Family

[big-mama]

I feel like I don't have a real family.  I see others with kids and their sisters take the kids for a day here and there, the grandparents dote on the kids and have them over for visits, etc.  No one in my family does this.  We are just not close I guess, but its not just that.   I got pregnant at 16 and am now 37 and STILL everyone acts like I am a "F" up and my kids are trash and they AREN'T an I'm not either.  I went to college and have a professional job and am a decent person (not that those who didn't aren't - but that was their big issue with the pregnancy - finances.  Its a major sin in my family to need financial or any other kind of help from anyone.)

DH's family isn't any different.  They go all gaga over his brothers kids and rave about how the 4 year old is still content to sit in a playpen and play with his fingers.  He's FOUR.  Hello!  That's not good behavior, that's a red flag!  I need to grow and not let this bother me and find supportive people to sort of be like a family.  Cause i don't really have one.

[Adaline'sMama]

Im sorry. I know it must make you feel alone. Have you thought about talking to your Mom and Dad about taking the kids for visits? What about asking your siblings if they would like to trade days with you- you watch their kid one Sat, they watch yours the next. That might get the ball rolling. However, if the real issue is the fact that you dont like how they treat you, and you feel like they arent respecting you, Im not sure youd even really WANT people like that watching your kids.

I suggest posting in Finding your Tribe and seeing if there are any playgroups in your area. Depending on where you live, you could really form some strong bonds with other moms. IMO, close friends can become your family- somtimes even better family than the one you were born or married into.

As for your comment about a four year old sitting in a playpen being a red flag, I agree that if a 4yo was content to do this all the time that may be a red flag, but I know some tired 4 yos that will sit anywhere and chew on their fingers if they are sleepy.