All books tossed on the floor - how to respond?

[EzzysMom]

I need some suggestions for my DD's new behavior. She is having quiet time now that she is refusing to nap, in her room alone. We've babyproofed in terms of strapping furniture to the wall and such. She's decided now to empty her entire bookshelf onto the floor. The first two days I said 'uh oh, we need to clean that up'. And I sat and shelved while she carried them back. I do not want to do this for 15 minutes every day.

So when I heard her doing it again the third day, I told her she may take them down, but she'd have to put them back herself or else I'd put them away. So she dumped most all of them, I warned her with 10 minutes left to quiet time again that she'd need to pick up. I came in at the end and told her again, she put about 5 away and then waltzed off to do other things, so I packed up her books and put them in the basement and returned all the library books. Because that's what I'd do with a 1 year old, remove the stuff they keep trashing so they can't do it again.

Any other suggestions? I'm not thrilled to have a severely restricted library now. Maybe I can put some back in the public space instead of her room, but I want her to have some things to enjoy during quiet time. I just don't want her to trash the place because she doesn't know what else to do.

[zebra15]

Well its been along time since DS was 2, hes 10 now but  I didnt do 'quiet time' with out some rules.  Quiet time meant you could do either a, b. or c.  None of those involved trashing your room.  He could lay quietly in bed, didnt need to sleep, he could watch a dvd (he had a small tv/dvd combo in his room) while he was laying down) he could read a book, play quietly with his cars/trucks etc.   DS was able to be left alone to'play' quietly, some kids just cant handle that and need quiet time to involve resting on the bed.  IMO it sounds like your DD needs some guidelines as to what quiet time involves and what she is expected to do.  

Also does quiet time need to take place in her room or could she be quiet on a blanket in the living room near you?

The other phrase that stands out is you want her to have things to 'enjoy' during quiet time.  You need to decide if quiet time is for resting or for playing.  I always set it up with DS that quiet time was for resting first, the movie, book, trucks etc were secondary.  Many times he would fall asleep.  The enjoyment can be confusing to a 2 yr old and hard to deciper this from regular play time.

[a13xandra]

I agree with the above poster about deciding whether quiet time should include such "enjoyment."  She might be too young to drop all naps?  It sounds like she's not getting any benefit from an extensive choice of books yet. Maybe only give a few and rotate those out with others when they've been thoroughly read and enjoyed?  Also, maybe keep them in a basket, so if she dumps them, she can put bring the basket to the spot and put them all away then carry them back to the basket's place?

[Petie1104]

We keep the books in a public area (we are lucky enough now to have a "formal dining room" that we turned into the library).  When it is time for quiet time, ds can choose 2 or 3 books to look at during quiet time.  This keeps the bookshelves from getting destroyed.  We did try to put them in the kids room at one point and I got tired of having to throw away books that had gotten torn, ripped, and generally destroyed because the kids stepped all over them.  So bookshelves are now in the family area.

[pianojazzgirl]

Thoughts...

- you might need to stay with her during quiet time - reading to her, snuggling, lying on the bed with her, etc.

- if the goal is for her to stay in her room by herself then yes, I would remove all books (and whatever else) that she might pull down and use to "disasterify" the room.  Maybe there's another shelf in the house that could house some of her books? 

- to make it more interesting/desirable for her to relax on her bed you might want to put on soothing music or a book on cd for her to listen to.

- if it's warm enough where you live you might want to stay doing a daily walk with her in carrier or stroller.  At best she'd fall asleep, but even if not she'd get a rest.

- if she's truly done with napping, and if she's anything like my dc then it might not be worth the headache to institute a "stay in your room" quiet time.  You might be better off to just let go of the idea, and instead make sure you engage her in quiet "down time" kind of activities throughout the day as needed.

[Amylcd]

  if she's truly done with napping, and if she's anything like my dc then it might not be worth the headache to institute a "stay in your room" quiet time.  You might be better off to just let go of the idea, and instead make sure you engage her in quiet "down time" kind of activities throughout the day as needed. 

This is what I would do.

[EzzysMom]

Originally Posted by Amylcd 

  if she's truly done with napping, and if she's anything like my dc then it might not be worth the headache to institute a "stay in your room" quiet time.  You might be better off to just let go of the idea, and instead make sure you engage her in quiet "down time" kind of activities throughout the day as needed. 

This is what I would do.

Ok this is hard to say but I'm a serious introvert and my DD does NOT stop talking all day. I really need some time for me not to be talked at constantly and so I need her in the other room. I don't have any other way to do this currently, and if the baby doesn't cooperate with napping at the same time, I miss it entirely some days, but at least the baby doesn't say anything I need to particularly listen and respond to. I am considering maybe I'm hoping for too long of a quiet time though.
 

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl 

Thoughts...

- you might need to stay with her during quiet time - reading to her, snuggling, lying on the bed with her, etc.

- if the goal is for her to stay in her room by herself then yes, I would remove all books (and whatever else) that she might pull down and use to "disasterify" the room.  Maybe there's another shelf in the house that could house some of her books? 

- to make it more interesting/desirable for her to relax on her bed you might want to put on soothing music or a book on cd for her to listen to.

- if it's warm enough where you live you might want to stay doing a daily walk with her in carrier or stroller.  At best she'd fall asleep, but even if not she'd get a rest.

Yeah see above, staying with her during quiet time does not get my needs met. Plus I use that time to cook dinner and do laundry and other chores. I like the music or book idea, I just need to figure out a way to play something in there. It's freeeeeezing here, brrrr. She hasn't slept in the stroller in forever, she just won't stop talking if there's someone to talk to!

Originally Posted by Petie1104 

We keep the books in a public area (we are lucky enough now to have a "formal dining room" that we turned into the library).  When it is time for quiet time, ds can choose 2 or 3 books to look at during quiet time.  This keeps the bookshelves from getting destroyed.  We did try to put them in the kids room at one point and I got tired of having to throw away books that had gotten torn, ripped, and generally destroyed because the kids stepped all over them.  So bookshelves are now in the family area.

OK so I may have to rejigger some toys.
 

Originally Posted by a13xandra 

I agree with the above poster about deciding whether quiet time should include such "enjoyment."  She might be too young to drop all naps?  It sounds like she's not getting any benefit from an extensive choice of books yet. Maybe only give a few and rotate those out with others when they've been thoroughly read and enjoyed?  Also, maybe keep them in a basket, so if she dumps them, she can put bring the basket to the spot and put them all away then carry them back to the basket's place?

Well I don't expect her to sit there twiddling her thumbs, she's got to do something. At least quiet time means she's not screaming and running through the house yelling 'Marco Polo'. It is definitely some down time for her as like most 2 year olds she doesn't stop moving. I think limiting the number of books is the way to go though. Maybe I'll put a babylock back on the bottom cabinet and rotate them from in there so they're easy to reach when we're together but protected from being trashed.
 

Originally Posted by zebra15 

Well its been along time since DS was 2, hes 10 now but  I didnt do 'quiet time' with out some rules.  Quiet time meant you could do either a, b. or c.  None of those involved trashing your room.  He could lay quietly in bed, didnt need to sleep, he could watch a dvd (he had a small tv/dvd combo in his room) while he was laying down) he could read a book, play quietly with his cars/trucks etc.   DS was able to be left alone to'play' quietly, some kids just cant handle that and need quiet time to involve resting on the bed.  IMO it sounds like your DD needs some guidelines as to what quiet time involves and what she is expected to do.  

Also does quiet time need to take place in her room or could she be quiet on a blanket in the living room near you?

The other phrase that stands out is you want her to have things to 'enjoy' during quiet time.  You need to decide if quiet time is for resting or for playing.  I always set it up with DS that quiet time was for resting first, the movie, book, trucks etc were secondary.  Many times he would fall asleep.  The enjoyment can be confusing to a 2 yr old and hard to deciper this from regular play time.

She used to fall asleep, but she just won't now. Maybe its a long no-nap phase, but I do think she's done, she's pretty agreeable (compared to her usual self) the entire rest of the day, wakes up on her own in the morning without anyone else in the house being up too. I see quiet time as for playing quietly by herself, and at least moderately resting her body. She can't 'be quiet' if she's anywhere near me, she just cannot stop talking. I tried going in there one day and reading with her, but she tried and just couldn't. I've told her she can read her books, play with the stuffed animals or do puzzles.

Thank you for the ideas, I think I'll try some music or books on tape. just need to find a way to play them. And I'll move the books around some so they're not all available.

[LaughingHyena]

Mine are 6 and 4 and I still seem to spend a lot of time picking up books and returning them to the shelves. A box/basket has definitely been easier for them to manage themselves. My 6yo is still not great at putting them back on the shelf as they slide down before she gets the bookend in place. Rain gutter shelves always look like they would be easy for kids to manage too.

I find story CDs quite useful, the kids like them and also that they know when the story ends they are free to come back down. We have a kids CD player with microphone similar to this. I would suggest copying the CD and giving the kids the copy, we have had several scratched beyond playable over the years.

I know TV is not everyones choice but again it is something which keeps DS engaged and in one place while I get a break. I prefer to record programmes for him, that way we are less likely to get sucked into watching for too long. Once he sees the next programme it's hard to get him to switch off.

[peaceful_mama]

actually my kids started reading MORE when I put LESS books out at one time.  When they were *all* out, they *all* got dumped, and nobody wanted to pick up.  I have 3 "readers" and about 20 books now that stay out.  The rest live in a plastic tote.  (I came to this with some parenting book about simplicity I don't rememeber the title just that I loved the concept.)  They really advocated "less is more" and rotating items sometimes.  that's what I do with books, every so often I rotate.

[Monkey Keeper]

Another tactic for quiet time is to reserve something "special" that she can do ONLY during quiet time--a special book, stickers, audio books, radio--really anything.  That way, the time has its own built-in reward for her.  I too would remove the books from her room until she can take better care of them.  Because we have a playroom, we are able to limit the entertainment items in bedrooms--in our house, bedrooms are for sleeping.  It helps with sleep when we do this.