whole shared toys too! 

Honestly, I think a lot of people overreact over the whole "contagious" things.  So many illness are contagious long before and/or long after a person demonstrates symptoms. That doesn't excuse people who are really sick (high fever, etc) or drag their really sick kids out but the common cold, cough, etc? That's life.

Just take normal precautions and know that your kids are building strong immune systems!

[Adaline'sMama]

While I understand that getting sick/ being exposed to sick littles is a fact of life, I would either leave playgroup or ask that the other kid leave. I have totally been at playgroups where a kid had green snot hanging out of his nose, coughing up a storm, and the mom verbalized that he had had a fever for 2 days. One of the other mom politely said that either she was going to leave, or the sick kid could leave. It went something like:

Mom1: Oh, how long has he been sick?

Mom2: Well he's had a fever for about 2 days and a cough for three or 4 days.

Mom1: We've been sick a lot lately, so I think if you all are going to stay we will probably head home.

Mom2: Oh, no, we'll go. He should rest anyway.

I know all interactions arent so smooth, but I think contagious kids should stay home. I agree with PP about how a lot of times illness is spread before any detectable symptoms appear. I think the most important time to keep them home is the first couple of days. As far as going out sick, I think sniffles and such are fine, but fever, vomitting, ect are NOT. My kiddo gets her daily does of probiotics, but other than that we dont do anything to prevent illness. She is exposed to a lot and I dont feel like she gets sick very often, but *I* also dont want to get sick everytime I take my babe to playgroup.

[tanyalynn]

Originally Posted by mommariffic 

So I have a question for mommas out there! 

Once a week or so we do a play date or play group with some other natural parents, and it seems like almost every single time there IS a group my DD ends up sick. We take vitamins, eat healthy, and she's got a really good immune system but lately I see that people are bringing their sick kids (or contagious) kids out, and it results in at least one day of icky feelings. 

Do I stop having play dates? 

Are there are ways I can boost her immune system?

Is it okay to email the members of my group and ask that they keep contagious/sick kids home (I also have a babe)?

Is this just life? I know that we should raise bubble-kids, but this is just sort of annoying. 

I bolded the parts so I didn't break up your paragraph.

The first--why do you say she's got a really good immune system?  Is this the first time she's gotten sick, or she recovers quickly and easily, or...  ? 

The second--do you see kids that look visibly unwell?  Beyond the slight cold stage?  I agree with the PPs that feverish/feeling bad/gastro-involved illnesses needs kids to stay at home (helps them heal as well!), but I can't tell if kids look sick, or you think someone's sick _because_ your daughter is getting sick every time.

I'm coming from the perspective that my 2nd child got sick every time we went anywhere, Oct-midJan, his first two seasons (plus at other times of the year, but a lot less the other seasons).  And I did need to work on his immune system, it was all about him and not about our environment.  So I really don't know if it's normal for young kids, in the winter, to get sick after many/most/all playdates--or even, if one does a lot of work on diet and supplements and such, is it realistic for young kids to rarely/never get sick in the winter months?  DS did get sick all the time, but he's not typical, and DD was in daycare so it was a different situation--and she didn't get sick nearly as often as DS, so I'm just not sure.

[mommariffic]

Thanks guys! 

Also, I wanted to note that I needed to edit and put we SHOULD NOT raise bubble kids...not we should 

I think that DD has a good immune system because she's able to recover very quickly, and because we do much to make sure she's able to battle things. 

I think my issue is that some kids are just straight up (obviously) sick, a hacking cough/green stuff coming out of nose etc. It seems like every time there's at least one child who "was sick yesterday" or something like that. I also have a friend who's fine with bringing her kid over if he had a fever the day before, which I think is just not good. I'm def okay with a little winter cold but not actual fever/virus you know? 

I know I need to let up, and I should expect some degree of illness in the winter time especially but what the heck!

[Peony]

Maybe time for a friendly playgroup reminder email about following something like school/daycare rules regarding illness. So 24 hours after a fever, stomach bug, etc... Some kids have a hacking cough for weeks after an illness, my DS is running around right now with one a week after his cold ended.

But I totally understand your frustration when people are bringing obviously ill children. DD2 is still recovering from a nasty bug right now that we got after the child next to her hacked the ENTIRE gymnastics class. Like non stop for 45 straight minutes and was gagging herself she was coughing so hard. And now we have been sick a week.  Like I didn't have anything else to do with my time. Illness happens and we don't do the whole bubble things either and yes winter is nonstop germs but I also don't appreciate being exposed when you are still sick enough that you should be at home resting.