Sleep, Sleep, Sleep!!!!

[matey]

5 month old waking every 1.5-2 hours every night for almost a month. One break, last Monday, where she slept for 5 hours. I'm so tired and cranky. Why??? Why does she wake like this? Why do my kids sleep so poorly? Am I doing something wrong? When she was younger she made it 6-7 hours! She's completely happy. I am dairy free, she has had some issues with reflux. What is the problem? My friend has a six week old that wakes once in the night and I have a 5 month old that wakes 6 times at night, How is this fair?!?

I feel so frustrated. I know there are no answers. This has just been a poor sleep rant.

[Knitting Mama]

mama, I know it's super hard, but I really think it's just the age. My daughter slept like a champ for almost the first 3 months, and then it began to go downhill with 4 month "regression," physical milestones, teething, more milestones, more teething...now at 9 months we're almost getting good sleep again. I bet you a dollar, too, that your friend's little one won't be sleeping through the night fairly soon either!

[violet_]

Mine did exactly that: 6 hours from 4 weeks, but then went downhill and by 5 months was waking a LOT. We started her on solids, and gave her a big meal before bed, and now she sleeps all night. 

[matey]

The thing is that a lot of times she isnt even interested in nursing, so I dont thing it's a hunger issue. I tend to just try to get her to nurse just so she'll chill out but she a lot of times has no interest. But she will take a pacifier. In fact, unlike my first child, the pacifier is like her best friend. She falls asleep easily with it. She just wants to suck the life out of it. I keep checking for teeth but find nothing. I wonder if she has a lot of under gum teething action going on.

[Laurski]

Big, big hugs...DD will be 5 months this week and is up every 1.5 - 2 hours, just like yours (although some nights we get 3 whole hours, which feels like heaven!)

I guess the only thing that makes it easier for me is that she has *always* been a poor sleeper...there was one amazing night when she was 2.5 months old when she slept for 5 hours in.a.row, which is the stuff of legend around here now (spoken of with misty eyes and in hushed, reverent tones ).

Do you co-sleep?  I think it definitely makes the frequent wakings easier, because you only need to be semi-conscious to feed.

Good luck, and baby sleep vibes your way!

[matey]

Originally Posted by Laurski 

Big, big hugs...DD will be 5 months this week and is up every 1.5 - 2 hours, just like yours (although some nights we get 3 whole hours, which feels like heaven!)

I guess the only thing that makes it easier for me is that she has *always* been a poor sleeper...there was one amazing night when she was 2.5 months old when she slept for 5 hours in.a.row, which is the stuff of legend around here now (spoken of with misty eyes and in hushed, reverent tones ).

Do you co-sleep?  I think it definitely makes the frequent wakings easier, because you only need to be semi-conscious to feed.

Good luck, and baby sleep vibes your way!

Yes, I do co-sleep. It does make it easier.And you right, my ds was a poor sleeper from the start so it's just likem wll, that's him. She slept good so I feel like !!what happened!!

[LittleBirdy]

Another commiserator (sp?  who knows?  i'm tired) here.

DS was sleeping pretty well by 8 weeks or so - wouldn't believe it if I didn't have FB postings to prove it - he'd often make it from 8 or 9 to 6 or 7 with just one wake up.  I thought I had it made in the shade.

Enter the 4 month sleep regression and it's pretty much been sleep hell ever since.  Last two nights he's woken up every 45 minutes to 1 hour.  On a good night he'll do 2 hour stretches until about 3 a.m. when he's up every hour.  And for the past week he's been an absolute crab during the day.  Nothing (NOTHING) makes him happy - doesn't want to be held, doesn't want to be put down, doesn't want to nurse.

I try to take it one day at a time but then I go over to the Family Bed board and read about kids that still wake up every 2 hours at 18 months... 20 months... 2 years.  I CANNOT do this for much longer.  I cry at least once a day.  I called in sick to work today with the inention of sleeping and it's almost 2:00 where I am and no sleep has been had.

[matey]

Originally Posted by LittleBirdy 

Another commiserator (sp?  who knows?  i'm tired) here.

DS was sleeping pretty well by 8 weeks or so - wouldn't believe it if I didn't have FB postings to prove it - he'd often make it from 8 or 9 to 6 or 7 with just one wake up.  I thought I had it made in the shade.

Enter the 4 month sleep regression and it's pretty much been sleep hell ever since.  Last two nights he's woken up every 45 minutes to 1 hour.  On a good night he'll do 2 hour stretches until about 3 a.m. when he's up every hour.  And for the past week he's been an absolute crab during the day.  Nothing (NOTHING) makes him happy - doesn't want to be held, doesn't want to be put down, doesn't want to nurse.

I try to take it one day at a time but then I go over to the Family Bed board and read about kids that still wake up every 2 hours at 18 months... 20 months... 2 years.  I CANNOT do this for much longer.  I cry at least once a day.  I called in sick to work today with the inention of sleeping and it's almost 2:00 where I am and no sleep has been had.

You have made me feel better! I am doing better than you!! J/K.
Hugs to you mama because you sound like I did with my ds. I used to tell dh that it sould be illegal for me to drive because I was so cracked out of my head with exhaustion. He sleeps now that he is 3...well, pretty well anyway. Last night he was up till almost 11 just jabbering to himself in bed but he didn't wake through t the night crying or come into our room at all, so that's success! Bad sleepers seem to just stay that way!! But maybe you and I have hope with these babies since they slept good at one point. Ds never slept well. Hope you get some rest today.

[vegrunr]

My lil' one is going through the same thing.  Around 3 1/2 months he started waking more often at night and now wakes every 2 hours on the dot to nurse.  I think it's because he is so distractible during the day so he isn't eating as much then so he's very hungry at night.  But yes, it makes for a tired mama. Of course it could also be teething, growth spurt, etc etc.  He also was up to sleeping 4-6 hour stretches in the beginning of the night but those are long gone! 

[HonkyTonka]

My STTNer also stopped at 5 months - she was getting up every 45 min-1.5 hours. Drove me batty (and ill - got 4 colds and a case of strep throat!) We instituted a routine, and early bedtime, no nursing to sleep, and DH getting her back to sleep if she wakes up before 3 hours has elapsed from her last feed. It is slowly getting better, but she's still up 3-4 times at 8 months.

It sucks, especially when you know what it was like to sleep! It is like having a delicious tiramisu for dessert every night until BAM, all of a sudden all you get is twinkies.

[heidibgg]

OMG!  Some fellow non-sleepers!  It's good to be reminded that I am not alone in my sleep deprived misery.  Well, maybe not misery, but it is rough.  My dd #2 slept well for about 6 weeks starting at 2.5 months and then has been waking up in varying frequencies since.  I thought she just needed to get past the "4th trimester", but no. 

In looking for answers or support, I came across a book called 'The Wonder Weeks' and that has been helpful in that it gives a possible reason behind why she is a restless sleeper.  Is anyone familiar with this book? They studied babies in their first year and found a number of predictable developmental leaps that can cause restless sleep, crankiness during the day, and clingy behavior, etc.  Sometimes knowing why can help my perspective, but this is getting old.  My baby is now 10 months old and she will cycle through not sleeping well at night or during the day and finally, I think she gets exhausted after a few days of that and will have one night of waking maybe once between 11p and 7a.  Then back to waking several times.  Sometimes she is happy and babbling, and sometimes she cries and I can barely tell if she is awake.  We co-sleep so she is right next to me.  It is as much for me as for her because I don't have to get out of bed and fully wake up to console her back to sleep.  Because of her frequent waking, my husband sleeps in the "office" so that he can have a good nights sleep during the week, and switches with me on the weekends so I can have a break.  I will say though, that she is always happy during the day.

My older daughter set her own predictable pattern and didn't seem sensitive to these, or any, developmental leaps.  We also co-slept with her and she liked her paci.  By 10 months she was sleeping from 8p to 8a and taking a 2-3 hour nap during the day. (ahhh...memories....)  Wow how different 2 little girls from the same two parents can be!

I hope she grows out of this because above all else, I am truly not myself without good sleep.  I have been that way my whole life.  It's almost like I am waiting to feel rested enough to begin again.  I can't even remember what feeling rested is like.  I wake up in the morning and go.  I have no choice.  Down a bunch of coffee and go.

Arghhhh! 

[LZP]

Another commiserator here too... I'm listening to DD jabber, do raspberries and coo, on the monitor. she was ready for bed at 630, slept like a champ.. till 830 on the nose. i just went up and nursed her to almost sleep. popped her off, popped in the pacifier, and she was good. fell asleep on her own (ish) and then suddenly she's awake again! She started going downhill around 4 months I think? I dont remember. good thing I didnt write down those "long" stretches of 4-5 hours, they'd only make me jealous of my 3MO mama self.. (I vaguely remember times of waking to feed her at 3AM, remarking, "Wow! the last time she woke was 10PM!) HAHAHAHAHAHA  looong gone. DD too is teething, though her gums are just getting hard now, not even little white spots. we might have a long road ahead. we give her some homeopathic teething drops, and that used to help, but seems to not do enough anymore...?   we co-sleep, and I was wondering if I was waking her up at night, but now she just doesnt sleep well at night, at all, whether or not I'm in bed. 

the thing is, DD is an AMAZING napper. I can put her down in our bed, in her clothes, give her a pacifier and her lovey, and she will roll onto her tummy and go to sleep. sometimes, for like 3 hours! I can't PAY her to sleep 3 hours at night.

so, I wont hijack, I'll just say, I'm there with you. totally sleep deprived, and getting more cranky by the night. 

look at that... the whining has started. time to try again...

ETA- we've tried earlier bed time, later bed time, skip afternoon nap, i stopped all caffeine after 11AM, (1 cup of half caf!!)   is it possible for a child to only be a napper? like only sleep 2 hours, then want to be up for 2 hours, around.the.clock?

[Knitting Mama]

Yes, it's totally possible. Thankfully, it's probably not permanent.

[matey]

I am so exhausted today. I am convinced that I am the problem. That for some reason I have raised HORRIBLE sleepers. What did I do????

I think one of dd's problems is the stupid pacifier I turned her on to. I dont even like pacifiers, but she just wants to suck and does not want to nurse. She gets angry with nursing. But sucking on the pacifier really soothes her. Except when it falls out in the middle of the night. It is like as her sleep cycles, she realizes the pacifier isnt in there, and she freaks out. I try nursing, not interested. Sometimes it doesnt work to give her the pacifier either. It's like she is too awake.

I dont know, I feel like I'm loosing my mind today. I can't really handle this lack of sleep for much longer.

[Knitting Mama]

Wubbanub makes little stuffed animals with pacifiers attached, and Woombie makes a blanket that you attach the pacifier too. One of those might help!

[osker]

Originally Posted by HonkyTonka 

 We instituted a routine, and early bedtime, no nursing to sleep, and DH getting her back to sleep if she wakes up before 3 hours has elapsed from her last feed. 

  Yes! This! For us, co-sleeping was much, much, much worse. I got great sleep, so it was better for me, but for H nursing all night and for E sleeping fitfully all night, the co-sleeping thing was just not working. We started a routine, bedtime is at 6pm sharp and she goes into her bed awake. When she wakes before 3am she gets a bottle of pumped milk while H sleeps. When she wakes after 3am she comes into bed and nurses until she either sleeps again or cranks around so much that I get up and put her back in her crib. Last night she went down awake at 6:45 (took her a long time to nurse), woke at 2am and had four ounces, went back to sleep til 5am, nursed til 5:45 and went back to sleep til 7:30!!!  I sincerely believe that having H take, at minimum, six hours off is the absolute best thing for all of us. E isn't constantly looking for the nipple, H is sleeping soundly, I'm more involved in parenting, and everyone is getting more sleep!  I think that H fell into the trap of thinking that nursing was the quick fix for night time fussiness.. but after a while it just caused more problems than solutions. Working a little harder to get her to sleep without nursing has been so great!

[LittleBirdy]

Originally Posted by matey 

I am so exhausted today. I am convinced that I am the problem. That for some reason I have raised HORRIBLE sleepers. What did I do????

I think one of dd's problems is the stupid pacifier I turned her on to. I dont even like pacifiers, but she just wants to suck and does not want to nurse. She gets angry with nursing. But sucking on the pacifier really soothes her. Except when it falls out in the middle of the night. It is like as her sleep cycles, she realizes the pacifier isnt in there, and she freaks out. I try nursing, not interested. Sometimes it doesnt work to give her the pacifier either. It's like she is too awake.

I dont know, I feel like I'm loosing my mind today. I can't really handle this lack of sleep for much longer.

You didn't do it mama, babies are the way they are.  I felt the same way about swaddling and sleeping in the swing, but if I hadn't done that he wouldn't have slept AT ALL.

Give it a little more time and keep on keeping on.  Mine slept for 3.5 hours last night; it was glorious.  I have high hopes to get a 4 or 5 hours stretch one of these days, soon.

Does she sleep in your bed/room?  Close enough by that maybe you could pop that pacifier in before she really wakes up, without having to get out of bed? 

 

[heidibgg]

Yes sorry, didn't mean to hijack.  Still new to this and I was just so happy to see that others were going through something similar.  My excuse is sleep deprivation

[BirdieC]

From age 3 months till now, my DD has been a frequent night waker. She is now 10 months. I don't know how I survived this long, especially being a single mom! All I can say is that I don't regret breast feeding and cosleeping. And I can say in all honesty that both of those things don't make a baby a better or worse sleeper.

2 weeks ago I took away the pacifier, which caused some tears, but not as many as I thought. And I was by her side the whole time. That has been a HUGE help. It became clear months ago she was using it as a sleep crutch. She didn't think she could fall asleep without it. So every waking (the brief wakings described in NCSS) she cried for it to be put back in. So I did. Every 1-2 hours, every night.

She still wakes, but needs only a back rub and a shhhh to get back to sleep. And she still nurses 2-3 times a night.

I've read every website, book, article, blog, you name it - about infant sleep. And the reality is that MOST babies wake at night and need help falling asleep. I find comfort in knowing that I'm not alone or failing as a mother in some way. My kid wakes frequently. Lots of babies do. And that's ok. She'll grow up and sleep through the night soon enough.

[matey]

Well I did take away the pacifier and stopped swaddling too. She has been sleeping much better since doing this although it requires a little work to get her there.