Hi there! I need to verify something with all you EC-weathered mums out there!

[EchoSoul]

Hi there, :) I'm new. And though I don't have a little one yet, he's well on his way(tomorrow I'm entering my third trimester).

Anyway, I've read significant material about EC training; and my fiance and I think it's the best way to go. We don't intend to try it until we've settled into a pattern and can recognize our baby boy's signals and cues(perhaps a couple weeks?), but fully intend to take each day until that point as a way to learn.

But I have a question. For now, we are living with my fiance and his parents(work has been difficult to come by), and we've informed them of our decision to do EC-training. But my fiance's mom has an issue; she thinks any messes will stain her new carpet, we've argued against this - afterall, I've cleaned up MUCH worse -  but are we correct? We're not into any chemical cleaners, I strictly use vinegar to clean up messes along with rolling/patting, but I still can't imagine that anything would stain. Maybe if we left it there, yes. But who does that? I don't leave messes to soak into carpet. And she purchased stain-resistant carpet anyway(it's wonderful - stuff just sits on top!), still....she argues that if we miss a movement, and he messes on the carpet, that it will stain, so he's not going to be allowed into that room of the house unless he's diapered and wearing a leakage-proof diaper cover or rubber pants(which is...another issue entirely, and for another time). We're trying to see this as fair, it IS her house, but is her worry founded?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! :)

EDIT: Oh! I also plan on breastfeeding, and I know that changes the typical consistency of excretions from a formula-fed baby.

[Kuba'sMama]

Hi!

Well... yellow, breastfed baby poo DOES stain... sorry. Probably even worse than the mature or formula-fed poo. But since you said you will (obviously) clean it up right away, it "should" be ok. Remember your baby won't be mobile for a while . So he won't get on the carpet unless someone places him there. You can always lie him down on a towel and receiving blanket (probably would do that anyway and not place on carpet directly). The newborn poos can explode though! So, yea, while cold and not so nice perhaps, but I'd say her worry "might" be a little valid. Sorry Congratulations! Oh, I'd have a couple prefolds or receiving blankets under him anyway while you're figuring it all out, not so fun being covered in baby poo.. just sayin'

[EchoSoul]

Originally Posted by Kuba'sMama 

Hi!

Well... yellow, breastfed baby poo DOES stain... sorry. Probably even worse than the mature or formula-fed poo. But since you said you will (obviously) clean it up right away, it "should" be ok. Remember your baby won't be mobile for a while . So he won't get on the carpet unless someone places him there. You can always lie him down on a towel and receiving blanket (probably would do that anyway and not place on carpet directly). The newborn poos can explode though! So, yea, while cold and not so nice perhaps, but I'd say her worry "might" be a little valid. Sorry Congratulations! Oh, I'd have a couple prefolds or receiving blankets under him anyway while you're figuring it all out, not so fun being covered in baby poo.. just sayin'

Wow. Can breastfed poop trump even cat diarrhea? Because when I said I've cleaned up worse...that's what I meant. We're hoping before the time he's mobile we'll have our own place anyway.

Thank you! He's our first, we're so excited :D

I read EC babies don't typically soil themselves when they're out of diapers anyway, but that they can, of course, have an accident or two. I'm pretty sure I could handle an accident on me, but I don't think my fiance could. :P I seem to have the stronger stomach as far as that goes.

In general.. I just don't want it causing so much frustration from the opposing end that we wind up wishing for the day there won't be accidents, and miss out on all the triumphant parts, and the general enjoyment of it.

[Kuba'sMama]

Yea.. I think it's harder for parents to understand, especially if it's something that they haven't really seen before. We live in a culture which fears human body functions and I don't think it's realistic to expect your mother in law to forget everything she's been exposed to for x-many years. While in her house I would probably not constantly flaunt EC'ing in her face. There are ways to be a bit discreet while still being regular. Plus it's counterproductive to try to tune in to your baby's needs with a hovering lady over your shoulder holding Lysol and a washcloth, lol.

Make it clear to your inlaws that it IS a journey, it will not happen overnight and you are taking it one day at a time, in the meantime there will be accidents. I'd also respect the shared space and have a loose cloth around the baby's bottom, even not done up... you might want to put him in a diaper when around the grandparents so they can hold him and pass him around and do the "grandparent things"

[lisavark]

You can do EC full-time and still use diapers. I had my DD in diapers a lot of the time till she was about a year old, but I still considered myself a full-time EC'er, because I was always paying attention to it and communicating with her about it (I was checking her diaper every five minutes sometimes, to make sure I didn't miss a pee! LOL). We did have lots of regular diaper-free time, generally every day, but I didn't start doing that till her poos were pretty consistently in the toilet (which was generally the case really early, maybe 2 or 3 months old...she only pooped every other day once a day though, so it was very easy to predict). 

Also, you need Bac-out. Nothing cleans up poop better. :) I've never had breastfed baby poop on carpet (didn't have any carpets till we moved when DD was a year old), but I have had solid poop on carpet, and it cleans up like a dream. Cleans pee really well too. And it's great for cleaning cloth diapers. It's a natural, non-toxic enzyme cleaner for biological stains. Our Kroger carries it now, in the organic section! 

[EchoSoul]

We try not to bring it up unless she does, we really are trying to consider the whole "must be diapered when he's in this room" as fair, since it is her house. But my question is, does wearing a diaper some of the day, and not wearing one some of the day, affect the way EC-training works? I've read some babies will go immediately after having their diaper taken off; wouldn't it be confusing to be offered the chance to go when naked, and offered the chance to go when diapered? Can they still make the distinction? I don't want to unintentionally screw up the efficacy of EC-training by having him in diapers some of the time, and butt-naked other times.

Oh, I've also read that the way disposable diapers work, and the way some cloth diapers are designed to work(to mimic the efficacy of disposable, but without the risk of adding to the landfills), can really make EC-training difficult, because they draw the moisture away from the baby's body, and the baby begins learning that they can at least urinate in the diaper, and it isn't going to be an issue because they don't get to feel that moisture. This shouldn't be a problem for us, though, we intend to use flat diapers, and not use anything that would draw the moisture away. Still... if they learn to associate with that, couldn't EC-training be more difficult being diapered some of the time, and diaper-free other times?

I intend to make being outside an integral part of his development(no one gets enough Vitamin D these days), as his time is so very limited to be outside and explore nature, because once school gets more taxing, the ability to be outside will become so very limited. With that, though, he'd get plenty of diaper-free time. But at that age do they learn to associate with being diapered as "sometimes an excuse to eliminate in it" vs being diaper-free as "never an excuse not to eliminate where offered"?

I will look for Bac-out! Thanks, :)

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

I have been doing part-time EC with my baby since he was 4 months old. Some days I'm consistent, and other days I'm lazy. He's mostly always diapered, but on the days I'm consistent, we can go an entire day without a wet diaper because he'll wait to use the toilet. If I'm lazy for a day or two, he returns to using his diapers.

Is this more confusing than doing full-time EC? I assume so, but it doesn't seem to be bothering him much. My plan is that when the warmer weather arrives, we'll go more or less full-time EC and I'm hoping to have him more or less out of diapers by the fall.

So... if you are prepared to diaper him and still do EC, it might be a win-win for you and your fiance's mother..

[hrsmom]

Congratulations! You will definitely feel you way through once he is here. When he's tiny you'll probably have him in a sling or something or if you lay him down it can be on something waterproof. I diapered almost 100% of the time even using disposables at first. We got to the point where she was naked at night on top of a prefold.

The books are great but it doesn't always go the way they say in the books.

Babies are flexible and in my experience it doesn't confuse them to change things around.

IMO diapers and training pants are your friend.

[hrsmom]

I just remembered even with mostly use of diapers and training pants, we still had poop on the carpet at least twice. I think she wasn't finished when I thought she was or something like that.

It's fun and I'm so glad we did EC!

[hrsmom]

P.S, we don't call it training. It's a way if caring for a child's elimination needs. It's not training.
There may be times when you strongly suggest to your child where you would like them to go (smiling)

If you do decide to use diapers or something, it's not a big deal if you change them as soon as you are able once you've become aware that they've gone.

[weliveintheforest]

My ds once pooped on our carpet and I could not get the stain out.  We hired an eco-friendly carpet cleaner when we moved out and he got it out no problem, so there is definitely some kind of cleaner that works.

As for the carpeted room, instead of always diapering him in there, you could just not let him crawl around naked.  When he is a nb he can lay on a blanket, or be in arms, and when he is older he can wear underwear or something.  

I don't think it is hard for babies to be diapered sometimes and still get EC.  

[Pepper44]

OP, don't over think it.  I do EC and my baby wears a prefold a lot.  It's not a big deal to take it off to potty her, then put it back on the same as you and I wear underwear...and if your MIL wants the baby to be wearing a cover then get some wool longies!

[matthia]

I'm a part-timer here. Finn doesn't seem to be the easiest baby to EC since he doesn't care too much about waiting for the toilet AND I have a hard time reading his signals (especially now that hes about to crawl and developing so rapidly). I don't much care about pee getting on things (mostly his blanket and playmat on the floor!). But I do look forward to nicer weather so I can leave him diaper free more often and for longer, I imagine that'l help.

I agree don't over think it. Baby will have some kind of cover at times, whether it's a flat or disposable or even just pants! It doesn't have to be an inviitation to soil himself, especially if you're more conscious of his signals (which you probably will be). Just offer him the potty more when you're spending time in the carpeted room. I know it"s hard to let go of having it all figured out now because you want to be prepared before bebe arrives (I know I did) but you"ll have to find a rythm between the two of you (or three, depending on how active your husband will be or will be able to be). You can't really predict that until your little one is here!

p.s. I actually found it really easy to start part-time ECing RIGHT AWAY. When he was tiny tiny, he would be peeing every 5 minutes anyways so even though he was in prefolds with no covers for the first several weeks (no clothes either, yay July babies!) and I could change him as soon as he peed, I would still offer him the toilet at each change and he would OFTEN go again anyways...

[EchoSoul]

Sorry for the delay, everyone. Been doing a ton of research and all, :)

Originally Posted by Perdita_in_Ontario 

I have been doing part-time EC with my baby since he was 4 months old. Some days I'm consistent, and other days I'm lazy. He's mostly always diapered, but on the days I'm consistent, we can go an entire day without a wet diaper because he'll wait to use the toilet. If I'm lazy for a day or two, he returns to using his diapers.

Is this more confusing than doing full-time EC? I assume so, but it doesn't seem to be bothering him much. My plan is that when the warmer weather arrives, we'll go more or less full-time EC and I'm hoping to have him more or less out of diapers by the fall.

So... if you are prepared to diaper him and still do EC, it might be a win-win for you and your fiance's mother..

We intend to have him diaper-free during his romps outside(outside play time is very important to us), and probably diaper-free at night. We knew we'd have to have him in diapers anyhow at one point or another - like going out and about at stores, so, I see your point. :) So your boy still gets the point across when you offer?

Originally Posted by hrsmom 

Congratulations! You will definitely feel you way through once he is here. When he's tiny you'll probably have him in a sling or something or if you lay him down it can be on something waterproof. I diapered almost 100% of the time even using disposables at first. We got to the point where she was naked at night on top of a prefold.

The books are great but it doesn't always go the way they say in the books.

Babies are flexible and in my experience it doesn't confuse them to change things around.

IMO diapers and training pants are your friend.

Yes.. I'm hoping so. There's a lot of things I hope instinct will guide me through, things that I can't exactly make decisions for just yet, because he will be an individual just like any other. :) We do intend to wear him. And laying him down on something waterproof(in case he springs a leak, anyway, lol), is a great idea. Did you have any issues with your baby eliminating at night without you being aware?

Originally Posted by hrsmom 

P.S, we don't call it training. It's a way if caring for a child's elimination needs. It's not training.
There may be times when you strongly suggest to your child where you would like them to go (smiling)

If you do decide to use diapers or something, it's not a big deal if you change them as soon as you are able once you've become aware that they've gone.

My apologies, then! Totally slipped my mind. Thanks for the reminder, though. :)

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest 

My ds once pooped on our carpet and I could not get the stain out.  We hired an eco-friendly carpet cleaner when we moved out and he got it out no problem, so there is definitely some kind of cleaner that works.

As for the carpeted room, instead of always diapering him in there, you could just not let him crawl around naked.  When he is a nb he can lay on a blanket, or be in arms, and when he is older he can wear underwear or something.  

I don't think it is hard for babies to be diapered sometimes and still get EC.  

Awesome, thanks. I had no idea that eco-friendly carpet cleaners even existed! I thought they were all chemical or no go.

Originally Posted by Pepper44 

OP, don't over think it.  I do EC and my baby wears a prefold a lot.  It's not a big deal to take it off to potty her, then put it back on the same as you and I wear underwear...and if your MIL wants the baby to be wearing a cover then get some wool longies!

I...have a tendency to over think things. I think I get it from my dad. We have discussed wool longies, actually, I've even debated on making some out of old sweatshirts!

Originally Posted by matthia 

I'm a part-timer here. Finn doesn't seem to be the easiest baby to EC since he doesn't care too much about waiting for the toilet AND I have a hard time reading his signals (especially now that hes about to crawl and developing so rapidly). I don't much care about pee getting on things (mostly his blanket and playmat on the floor!). But I do look forward to nicer weather so I can leave him diaper free more often and for longer, I imagine that'l help.

I agree don't over think it. Baby will have some kind of cover at times, whether it's a flat or disposable or even just pants! It doesn't have to be an inviitation to soil himself, especially if you're more conscious of his signals (which you probably will be). Just offer him the potty more when you're spending time in the carpeted room. I know it"s hard to let go of having it all figured out now because you want to be prepared before bebe arrives (I know I did) but you"ll have to find a rythm between the two of you (or three, depending on how active your husband will be or will be able to be). You can't really predict that until your little one is here!

p.s. I actually found it really easy to start part-time ECing RIGHT AWAY. When he was tiny tiny, he would be peeing every 5 minutes anyways so even though he was in prefolds with no covers for the first several weeks (no clothes either, yay July babies!) and I could change him as soon as he peed, I would still offer him the toilet at each change and he would OFTEN go again anyways...

Mm.. I've been looking at all kinds of receptacles to have around at any time of day. Between my fiance and I, we've considered everything from a bucket next to us at night time, to even a new litter box! Anything that would be easily transportable, and washed-out, really. Thanks, though, I'll definitely keep that in mind, :) And once again...I'll try not to overthink it,

[lisavark]

Yes, don't overthink it!--the most important thing in EC is for you to be relaxed about it and enjoy it. There's nothing fun about EC if you stress about catches and misses. That's why we don't call it training--so the focus is on communicating, not on training. Diapers don't need to be confusing at all, especially if you use flats, because he will always be getting communication--even if you don't notice a diapered pee right away, he's still getting communication from his body so he feels the wetness. The point of EC is to maintain bodily awareness and bond with your baby--catches are just a side benefit.

Congratulations and good luck! Have fun with it! Your fiance's parents will probably be really impressed when they see how gentle and fun it can be--you never know, they might become your biggest EC advocates!

[EchoSoul]

Originally Posted by lisavark 

Yes, don't overthink it!--the most important thing in EC is for you to be relaxed about it and enjoy it. There's nothing fun about EC if you stress about catches and misses. That's why we don't call it training--so the focus is on communicating, not on training. Diapers don't need to be confusing at all, especially if you use flats, because he will always be getting communication--even if you don't notice a diapered pee right away, he's still getting communication from his body so he feels the wetness. The point of EC is to maintain bodily awareness and bond with your baby--catches are just a side benefit.

Congratulations and good luck! Have fun with it! Your fiance's parents will probably be really impressed when they see how gentle and fun it can be--you never know, they might become your biggest EC advocates!

Yup! That was the major advantage I read about staying away from diapering systems that purposely draw the moisture away - they can't feel the wetness. I've got a pretty good mind to instill trust, anyway.. I used to live with a friend and her boyfriend and their daughter, and whenever their daughter said "I have to go to the bathroom" they'd say, "Oh, never believe her when she says that, she's lying." I was shocked! And then a few minutes later would pass, and her face would scrunch up and get a little red, and she'd utter a little grunt and say, "All done!" It was cute in a way, but no wonder they had so many issues getting her potty-trained, :/ Typically 2/3 times she said it, she really did have to go.

And maybe, :) They're okay with the idea in general; my fiance's mom just doesn't want accidents on her carpet. 'Course...her major issue probably is baby poo on the carpet. I had no idea it could be pretty hard to get out, though, that comes as a shock to me. I thought for sure that I'd cleaned up worse on that carpet before.

Still, thanks for all the advice, everyone. I'm trying to be prepared as much as possible, but I know I can never be prepared for it all. I know there's a lot I won't find out until natural instincts kick in, so the few things I can really think about, like this ECing, well....I've been over thinking, :)

[emmaegbert]

you'll figure it out and I agree with others- there is nothing wrong with a backup, and if it makes MIL comfortable, its worth it. 

[hrsmom]

I think you're doing great and you must be so excited!!!

I didn't have any troubles at night because I either had her in a diaper or on something waterproof with nothing. I think girls are easier in that regard.

My dd ended up being one of those babies who would hold it with a diaper on but would let loose if she were nakey.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Originally Posted by Perdita_in_Ontario 

I have been doing part-time EC with my baby since he was 4 months old. Some days I'm consistent, and other days I'm lazy. He's mostly always diapered, but on the days I'm consistent, we can go an entire day without a wet diaper because he'll wait to use the toilet. If I'm lazy for a day or two, he returns to using his diapers.

Is this more confusing than doing full-time EC? I assume so, but it doesn't seem to be bothering him much. My plan is that when the warmer weather arrives, we'll go more or less full-time EC and I'm hoping to have him more or less out of diapers by the fall.

So... if you are prepared to diaper him and still do EC, it might be a win-win for you and your fiance's mother..

We intend to have him diaper-free during his romps outside(outside play time is very important to us), and probably diaper-free at night. We knew we'd have to have him in diapers anyhow at one point or another - like going out and about at stores, so, I see your point. :) So your boy still gets the point across when you offer?

He almost always can "produce" something when I plop him on the toilet, which I generally do if I check his diaper and it's been dry for more than an hour. It's extremely rare that he poops in a diaper now - I think he purposely will hold that particularly, and will get pretty insistent (like with loud, pointed grunting noises, but not actually "going") if I miss his early cues. I'm pretty amazed how well it works still! To be honest, even though we use diapers almost always, I find it hard to imagine NOT doing EC now. It's so easy, at least with this little guy, and so much nicer than changing a poopy bum!