I'm torn...

[memz]

So my DD is 12 months old...she has always been a crappy sleeper, waking every 1 1/2-2 hours and we cosleep,  having to nap on me for the first 10 1/2 months and having  to be nursed to sleep everytime . Then she started her integration in daycare for half days last week. I was very apprenhensive about the naps, but finally everything went well...she was put in the playpen and cried for like one minutes and was asleep. So then I decided to try her in her playpen at home for her naps and she did the same...so this is great!!

Then this weekend I went out with friends for dinner and was supposed to get back before her bedtime, but she got tired earlier so DH decided to try putting her in her playpen and again she fell asleep easily. And she spent the whole night in it!! She woke up every 2 hours or so, but would move around whine one or twice and was out again. So the first night she didn't nurse for 12 hours! Then we tried it again last night and she didn't nurse for 10 hours! Still waking often but didn't need us to fall back asleep.

So my thing is this, I will be starting work next week so she won't get to nurse during the day, so I feel bad that she won't be able to nurse at night.... And I also loved cosleeping, but I guess she sleeps better on her own now, but I don't know why it feels like I'm depriving her of something or not being there for her since she's sleeping alone.....

I don't really know what I'm looking for but thanks for reading this far.....

[LittleBirdy]

I can totally understand how you feel, being a working mother myself and having a LO who honestly sleeps better on his own.  (Until lately where he just doesn't sleep well anywhere, so we cosleep since it's easier.)  The first time I put him in his own bed in his own room, he slept from 8 to 6 and only woke up once!

One thing I repeatedly tell myself is babies know what they need.  It's not like she's laying in her playpen thinking "Gee I really would rather go sleep with Mom but I'll keep quiet, I wouldn't want to bother her..." :)  I would enjoy the extra space until you go back to work; you might find her "needs" change once she's away from you more and that she'll return to cosleeping.  But if she doesn't and you are feeling sad and wondering why... my guess is that it is a little sad when they "wean" themselves from anything.  It means they are growing up which is both wonderful and sad at the same time.