Sweet and Sour

[CatsCradle]

NM.

[Thandiwe]

I haven't, but I was wondering: yesterday when she ripped your apartment apart and dumped out all of her toys, who cleaned them up?

If I were you, and by no means am I implying that I know *exactly* the answer since I haven't walked in your shoes, I would consider having her pick them up next time.  Obviously you'll want to wait until she's cooled down.  But until then, leave everything she tore apart just as it was.  Then when she cools down, say, "Ok.  Time to clean up the mess you made."  To be fair, I would get down there and clean up with her, but I would use it as a teaching moment.  I would say, "See, when we throw a big fit and throw our toys all over, we have to spend a lot of time cleaning up, and that's not really a lot of fun."  And if she breaks something of hers in the process, I would have her throw it away once she's cooled down.  Once again, use it as a moment: "See what happens when we break our toys?  We have to throw them away, and that's not fun."  Perhaps showing her the connection between actions and natural consequences might help make her think twice next time.

Good luck!  I can imagine this is very frustrating for you!  I have a 5.5 year old, but I didn't really notice any behavioral changes at 4.5, but I have with each and every child at about 1.5.  I think you're onto something, as they are developing and growing and mentally/emotionally evolving.  I think it may be a part of processing.  But you can use it as a teaching tool as well, in a kind, loving, and gentle way.

[CatsCradle]

Sorry, I deleted my original post because after I though about, I realized I was just being silly.  I have a hard time admitting failure in any respect!  Thanks for your reply, Thandiwe.  Actually, we have always required DD to pick up after herself, even this week, but her behavior was a sudden thing for us and we're still trying to figure out if it is a so-called acting out due to, like you said, emotional and physical evolvement.  Thanks!