Dont freak out it really isnt that bad, in my experience people love to chalk it up about how awful it is because they like to point out how advanced their country is. I gave birth to my first baby here in hospital, I tried to find a sage femme liberal to have a home birth but I couldnt find one, it turns out there are actually a few.
The birth went so well, I had my own ensuite room where my husband could stay the whole time, he even had breakfast in bed every morning with us. It was a completely natural vaginal birth, no pain relief, IV, oxitocin, absolutely nothing, and I ate and drank all I wanted, they told me I couldnt when I visited and that I would have to have an IV but I just ate and drank in my room and I just refused the IV. They arent going to hold you down!! We waited for the cord blood to stop flowing before cutting which my husband did. I ended up having a severe postpartum hemorrhage and they took great care of me, so I was glad that I didnt have a home birth in the end. After wards we got some awful advice about breastfeeding, but you arent a first time mum like I was. This was in a very rural hospital in Villefranche de Rouergue in Aveyron. It doesnt have amis de bebe status. The hospital nearest to me was a bit of a factory so I chose not to birth there, we had to travel an hour or so to the other. I think that if you are having your third child it would be so much easier to have the birth you want than it was for me, although I dont know what sort of complications you had of course.
There are choices for birthing they just arent posted on the internet or your obstetricians office either, your best bet is to join a lll group (I know plenty of mammas nursing their toddlers there) and ask about home birth. The french love to say words like obligatoire when it isnt actually at all obligatory, I think a lot of expats hear someone in authority saying you cant do this or that and think it is definitive, but people bend the rules here a lot! You will meet your fair share of narrow minded people here, as anywhere, so you will have to find your "village" which as a family is quite easy to do. Our way of parenting isnt the norm here by any stretch of the imagination, but those who do parent as we do stick together, which is great for someone just moving here, you will make friends through that.
For example all over the internet on expat forums you will read it is obligatory to vaccinate your child, not true, it is obligatory that they are vaccinated to go into school or creche ect. My daughter has only had the DTP vaccination (which people will also tell you is not possible to get hold of) because she isnt going to creche and I plan to homeschool so I didnt even have to give her that.
France is a great place to raise a family, there is lots of space and it is comparably very safe just because the majority of people do it one way doesnt mean you need to. Also dont worry about what you read on the internet, not many people think oh, I'm so happy here I'm going to post it on the internet, they usually want to get something off their chest.
Wow this is so long! Ok keep calm mamma, it is normal to have a few panic attacks but I know of many French families who breastfeed until their kids self ween, homebirth, co sleep ect.
I hope the move goes well!
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