help me understand my 5yo better

[contactmaya]

I could never take my now 5yo to children’s tot library events. He preferred to run around than to  listen to a story. Couldn’t take him to music classes either,  he hated others singing, and would prefer to run around.( he now has a beautiful singing voice which is perfectly in tune, so he is musical)

Now at school, he is the kid getting in trouble because he  acts silly, makes silly voices, and doesn’t listen to the teacher. In class discussions,  he rarely contributes, and is somewhat disruptive.

Is my son stupid? No, he scored  the highest score you  can get in  the Gifted and Talented test for which he received absolutely no training whatsoever. (many children did get preparation for these tests)

Yesterday we were going through a math workbook, which he likes to do for fun. We will push through the book and he will continue for a long time without tiring, always wanting  more. He seems to understand everything, don’t know where he learned it, at school maybe?  

The information is presented visually.

Then we came across an exercise, where I had to put mathematical information into a verbal presentation, as a ‘story’.

Within nano seconds, ds starts making his silly voice, not paying attention, being disruptive, and all of that stuff he gets  into problems at school for.

So I presented the same problem in a visual format- he becomes serious again, gets everything right, want to do more.

I  have no training in this  whatsoever, but  is the reason behind all of this, because he has trouble interpretting  auditory information?

If anyone knows anything about this, has any experience, could you help me here?

Wouldnt the teachers have figured this out by now? Why havent they said anything? I don’t believe my kid is the only kid in history with this particular attribute.

Im pretty tired of the theory that’s its all about discipline. I think that is flat out wrong.  He is very disciplined at home, and  is able to concentrate for long periods, has from a young age. He is respectful of me and of people in general.

Not so much at school though.

Any help, btdt, general discussion on the issue  much appreciated 

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Originally Posted by contactmaya 

Wouldnt the teachers have figured this out by now? Why havent they said anything? I don’t believe my kid is the only kid in history with this particular attribute.
 

No, because he's five and his behavior is remarkably normal for boys in kindergarten. It takes a talented teacher to deal with a group of rowdy kindergarten boys.

He sounds exactly like my DD, who is also a very visual learner, and has some auditory processing issues. If questions are offered verbally, she appears to be a child of normal intelligence. If questions are proposed visually, she looks like a genius. She also could not do storytime at the library or Music Together or Pre-K (we did an experiential preschool for a few months that didn't even have a classroom - met out in nature - and she loved that).

It doesn't matter all that much. If you want to keep him in public school, he will need to learn how to "do" school even when the material isn't interesting or presented to his preferred learning style. DD probably misses half of what is verbally presented in school, yet she is able to sit and follow the rules. The difference between boys and girls in kindergarten is amazing (and I am a person who refused to believe for the longest time in gender differences). If he is gifted, and it sounds like he is, he will have to learn how to manage boredom in a way that is not disruptive if you want him to stay in public school. And honestly, you will not be doing him a disservice if his auditory skills are challenged and improved, if his ability to tolerate boredom is increased (much of life IS boring), and if his ability to follow rules even when he doesn't feel like it is increased. These are skills that will benefit him throughout his life.

There would also be nothing wrong and a lot to be said for modifying his environment to better meet his needs and to let him soar with the talents he has. I do not think you will ever be able to do this while in a public school setting, though. From what I know about elementary school, they are not even going to recognize giftedness in kindergarten, much less offer any adjustment to the curriculum. They just aren't. In our school system, they don't even have gifted programs until after elementary school.

[contactmaya]

Your reply is so helpful to me. It is also true that  some of this is age related, and also gender related. I had just never seen this difference in processing information put before me so starkly, and the whole 'not being able to take him to library time' business suddenly made sense.

He is actually in a private school that tries to cater to individual needs. Some of the class however,is very verbally based, asking children to discuss things etc etc. I get tired of getting emails with every other child than my own contributing to the discussion. (they send us daily emails about what happens in the class) Also the fact that he can be disruptive is something i am trying to figure out. (there seem to be a couple of other  boys, that use the poopy diaper joke to the extreme)

I would love exercises for practising auditory processing, and am currently searching for them. Do you have any pointers?

I dont know if i want him to get therapy or if he would even qualify. He qualified for early intervention because of his speech delay, but i was very far from impressed with the therapists.  I dont want to go anywhere near that profession again, unless i can be convinced otherwise. I would want to be present at the sessions at first.

I think a bunch of auditory exercises would be good for him. 

Anyone else have this experience?

ps. one other reason i  was unimpressed with the therapists  used  in early intervention is, why didnt one of them suggest this possibility? Surely  with kids and speech delays, auditory processing could very well be an issue. How  about mentioning that to the parent? In 2 years, he had at least  10 therapists, only 2 of them were good. None made any  helpful suggestions though, so here i am  asking about it now....

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Interesting that my DD also had early intervention for speech delays. I also noticed that DD was not enjoying music like other children her age did - it hasn't been until very recently that her brain has been able to process music into something delightful rather than mostly noise. DD aged out of EI at 3, and did not qualify for the Developmental Preschool (for which I am now grateful, actually).

They didn't offer me any suggestions, either, for dealing with auditory processing. It seemed clear to me that her difficulties were in auditory processing and not speech production, because her pronounciation was typical for her age - but she had limited (very) vocabulary for a while there. But no one mentioned auditory processing. They just worked on increasing her vocabulary.

What seemed to help her the most was pairing visual cues with verbal speech. Early on we used sign language; using the sign while saying the word. Then the word would get "in" and she could understand it and speak it verbally and didn't need the sign anymore. So for your son's math, for example, I would make sure the math story was divided into the simplest sentences possible, and draw the action as you speak it, or ask him to draw it as you say the sentence. For example, if the math story goes "Jane has six apples and John has eight apples; how many apples do they have together" start with "Jane has six apples." Have him draw Jane and the six apples. "John has eight apples." Have him draw John and the eight apples. Or use dolls. Or pennies. or something tangible and visible. He will learn to make these pictures in his head instead of just tuning out the verbal input.

Play verbally-based games like "simon says" and "red light, green light" where he has to listen to instructions. The intention is that he will start to see that words are important, and make that extra effort to pay attention to the words instead of tuning them out. DD was perfectly comfortable tuning out auditory input - I had to make it worth her while to listen.

[AngieSuperbabysmom]

The frustration you are describing is one reason why some parents choose to homeschool. Then they can tailor the learning environment to their child's learning style. 

The school environment is tough for some boys, since children are by and large expected to sit still, be quiet, and follow the rules. Boys can be much more energetic and so their normal behavior for their age is considered "acting out" in the school environment.

Perhaps you could talk to the teacher about your insights and mention things at home that work at getting your son's focus. Nobody knows your child like you do, and the teacher would probably value that information. If he/she doesn't, that would be a red flag for me about that school/teacher. 

Good luck! Hope you can find what works for you!