Has anyone else regretted a vasectomy?

[bumblebeth]

Hi - I was jsut wondering if anyone else has been through what I'm going through now.

7 years ago my husband and I agreed to proceed with his vasectomy deciding never to have children. I was tied up in my past with abusive parents and so terrified of their influence decided not to have kids.

Howver, 2 years ago I had a total mental breakdown and through extensive therapy have slowly found myself free from my past.

My husband and I have talked extensively, he is 40 now and I'm 39, and have decided we want a baby of our own. I can't believe it! We have decided to get the vasectomy reversed however it will cripple us financially at a cost of £2,500. We feel this is totally worth it - however there is no guarantee that at 39 I am going to be successful in getting pregnant. A huge gamble.

He's booked in on the 14th Feb - really close.

Has anyone else been here? I just need some support and advice from anyone else who's been through this, Maybe been here and got wee ones of their own? It would be so encourging to hear any successful stories.

Many thanks.

[Irishmommy]

Hi, I have moved your thread over to Fertility, you might get more responses there!

[cdmommie]

My husband had a vasectomy almost a year ago after 2 doctors warned us that if I were able to maintain another pregnancy (had 5 miscarriages), I would need to be prepared to do a very early c-section to ensure I survived. I had extensive damage from the 2 babies I had delivered, so another pregnancy would be really risky. The last doctor I saw mentioned that I should consider sterilization. The miscarriages had been very hard on us and then all this was happening so my dreams of having a big family were shattered and my heart broken. My amazing husband told me he wanted to get a vasectomy so that I didn't have to go through any more than I already had.

He had the vasectomy and not a day goes by that I don't feel a hint of sadness about it. Even though I KNOW we didn't really have much choice in the matter. But the blessing of it all is that we will be adopting, so we are not done building our family
So, if you feel like you are ready to be a parent, go for it. And just fyi, the kid will be MUCH MUCH more expensive than the vasectomy reversal, so be prepared for that.

[bumblebeth]

Thank you so much hon. x

[bumblebeth]

LOL! My husband has already said the littlin will cost more than a new motorbike, and he's still ok with going ahead! The baby won't cost much as my sister has all of the baby stuff we'll need thankfully, and a few of my friends are pregnant now so I'll have their cast offs too. I'm very fortunate.

We'll be out of debt by the time the baby arrives, and financially secure. Thankfully being 'older' we've made our financial mistakes while we were young and have planned our finances meticulously with this. My husband's family are also very supportive and I know our littlin will always have everything he or she needs.

We've been up and down over the last few months - have discussed this with the closest friends and family only. We've finally decided to go ahead with it now - he's actually booked in for this Monday, Valentine's day!

We're now re-aranging the house, moving bedrooms, redecorating, etc etc. I'm so clucky - it's unbelivable. I know I'm running ahead with myself, I'm taking the right 'trying to conceive' vitamins although we won't be able to start trying for 3 weeks, and I won't be fertile until 4 weeks anyway as I'm ovulating now.

I've also read the book 'taking charge of your own fertility' by Toni Weschler. This book is amazing. I honestly didn't know I could still be fertile - it's blown my mind and given me such renewed hope for my own fertility.

We'll know on Monday whether the op is successful. Then comes the sperm count tests, and trying of course. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for your reply - I hope you have the large family you always wanted.

is there anyone else who has been here and been succesful in getting pregnant after? I know I'll be gutted if we're not successful. We've already got a boy's name, and talking about girl's names. Very premature, but it keeps us positive and focussed.

[RoseRedHoofbeats]

We had a vasectomy reversal last year! My husband will be 43 in a month, and he was 34 when the vas was done. Everything went really well, and he had a great sperm count within four months (you want to wait that long to do it, because there can be residual swelling that can produce an artifically low count). I did get pregnant right away once we started trying, though I had a miscarriage at ten weeks- however, that had nothing to do with the reversal. It would have been just as likely to have happened otherwise, and the fact that I DID conceive is a huge weight off my shoulders.

I posted a thread a while ago about our experience with the reversal. Honestly, I am really really happy we did it. Even before we were ready to try (we waited a year for my daughter to be a little older and to get some financial things in order) it was a huge relief to just know that I COULD, that it was POSSIBLE. The biggest thing for us right afterwards was swelling. Ice packs and using a towel to sling his testicles up so the fluid could drain helped a lot. Also arnica cream. I spent WAY more time looking at his balls than I ever wanted to. =P He should take the highest dose of ibuprofen his doctor recommends for his weight (usually 800-1000 mgs 3x/day) and a 500 Vitamin E supplement. Selenium also helps with sperm generation and health.

You might also consider having a fertility panel done on yourself, just to see where your eggs are at and how your hormone levels are. Maybe they can start you up on what you would need right away so you have the best possible chance.

Kids ARE expensive but they usually don't require a two grand deposit. =) Good luck!!!

~Rose

[bumblebeth]

LOL - love the £2,500 deposit! Thank you so much for taking time to post this. That is so encouraging and exactly what I needed. I remember his vasectomy - yeah, spent a lot of time looking at his balls too LOL! I'll get ice packs and arnica cream and vit E sorted today - I never thought of that, so that's brill advice. And of course i'll keep you all posted. If all is successful this will be our first child - at 39 yrs I don't think we'll have a second, but we'll see what time brings us. This baby is so badly wanted. Many, many thanks again. xxx

[bumblebeth]

My husband had his vasectomy reversal yesterday. It was 100% sucessful, no complications and both tubes were reattached.

My husband is 40, over weight, and his original vasectomy was 7 years ago. I am 39 though - and this is my last chance to have a baby. We can start trying in 2 weeks :-)

We chose Mr Ducan Harriss in Nottingham, UK. He only charged £2,531 - my husband was home late evening and we got a personal phone call today to update us on the op. We are abolutely delighted! Mr Harriss boasts a 92% success rate and has performed over 500 of these proceedures over the last couple of years. That's impressive results!

I'm also reading Toni Weschler's book 'Taking charge of your fertility' - it's a real eye opener. At my age I especially need to know when I'm ovulating and using Toni's rules of temperature taking, cervical fluid and cervix checks I find it dead easy to chart and monitor these. I've also been taking pre-pregnancy 'trying to conceive' vitamins as well as eating very healthily and getting fitter and doing pelvic floor exercises in preparation.

Hope this helps anyone going through this. It IS possible. I'll post any news as soon as it happens!

Beth

[Shenjall]

Hi again Beth, 

I'm stalking you on this thread now, too.  :)  Have you seen this forum yet?  http://vrsupportgroup.proboards.com/ It's a great place to connect with other families in their VR journey.  :)  

Good Luck!!

[bumblebeth]

Cheers Shenjall - I'll check it out,

Beth

[bumblebeth]

Day 8 following the vas reversal.

Over the weekend my husband developed an infection where the stiches are - it's only a small infection, but it is weeping still. He's finally agreed to wearing loose track suit bottoms instead of jeans and he's changing the gauze several times a day. He's on antibiotics now so this should clear up soon. This time next week we can start trying! :-)

[bumblebeth]

My husband was too sore to start trying after 2 weeks, so it was 2 and a half weeks before we started trying. Even then, he still cannot bear the missionary position or any other position that he is not supported. He's has had a rough time poor love. So I'm doing all the work - Doctor's orders were to be as active as possible to get everything working properly again. I'm not hopeful in getting pregnant yet until he can manage positions that increase chances of conception. The most important thing is to get it all working again. 

If we're blessed this month, then we'll have a little one before Xmas - please keep us in your prayers.

Beth. x

[Shenjall]

Oh Beth!  I'm sorry to hear your dh developed an infection!  I hope the antibiotics clear it up fast!

Did the drs give any clue to why he's having so much pain?  Poor guy.  

[littlest birds]

We are 18 months post VR.  The reversal was successful, however I have not been PG yet.  I am 34yo.  Still hopeful, but I thought it would happen sooner.

[bumblebeth]

Sorry - haven't been on for a while. We are 3 months past VR now - my period was 7 days late last month, however it came which was gutting. Anyhows - my husband is fine now, he had antibiotics which cleared his infection up lovely.

He's having his semen tested on Weds this week so we'll know in a couple of weeks if his sperm count is ok.

W're also off on holiday this Saturday camping for 2 and a half weeks - it may be what we need to relax and conceive. Who knows .....

[Jaimee]

Have you started charting?  You'll find lots of help in the TTC forum and www.fertilityfriend.com is really helpful as well for enter your temps, sharing your chart, and getting help determining your O day.  Good luck with TTC!

[Subhuti]

good luck bumblebeth, enjoy the camping ;-) 

keep us updated!

[bumblebeth]

Thanks guys - I'll keep you posted. I've been using Toni Wiesler's taking charge of your fertility and using her charts to know when I'm ovulating. At least if we di have to go down the route of ivf they'll have my records. Whocknows - a camping trip may just be what a baby orders lol!

[Vicky80]

Yes Yes Yes i regret our decision everyday since it was done!! :(

I am so miserable about it and this was two years ago! I have tried to let it go but i have found my want for another baby is over whelming! And to be honest i am not sure which way to go with it, my hubby has said that he would have a reversal but well he's been signed off work with a disc bulge in his neck and so money is very tight at the mo. I am 31 and he is 32 and for some reason i am feeling like i am running out of time.

I am sorry for my squeeks of desperation, this is the first time i have met others who feel the same way. I am still hoping i am one of the very small percentage that falls pregnant 'by accident' but i fear after all this time that it is not going to happen. I cant talk to my family about it as they all think i am mad (i have three yummy boys already) and that it was a good thing that the vasectomy was done, and well hubby has now had enough of my disappointment so he is not really approachable about it anymore, which is horrible!

I know this is going to sound silly i feel a little better putting it out here so thank you so much for listening and if anyone could suggest how to cope with my hormones and longings, i will do anything as for at least the time being i am going to have to deal with them for longer!

[bumblebeth]

Hey. It's not good news. We've had the results of my husbands sperm count. We're devastated.

No sperm were seen. Although the VAS reversal was successful in reattaching the tubes, the surgeon tells us that the result is likely due to a blockage in the epididymis. Sometimes a backlog of dead sperm can collect after the vasectomy and the dead sperm fail to clear. Even if the tubes are joined together again the live sperm cannot find their way through.

Does anyone know if this blockage can be cleared without IVF? Because the zero count is due to a vasectomy it is unlikely we'll get help on the NHS. we'll see our GP next week together, but we're not hopeful.

Came back from holiday last night - explains my period I suppose. ;-(